Break

i would really really enjoy having a clear concious for just a short period of time..but then i just keep on running into you and i just cant keep from making a fool of myself. you do nothing to help the situation, but your just you i guess. im so fucking paranoid when i interact with you i just...i dont know. i want to erase time..go back a while and redo everything i just said to you..everytime...God i just cant bear myself after the fact either. its this feeling i just cant deal with,and no matter what i try i cant seem to rid my psyche of it...i wish for nothing greater than for you to bear your true thoughts to me, for you are a person i simply cannot read. I cannot even begin to fathom your opinion of me, my existance, and for some reason this irritates me. i want to know. i want to be able to read you, to see your soul, as i can everybody elses. your closed to me. your like the temptation of the gorgeous porcelain doll horrid mother said never to touch. As much as i desire to spite her, i dont know if i can ever bring myself to break you.