True Stories are Better than lies

A semi sober rant about the rush of being ambiguous. My roommates told me to post this because apparently it's funny.

Well Today I decided to bring my friends with me to my friend B's new house supposedly a short walk from town. Well, it turned out to be about three miles. By the second mile he turned on his GPS and said there was nothing showing up for miles and that the road was endless and started flipping out a little. but then I got a call because B had passed us in his truck, of course..it was a two seater and he didn't have room for three. A mile later by sundown we arrived to the sexy twins who were both cute funny and hammered and stud B who had been working out and by all means it showed. Roommate doesn't like the fact that he's not the only sexy stud around. B's muscles are huge! We drank alcohol, I smoked cigarettes with sexy twin number two, (i forget his name) and then B reveals to the twins and I *this kickass energy drink while sweet girl and roommate are outside and sweet girl is being chastised for smoking, lol.

B said he got 200 dollars worth of free powdery stuff that made him go tingly and numb and that it *was better than coke. So I got all excited! and he poured me three spoonfools in a glass with some water. I drank it all at once. felt a little happy, but I guess it's the fact that this Strattera knocks any psychoactive chemical out of me, well, except for pot. Now pot is a different story for another time. Well, within a little while I felt great, and then i felt normal. *I was bouncing *a bit, but nothing special happened. They were hoping for something far more interesting. haha. B comes charging out in a football helmet, I try it on and nearly fall over. We're listening to Disturbed and roommate is nerding it out. haha. I have no nerd card.

So I had four more beers, and a red bull and vodka and maybe four cigarettes, but still felt sober. Well, we all got in the car, the driver was deff. not sober and roommate was getting PO'd a little, we went down to the bar. I zoned out to this beautiful mellow music, and then went to tonys because my friend wanted to go to my apartment and have wonderful awesome sex with his girlfriend for awhile while i had a night on the town. i only stayed an hour, it was nice but i didn't see anyone I knew...they're probably still playing music aaand they played Beastie Boys! ( RIP dude from Beastie Boys! Your stuff rocked the 90's !) they will last until 3 am.*

So when I got back after an hour of listening to covers and chillin with my vodka, I came *in the door, heard them fucking, looked everywhere for my cigarettes with my pants off because it was hot. Then a neighbor walked by and peaked in, and stared at my roommate with his ass in the air on top of sweet girl who shall not yet be named. Well, random stupid neighbor howled, and that was awkward. I put my pants back on and walked outside, bingo! My cigarettes! I left them on the porch...yay, then I walked outside and saw neighbor who was drunk of his ass sitting on a car, smoking, and we laughed about how he had "accidentally peaked" ...he says,*

"You know, it's funny sex is so funny, we all do it. we get naked we each other and it's all awkward but you know it's sex, and I happened to take a peak, *laugh*" and then he adds "by the way I'm really fucking drunk." and he was, this guy is someone who can handle acid with a straight face but give him too much alcohol and he's hilarious. He said he howled at the moon, and we laid on the ground and talked about the moon for awhile, he kept saying "look there's a star!" and I kept saying "where?" and then he joked because no one would see it...and then he walked around, danced the pee pee dance and pissed in the yard somewhere in the dark. this is the same guy I said, "I'm going to **** you..." as he lay there on the sidewalk when i came up from the porch, evil grin.*

The two and him eventually walked all of two feet home, he needed sobering..and I said I would wait for the fairies to take me home. One guy's like, *yes let the fairies take you home and wrap you up nice and warm in bed. *Puhlease. After he said that, thinking about fairies taking me home only made me hornier. I had tried to make a sexy crazy video of me stripping, but none of them could beat the last one i made, that i shall not put online until I'm *at least heavily medicated or totally stoned or trippin wicked balls. I really don't know what to make for my sexy video, see im an exhibitionist, but only in the passionate or highly controversial way, nothing with dripping cum on my face while this man wacks me with his cock. Although it does sound kind of intruiging. I would like to be wacked in the face with a dick, just not yet. I almost made a video of me fucking a guy with an apron on but his knees were shaking and my ass was so close to the camera all you could see was my ass, anyways...

the worst part is when I smoked a cigarette, i thought about how I would masturbate to fairies ****** me. And people think they're strange...well, now I'm sitting on my bed naked except for a t-shirt waiting for my sexyman listening to kate bush, *i need mr. sexy man now. I need him. Now. Where oh where is my sexy man? I got a cat yesterday, i think this ADD medication is giving me ADD, but oh princess how I do dearly love it so! I got my nerd card revoked thrice now. "

And at least now I know where a man's urethra is." shivers, I creep myself out sometimes. It's not the Ritalin or Adderall, it's that adrenaline pumping fun stuff. Can't take too much. Hahahahahahahahahahahahah. WTF/ there is no moo there is only me. Yes please, lubricated penis and vagina FTW. *Think of the children before you torture them, and don't leave home without your pet, mine is a sweet little ol jackrabbit I call Buddy. Buddy and me are going to have fun tonight. *Guess who gets the last laugh while masturbating?
Me.*

Bitches! Hoes! Bros! But please No Uncle Joes!*