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-   -   Eternal life. (http://www.gothic.net/boards/showthread.php?t=25788)

pothead 12-07-2011 02:11 AM

Eternal life.
 
I am writing to proclaim the gospel of Jesus Christ the son of God. So will you accept the sacrifice Jesus made by giving up his life to save yours, so that if you believe that he died on the cross, and if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that he was rose from the dead on the third day by God the father, you will be saved. He did it all to offer you eternal life, and forgiveness of your sins, to pay off your sin debt. The debt that you owed God because of your sin that separates you from God that debt you could never pay off, that Jesus paid it in full having nailed it to the cross.

So will you receive the free gift of pardon from your sins, and accept the free gift of eternal life? Will you accept the free gifts by praying the sinners prayer ?
Now please if you want to go to heaven, and receive the free gifts please pray with me by using your mouth and speaking pray this with me. Please Pray ( dear Jesus I believe that you died on the Cross for my sins, I acknowledge that I am a sinner, and I know I can't save myself. I ask you to come into my heart, and save me, and forgive me of my sins. I confess that Jesus Christ is the Lord, I repent of my sin. I accept you as my Lord, and savior I call upon your name Lord Jesus amen) Remember Jesus loves you so much he died for you!!

Now if you prayed this prayer, said it out aloud, and believed in Jesus. you are saved, which means you are now a christian, and is going to heaven. Also remember you can't ever go to heaven by being a good person for the bible says there is none good, but one, and that is God. So will you pray the sinners prayer, and accept Jesus as your Lord, and Savior?????????????

Timeless Rebellion 12-07-2011 03:03 AM

I am writing to proclaim the gospel of the flying spaghetti monster.
So will you accept the sacrifice the flying spaghetti made by giving up his brothers to fuel Italian restaurants, so that if you believe that they died on the plate, and if you confess with your mouth that you ate them and believe in your heart that they were tasty, even on the third day after cooking, you will be saved. He did it all to offer you eternal pasta and tastiness of food and to pay off your fat debt. The debt that you owed your body because of your fasting that separates you from the flying spaghetty monster that debt you could never pay off. The spaghetti monster paid it in full having put his brothers on the plate.

Grausamkeit 12-07-2011 07:07 AM

Yes, I believe! Pastafarian ALL THE WAY!

Beowulf 12-07-2011 07:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grausamkeit (Post 686849)
Yes, I believe! Pastafarian ALL THE WAY!


The Tagliatelle loves you !!!. :P

Morpheus13 12-07-2011 11:55 AM

Spaghetti is a cause that I can definitely consum... er, get behind. Sign me up for salvation!

I accept the sacrifice the flying spaghetti made!
I believe that they died on the plate!
And I confess I ate them and believe in my heart that they were tasty!
Especially on the third day after cooking!
I feel the eternal pasta and tastiness of food!
All hail the flying spaghetti monster!

This is the danger of being on gnet right before lunch.

Kasdeja 12-07-2011 12:35 PM

Ahh... the beer volcano and stripper factory await us.

honeythorn 12-07-2011 01:11 PM

How many times infidel!???? I have already explained that I am the king of Israel, and I killed Jesus by smothering him in home made raspberry jam and clapped a slice of Warburtons on top. I MADE A JESUS SAMMICH.

As I am king of Israel my Judgement is absolute. Now fetch me tea in my giant Betta print mug *clapclap*

pothead 12-07-2011 04:25 PM

I'm not talking about the king of Israel here

Morpheus13 12-07-2011 07:14 PM

Honestly Honeythorn. This is not the thread that you rule. I am the lord and master of this thread and they will do as I ask or they will face my squirrely wrath. My servants will gladly fulfill your request for tea. *clapclap*
And while they are at it they had better get me some as well. I think the garden will do nicely as its a clear night where I am.

pothead 12-08-2011 01:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Morpheus13 (Post 686892)
Honestly Honeythorn. This is not the thread that you rule. I am the lord and master of this thread and they will do as I ask or they will face my squirrely wrath. My servants will gladly fulfill your request for tea. *clapclap*
And while they are at it they had better get me some as well. I think the garden will do nicely as its a clear night where I am.

the only Lord, and master of this thread is Jesus, are you Jesus?

burningplain 12-08-2011 03:31 AM

@Pothead; actually I think you'll find the lord and master of this thread will be the forum moderator(s).

Kasdeja 12-08-2011 04:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by burningplain (Post 686935)
@Pothead; actually I think you'll find the lord and master of this thread will be the forum moderator(s).

Heh.... yeah, when they DO show up.

CptSternn 12-08-2011 05:42 AM

Matthew 6:1-10

Grausamkeit 12-08-2011 05:49 AM

For Wolfie so loved the forum that she pissed on pothead with her penis that even his god fears.

pothead 12-08-2011 06:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CptSternn (Post 686939)
Matthew 6:1-10

wow you know something about the bible, well i'm not asking ppl to pray the sinners prayer in public, but in the privacy of there own homes .. anything wrong with that?

Morpheus13 12-08-2011 10:08 AM

Is it really so shocking that someone besides you knows something about the bible?

CuckooTuli 12-08-2011 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Morpheus13 (Post 686964)
Is it really so shocking that someone besides you knows something about the bible?

I wouldn' bother trying to reason - dude's been trolling the board for the best part of a year. It's gotten to the point where I can't believe people are still falling for it, though most now confine their responses to Jesus Sammich-type reappropriation.

Morpheus13 12-08-2011 10:35 AM

I really know that. I just enjoy- for some strange, twisted reason or other- these posts by pothead more for their responses by non-pothead entities than for their evangelical properties.

Grausamkeit 12-08-2011 06:30 PM

This is why we do it. not to interact with him, but to make our fellow members laugh. Because we're Goth and Goths are always moping...

pothead 12-08-2011 08:20 PM

whats more gothic than Jesus and a cross huh? I'm gothic too

HumanePain 12-08-2011 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pothead (Post 687013)
whats more gothic than Jesus and a cross huh? I'm gothic too

Iron and wood
with flesh in between.

Blood dripping down
What does it mean?

-HP

Timeless Rebellion 12-09-2011 01:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Morpheus13 (Post 686892)
Honestly Honeythorn. This is not the thread that you rule. I am the lord and master of this thread and they will do as I ask or they will face my squirrely wrath. My servants will gladly fulfill your request for tea. *clapclap*
And while they are at it they had better get me some as well. I think the garden will do nicely as its a clear night where I am.

Infidel!! The ruler of this thread is the flying spaghetti monster!!

MissCheyenne 12-09-2011 05:52 AM

^ The shuffling lasagna wants a word.

Grausamkeit 12-09-2011 08:27 AM

What about the Miraculous Manicotti?

Morpheus13 12-09-2011 10:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Timeless Rebellion (Post 687026)
Infidel!! The ruler of this thread is the flying spaghetti monster!!

I am no infidel. The flying spaghetti monster has spoken to me and given me a message to pass on to the world. I am here to tell you that the consumption of all pasta but spaghetti is an abomination before the sight of the FSM. Repent! For the days of Tomato Sauce Famine are close upon us!


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