The Delegation of Dudes
1. Seriously, Versus?
Seriously. The Manliest Man thread is fucking dead, and I don't feel like updating the parody right now... but this shit is important. 2. Why? My intent is to form a G.net tree house to discuss different aspects of maninity such as whiskey, beef jerky, and porn, as well as democratically decide a new man-law mandate specific to the men of G.net as sort of a primer to those uninitiated among us. 3. Dude, there is a social group link at the bottom of the page. Stop trolling. No. 4. But Versus, I'm not a man! That's completely fine. I think it's readily apparent that this thread is nothing but a farce crafted to perpetuate my awesome. 5. Awesome! Mantastic. |
The first order of business is something that, sadly, seems to be lost to a great deal of guys. I speak, of course, about...
Urinal Etiquette It always amazes me how often I notice, whether from ignorance or apathy, the astounding number of men that violate some of the most basic bathroom codes of conduct. Take heed: these hallowed commandments have been passed down for generations for good reasons, gentlemen. Thou shall not make eye contact, Thou shall not speak to thy neighbor, Thou shall not peek, Thou shall not accompany thy bro without need of relief, Thou shall adhere to the urinal sequence, (See fig. A) Thou shall not waste time at the sink and mirror, Thou shall not beat meat in a contested seat Fig. A A{ <-3 B{ <-2 C{ <-4 D{ <-1 ----------- As shown in the standard quad manfiguration, prospective pissers should first utilize A, the far urinal closest to the wall so as to keep ample distance for their fellow man. If one should come upon a urinal stack that has a single occupant, stall B is next in priority in order to divide the ego/dick ratio evenly. If you are the third to enter, your next choice should be 3 so that you can minimize the concentration of dick as well as break the otherwise unavoidable continuous line of dicks. It is not a sin to occupy the last stall, but it is counter-productive to those devout among us who should strive broaden the cock/pussy per square feet ratio. Discuss. |
I'm glad I don't have a dick, I can't pee if there's anyone around who can hear me, the thought of peeing in front of people without much privacy gives me cold shivers.
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I would like, at this moment, to declare my undying love of beef jerky. Especially peppered and teriyaki... mmm beef.
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Really? If someone can hear you? So you need the entire room to yourself? That sounds kind of debilitating in public.
I never had issues with that, but I used to be uncomfortable changing or taking a shower in a locker room. I used to go into one of the stalls and change there. XD Now I don't really care. I like to be obnoxious and pull my pants and underwear to my ankles to troll the guy who has to watch my piss during a urinalysis. And I just realized I have a lot of stories that probably only I find funny. Never mind. :x |
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I don't use urinals, I either use or stall or hold it in. I'm scared that I'll find I have a small penis compared to Average Joe despite all the affirmations from 'friends' that I don't :x
Anyway, let's face it, there's always someone peeking at the urinals for various reasons, I'm just surprised it's never been me. |
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I find lots of things funny! |
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As a rule of thumb, I do not peek. If someone wants to see it, however, they can get in line. |
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I kind of stopped caring about privacy after a while, though. When we were at this little outpost in Iraq, we just left the door open because it was so hot inside. And the urinal sequence applies to stalls, as well. I can't tell you how much it pisses me off when I'm alone at 3 in the morning and some jackass decides to take a dump in the stall next to mine, as opposed to the twenty others he could have chosen. It's like "FUCK! You KNOW I'm jerking off! Why don't you be a little more considerate?!" |
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/gets in line
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messagetooshort |
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Oh you fucking cock tease.
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You slut!
black as black tits |
Anyway.
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I'm deducting masculinity points for the pants.
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That's fine. Pajamas are never maninin.
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/makes grabby hands.
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