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Breathless Horror 06-28-2010 07:02 PM

Summoning Cthulhu
 
So me and a few friends have decided it would be a good time to imbibe large amounts of intoxicants and attempt to summon Cthulhu, Azathoth, or some other suitable Great Old One. I very much expect it to fail. Fuck that it had BETTER fail, but in the interest of potentially world-ending, sanity-rending fun, we're doing it anyways.

Anyone have any ideas for it? So far we've agreed that we need an effigy, bonfire, hand drums, black robes (or birthday suit and paint). Anyone know any cool "magic circles" or anything?

As I said, it's not going to work, but we want it to be as "real" as possible, as we will probably going to record it.

Anarasha 06-28-2010 07:05 PM

You should sacrifice at least 3 Narwhals for a Cthulu summon.

Breathless Horror 06-28-2010 07:08 PM

Man, where in the righteous fuck am I supposed to get a narwhal? Let alone three?!!?! I live in Canada dude. Maybe great old ones dig moose? We discussed the possability of sacrifice, but no one wanted to volunteer, or had a significant other they were tiring of. We'd pick someone off the street, but we don't have a vehicule in which to cram a kidnapping vic.

Also, that song is fucking awesome.

Solumina 06-28-2010 08:37 PM

I'm sure a bull moose would be acceptable, just remember that you can't shoot a sacrifice, it much be done with either a knife or your bare hands so you all may need some rope to keep that moose under control.

Nocturnal Logic 06-28-2010 08:54 PM

Sounds like a wonderful idea. Perhaps you should include vile drums and accursed flutes, to accompany the screaming of the name Azathoth, whose name no lips dare speak aloud. Cthulu likes friends. :P

Also, I wouldn't recommend anything with the name 'lysergic acid' be involved with that... just, yeah, that seems like it could turn out bad.

Despanan 06-28-2010 11:02 PM

Human Sacrifice.

DO IT FAG.GOT!

Breathless Horror 06-29-2010 09:17 AM

Quote:

just remember that you can't shoot a sacrifice, it must be done with either a knife or your bare hands
Hmmm...do you think a very ornate 200 year old short sword suffice? I think that it would probably take me a couple of tries with my knife to actually mortally wound a bull moose, and I think I'd feel guilty. Just cause it's a sacrifice doesn't mean I want to be a dick about it XD

Quote:

Sounds like a wonderful idea. Perhaps you should include vile drums and accursed flutes, to accompany the screaming of the name Azathoth, whose name no lips dare speak aloud. Cthulu likes friends. :P

Also, I wouldn't recommend anything with the name 'lysergic acid' be involved with that... just, yeah, that seems like it could turn out bad.
Yeah, drums are definitely go. You can't dance around a bonfire shrieking the name of an elder evil without drums, just can't happen. As far as I am aware of the only flute player in my vincinity is my father, and something makes me think he wouldn't be down for our little party. Hopefully someone can make a few dischordant wails on one.

Definitely have to agree with the ban hammer on 'cid, that'd definitely increase the risk to your/our/my sanity. We'd been thinking tons of speed and a to-be-determined hard liquor. We still have to find the most evil drink XD

Quote:

Human Sacrifice.

DO IT FAG.GOT!
But it's so much EFFORT!! [/whine] Maybe I'll put up a wanted add on craigslist:

WANTED
Human Sacrifice

Must be in perfect physical and mental health, and be able to continue screaming "Ia Ia Cthulhu Ftagn" with a large bladed knife imbedded in their abdomen.


Thanks guys! Keep the idea's coming. We're definitely videotaping it when it goes down, I'll be sure to post it somewhere.

Ben Lahnger 06-29-2010 09:20 AM

Just don't add the line "must be a virgin" to that want ad. You'll reduce the prospect pool exponentially.

Lady Sorrow 06-29-2010 09:21 AM

make sure you cast your circle right lol or the invoked and others drawn to your little bon fire might do some damage haha. and ya, a sword should work. (make sure your alter is set us accordingly as well)

Despanan 06-29-2010 09:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Breathless Horror (Post 624079)
But it's so much EFFORT!!

DO IT NAO!!!1one.

Breathless Horror 06-29-2010 09:47 AM

Hmmmm, I just realized there's a baphomet on the Album sleeve of my Leftover Crack record (Mediocre Generica if anyone cares...fucking great album), it just might be tracin' time. Fuck I should probably find some elder signs, I seem to recall reading in one of Lovecraft's stories that they granted some kind of protection from the old ones.

Good to know the sword is go, it really it a beautiful weapon.

Fine Desp, I'll do it man, but not now. I'm not ready and I sure as fuck don't wan't to have to feed the poor bastard in my basement for a month now do I? Not to mention all the awkwardness of Stockholm Syndrome when it comes time for the ceremony, that'd be awful.

Anarasha 06-29-2010 10:11 AM

You should cut off your ear and summon the spirit of Vincent van Gogh to help you in your quest.

Breathless Horror 06-29-2010 10:27 AM

Naw man, I need that shit. Besides, how would Gogh help? I don't need a painting, I have a video camera.

Anarasha 06-29-2010 12:25 PM

You need him to paint the ikon on which you splash the blood of the sacrificial animal.

Breathless Horror 06-29-2010 12:42 PM

Fuck icons dude, effigy's are the way to go. Ten foot likeness of cthulhu complete with badass facial tentacles here I come!

paleghost 06-29-2010 08:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anarasha (Post 624138)
You need him to paint the ikon on which you splash the blood of the sacrificial animal.

forget that I got the whole thing planned out. First you need a human sacrafice. you baptize them in ichor (slime) and almost drown her to offer her to Cthulu.

Greggles 06-29-2010 09:41 PM

and your gonna need a sammich, Cthulhu is going to be hungry, so yeah, sammich.

KontanKarite 06-29-2010 09:46 PM

Why not just fuck at midnight instead of human sacrifice? I bet you're too much of a prude.

Greggles 06-29-2010 10:12 PM

Trust me, if thats all it took, there would be Cthulhus running around all over my town.

Nocturnal Logic 06-29-2010 11:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Greggles (Post 624270)
Trust me, if thats all it took, there would be Cthulhus running around all over my town.

If that's all it took, you wouldn't have a town.

ape descendant 06-29-2010 11:56 PM

You'll also need copious amounts of varying sizes of knitting needles. Cthulu, loves knitting needles.. cause Cthulu is a god of knitting and decoupage.

Angelic Dissonance 06-30-2010 04:53 PM

Come on, dude, where's your Necronomicon...? I'll bet you don't even know the Great Sign of Koth. To summon the Elder gods, you've got to have ancient artifacts, or know the rituals. Try this page:
http://cthulhufiles.com/necro/necromancy.htm
It's the most comprehensive and complete I've come across. Seek, and ye shall find.

Don't forget the Incense; incense is very crucial to the workings of magick.
Quote:

Originally posted by Necronomicon Project
"...In the day and hour of Mercury with the Moon in her increase, thou shalt take equal parts of Myrrh, Civet, Storax, Wormwood, Assafoetida, Galbanum and Musk, mix well together and reduce all to the finest powder."
I, personally, recommend a mix of sage, rosemary, black pepper, salt, sugar, and cinnamon. And maybe Hashish and Laudenum.... You'll need a bowl on a tripod to burn it all. And WATCH OUT FOR THOSE DARK WINGED FIGURES!!!!!

It's all in the incantation, bro... chant loud and proud... and in the middle of the woods so your neighbor doesn't call the cops....

Anarasha 06-30-2010 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Greggles (Post 624270)
Trust me, if thats all it took, there would be Cthulhus running around all over my town.

BLASPHEMER! *hissing noise*
THERE IS ONLY ONE CTHULU!

Greggles 06-30-2010 05:17 PM

how do you know there aren't a bunch but there has only ever been one seen at a time?

LaBelleDameSansMerci 06-30-2010 06:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Breathless Horror (Post 624079)
We still have to find the most evil drink XD

Screech.

(Available at many LCBO outlets.)


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