Summoning Cthulhu
So me and a few friends have decided it would be a good time to imbibe large amounts of intoxicants and attempt to summon Cthulhu, Azathoth, or some other suitable Great Old One. I very much expect it to fail. Fuck that it had BETTER fail, but in the interest of potentially world-ending, sanity-rending fun, we're doing it anyways.
Anyone have any ideas for it? So far we've agreed that we need an effigy, bonfire, hand drums, black robes (or birthday suit and paint). Anyone know any cool "magic circles" or anything? As I said, it's not going to work, but we want it to be as "real" as possible, as we will probably going to record it. |
You should sacrifice at least 3 Narwhals for a Cthulu summon.
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Man, where in the righteous fuck am I supposed to get a narwhal? Let alone three?!!?! I live in Canada dude. Maybe great old ones dig moose? We discussed the possability of sacrifice, but no one wanted to volunteer, or had a significant other they were tiring of. We'd pick someone off the street, but we don't have a vehicule in which to cram a kidnapping vic.
Also, that song is fucking awesome. |
I'm sure a bull moose would be acceptable, just remember that you can't shoot a sacrifice, it much be done with either a knife or your bare hands so you all may need some rope to keep that moose under control.
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Sounds like a wonderful idea. Perhaps you should include vile drums and accursed flutes, to accompany the screaming of the name Azathoth, whose name no lips dare speak aloud. Cthulu likes friends. :P
Also, I wouldn't recommend anything with the name 'lysergic acid' be involved with that... just, yeah, that seems like it could turn out bad. |
Human Sacrifice.
DO IT FAG.GOT! |
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Definitely have to agree with the ban hammer on 'cid, that'd definitely increase the risk to your/our/my sanity. We'd been thinking tons of speed and a to-be-determined hard liquor. We still have to find the most evil drink XD Quote:
WANTED Human Sacrifice Must be in perfect physical and mental health, and be able to continue screaming "Ia Ia Cthulhu Ftagn" with a large bladed knife imbedded in their abdomen. Thanks guys! Keep the idea's coming. We're definitely videotaping it when it goes down, I'll be sure to post it somewhere. |
Just don't add the line "must be a virgin" to that want ad. You'll reduce the prospect pool exponentially.
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make sure you cast your circle right lol or the invoked and others drawn to your little bon fire might do some damage haha. and ya, a sword should work. (make sure your alter is set us accordingly as well)
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Hmmmm, I just realized there's a baphomet on the Album sleeve of my Leftover Crack record (Mediocre Generica if anyone cares...fucking great album), it just might be tracin' time. Fuck I should probably find some elder signs, I seem to recall reading in one of Lovecraft's stories that they granted some kind of protection from the old ones.
Good to know the sword is go, it really it a beautiful weapon. Fine Desp, I'll do it man, but not now. I'm not ready and I sure as fuck don't wan't to have to feed the poor bastard in my basement for a month now do I? Not to mention all the awkwardness of Stockholm Syndrome when it comes time for the ceremony, that'd be awful. |
You should cut off your ear and summon the spirit of Vincent van Gogh to help you in your quest.
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Naw man, I need that shit. Besides, how would Gogh help? I don't need a painting, I have a video camera.
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You need him to paint the ikon on which you splash the blood of the sacrificial animal.
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Fuck icons dude, effigy's are the way to go. Ten foot likeness of cthulhu complete with badass facial tentacles here I come!
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and your gonna need a sammich, Cthulhu is going to be hungry, so yeah, sammich.
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Why not just fuck at midnight instead of human sacrifice? I bet you're too much of a prude.
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Trust me, if thats all it took, there would be Cthulhus running around all over my town.
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You'll also need copious amounts of varying sizes of knitting needles. Cthulu, loves knitting needles.. cause Cthulu is a god of knitting and decoupage.
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Come on, dude, where's your Necronomicon...? I'll bet you don't even know the Great Sign of Koth. To summon the Elder gods, you've got to have ancient artifacts, or know the rituals. Try this page:
http://cthulhufiles.com/necro/necromancy.htm It's the most comprehensive and complete I've come across. Seek, and ye shall find. Don't forget the Incense; incense is very crucial to the workings of magick. Quote:
It's all in the incantation, bro... chant loud and proud... and in the middle of the woods so your neighbor doesn't call the cops.... |
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THERE IS ONLY ONE CTHULU! |
how do you know there aren't a bunch but there has only ever been one seen at a time?
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(Available at many LCBO outlets.) |
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