My girlfriend is evil
 

and she wants to live with me. What do?

Say no? That's what you normally do to avoid unpleasant and ongoing bad....things.

But I need a roommate and I don't know anyone else and she promises to do all the washing up.

She won't. Queen said pain is so close to pleasure, how painful do you want it? ;)

Probably a little out of my depth tbh but it's so hard to resist a challenge

Find a roommate through a friend instead... she sounds like she needs to be kept at arm's length.

Why is she still your girlfriend? (Are you too afraid to end it? If so: I suggest you move away, colour your hair, have major plastic surgery and change your name just for good measure :) )

Tell her she'll have to pay off her share of the rent in bed.

Then drive the debil out of her! Repeatedly! With vigorous thrusting ... if you get my subtle meaning.

... with your hand around her throat.

I have no friends ):

Run an add looking for a room mate!
It may take a while, but it's worth the wait.
Living with her, even if she will clean,
is asking for a Versus uppercut to your spleen.

I love how you all just took my word for it

I love how you think we weren't trolling you.

I'm going to say "Meh."

Oh no I didn't mean I was lying.

I really do find the credulity refreshing.

Embellishing? Telling tall tales? Exaggerating the truth? Milking it for all it's worth?
Stop me if you've heard enough; I've got more. :p

Good. Glad you were lying, because I don't know how someone would date someone they think is evil. Maybe living together is a big step, yet everyone should at least like the people they date. :)

What? No I'm being dead serious and I like that everyone took that at face value. Really.

Name one good reason (besides sex, because I'm trying to cut you the littlest bit of slack in assuming you are intelligent and not just thinking with your dick) why you would date someone who is evil.

Anyone can do better than that ... hell, being single is better than that.

You're missing my point then. Don't get into relationships with people you think are evil.

Oooh, I can think of a few! You know someone who'll have no problem knocking off someone and think nothing of helping you stash or cut up the body. Also, if you're ever hungry, you always have a ready supply of pea soup around. Finally, any girl who makes out with a crucifix would probably do just about anything in bed, right?

Wait... is she evil or possessed? I might have gotten that confused.

Naughty nuns....Mmmmmm....

As to your girlfriend being evil, she is female, so this is a given. Also, being female I can tell you she won't do all the cleaning and what not. It will start that way and then she'll bitch at you for how lazy and messy you are and how you treat her like a maid. This is my experience with women and as a woman.

I can't tell you how many times I've heard that before.

Because when she ends all life on earth, you might be the last to go? Or the first. Who knows, she may let you choose according to your preference.

At the very least, you could get some good sex before you go in a fiery, humanity-ending cataclysm.

Not only that, but having sex with the Antichrist is probably the most remarkable thing you'll ever do with your life.