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-   -   Man Assaults Wife for Not "Liking" His Facebook Update (https://www.gothic.net/boards/showthread.php?t=25526)

Ben Lahnger 10-10-2011 05:41 AM
Man Assaults Wife for Not "Liking" His Facebook Update
 
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Man Assaults Wife for Not "Liking" His Facebook Update

SOURCE

Quote:
A 36-year-old Texas man has pleaded not guilty to battery charges after allegedly attacking his estranged wife for failing to "Like" a status update he posted to Facebook.

Benito Apolinar had posted an update to his Facebook page about the anniversary of his mother's death. Angry that the post had elicited no response from his wife of 15 years, he confronted her after dropping off their children at her home in Carlsbad, New Mexico on Tuesday.

"That's amazing everyone 'Likes' my status but you, you're my wife. You should be the first one to 'Like' my status," he allegedly told her before punching her in the cheek and pulling her hair. He was reportedly under the influence of alcohol at the time.

Apolinar was arrested the same evening of the incident. He is scheduled to appear in court on December 22.
Huh. I wonder why she's estranged?

Grausamkeit 10-10-2011 07:28 AM
You've heard that Doors song, 'People Are Estrange', right? ;)

Someone needs to go punch that punter in the dick!

Mr.Doobie 10-10-2011 09:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grausamkeit (Post 681707)
that Doors song, 'People Are Estrange'
I'm not sure if your typo is purposeful or not...

Versus 10-10-2011 10:17 AM
Well, considering that he was drinking and they've been married a while, I'm sure that he wasn't SO ANGRY about the facebook thing that he decided it was appropriate to assault her. It's more likely that something else had a stronger influence on his decision, kind of like when something is bothering you about someone, but you chose to fight about something else completely irrelevant because of the tension.

And yes, I am trying to legitimize his decision to smack that ho because I'm a thug and that's what we do.

Renatus 10-10-2011 02:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grausamkeit (Post 681707)
You've heard that Doors song, 'People Are Estrange', right? ;)

Someone needs to go punch that punter in the dick!
Why do people seem more and more inclined these days towards punching people in the dick?.... what ever happened to a good old kick in the balls?

Mr.Doobie 10-10-2011 02:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Renatus (Post 681728)
Why do people seem more and more inclined these days towards punching people in the dick?.... what ever happened to a good old kick in the balls?
They're being more humane. You can't exactly feel getting punched in the dick (if you're flaccid), while getting kicked in the balls hurts like hell.

Though how you punch someone in the dick without also punching their balls by proxy is a type of wizards magic I am not familiar with.

Renatus 10-10-2011 02:49 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Doobie (Post 681734)
They're being more humane. You can't exactly feel getting punched in the dick (if you're flaccid), while getting kicked in the balls hurts like hell.

Though how you punch someone in the dick without also punching their balls by proxy is a type of wizards magic I am not familiar with.
Why are we being humane with a wife beater?

Mr.Doobie 10-10-2011 03:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Renatus (Post 681736)
Why are we being humane with a wife beater?
Ask Graus, she's the theoretical dick-puncher in this situation.

I'm just the guy with the Ronald McDonald avatar.

AshleyO 10-10-2011 07:06 PM
Ronald McGoddamn Donald!

Grausamkeit 10-10-2011 07:57 PM
Who said anything about being humane? And that's soooo not true. I used to accidentally smack people in the dick. According to them it hurts like hell.

What I really wanted to suggest was giving him a prostate exam with a barbed-wire wrapped baseball bat. I figured people might not like that.

Versus 10-11-2011 01:31 AM
I find the pee-pee slap to be particularly painful.

CuckooTuli 10-11-2011 03:31 AM
Like Versus said, this isn't about the status. In my experience (small, admittedly - some volunteering and a couple of friends in bad situations), wifebeaters wifebeat because a) they can, and b) right now they feel like it. Everything else is circumstantial. Headline is might as well say, "Man assaults wife for mis-timing Sunday roast" or "Man dropkicks partner for remaining dry-eyed at Dr. Who finale."

Okay... so maybe not EXACTLY like Versus said. :p

Also, dickslapping is all about the angle - it's more refined than dick-punching, but the extra class comes at the cost of the latter's almost certain victory. Get the angle wrong and you just gave that guy a love-tap, instead of a Christmas present made of motherfucking PAIN. When to try for the slap is always a judgment call.

Mr.Doobie 10-11-2011 05:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grausamkeit (Post 681748)
Who said anything about being humane? And that's soooo not true. I used to accidentally smack people in the dick. According to them it hurts like hell.
That's probably because you smacked their balls by proxy.

I say the only real way to test this is to take someone's dick, and lay it down on a table, then smack it. Who wants to volunteer?

Quote:
Ronald McGoddamn Donald!
You're damn straight.

*lights cigarette*

Renatus 10-11-2011 06:34 PM
Meh I'll just stick to kicking, and perhaps even if the opportunity presents itself, stomping.

Versus 10-11-2011 11:30 PM
You are all pussies. Real men donate uppercuts exclusively.

areseanL 10-20-2011 05:46 PM
People are becoming crazier everyday...

† ÐJ Ðårk † 10-22-2011 02:51 PM
Facebook is just a source of assholity. I'm pretty proud of not being there.


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