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Search: Posts Made By: Ben Lahnger
Forum: General 05-05-2011, 02:40 PM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
I don't like the different foods on my plate...

I don't like the different foods on my plate mixing. That's why I have a problem with Swanson TV dinners ... there's always a kernel or two of corn in the mashed potatoes. On the other hand,...
Forum: General 03-29-2011, 03:05 PM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
Nobody here finds your posts shocking. You're...

Nobody here finds your posts shocking. You're going to have to come up with a different way to "be interesting."
Forum: General 03-27-2011, 01:43 PM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
That actually sounds pretty awesome! The sureal...

That actually sounds pretty awesome! The sureal color scheme is okay. Well, if I'm ever shopping for a boobies cake pan, I'll know what to look for (or at least have an idea that I'm going to try to...
Forum: General 03-26-2011, 11:53 PM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
Best. Post. I've. Read. Today. Anywhere....

Best. Post. I've. Read. Today. Anywhere. Lololololo!

Whew! *gasp* ... ah ... ahahahahahahah! Okay, got that out of my system.

Oh, and it should definitely be a two-tone decorating scheme, with...
Forum: General 03-25-2011, 03:01 PM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
Yep ... shaking in my hastily donned hip-waders.

Yep ... shaking in my hastily donned hip-waders.
Forum: General 03-25-2011, 09:02 AM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
Hmm ... you know, I'm not afraid of bats, but I...

Hmm ... you know, I'm not afraid of bats, but I do have an semi-irrational fear of guano.
Forum: General 03-24-2011, 11:37 AM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
What?!? You believe THAT?!?!?! How exactly do...

What?!? You believe THAT?!?!?! How exactly do they come to life, pray tell?

Next you'll tell me marionettes have feelings too!

Bwah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!
Forum: General 03-22-2011, 10:46 PM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
Blood type A+

Blood type A+
Forum: General 03-17-2011, 12:08 PM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
I am amused by how much WIN the internet was full...

I am amused by how much WIN the internet was full of for "chain letters".
Forum: General 03-15-2011, 04:49 PM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
I see word-play everywhere.

I see word-play everywhere.
Forum: General 07-10-2010, 08:13 AM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
I can't stand the sight of maggots wriggling. For...

I can't stand the sight of maggots wriggling. For some reason, if they're dead I'm not bothered that much.
Forum: General 06-13-2010, 10:18 AM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
Bwah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah! I just...

Bwah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!

I just about spit up coffee on my laptop.

Right after that Icelandic volcano erupted spewing ash all over the western European skies and all the reporters here...
Forum: General 06-13-2010, 08:53 AM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
Excellent. I promise to not be gentle.

Excellent. I promise to not be gentle.
Forum: General 06-12-2010, 11:35 PM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
Before we get started, what's your safe word?

Before we get started, what's your safe word?
Forum: General 05-30-2010, 01:37 PM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
I'd rather be financially distressed than morally...

I'd rather be financially distressed than morally bankrupt.
Forum: General 05-30-2010, 09:40 AM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
I am right-handed ... and my vision is a little...

I am right-handed ... and my vision is a little better in my right eye ... and my hearing is a little better in my right ear.

It's a wonder I don't list as I make my way in the world.
Forum: General 05-25-2010, 08:50 AM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
I've never been to Paradise City ... but I have...

I've never been to Paradise City ... but I have been to too-much-fiber city.
Forum: General 05-08-2010, 12:04 PM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
Actually, I was responding to paleghost's meat...

Actually, I was responding to paleghost's meat hook comment, but it's all good.
Forum: General 05-08-2010, 08:31 AM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
Really? I didn't have that kind of shit invade my...

Really? I didn't have that kind of shit invade my dreams until I was about 30, about the time I got married. Coincidence? Who knows, but I suspect it had more to do with the content of books and...
Forum: General 05-07-2010, 08:14 PM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
No, but that old wives tale that says if you die...

No, but that old wives tale that says if you die in your dream then you'll die for real is not true. I've died in my dreams many times. It's an eerie experience to wake up from, though. Once I had a...
Forum: General 05-07-2010, 08:02 PM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
I have nightmares in which a huge iron I-beam...

I have nightmares in which a huge iron I-beam suspended on chains is swung into my cranium, like in Terminator 2. My head does not withstand this the way a terminator's head does.
Forum: General 02-24-2010, 02:47 PM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
I am tired of being careful with my money, and...

I am tired of being careful with my money, and there's no end to it in sight.
Forum: General 02-22-2010, 01:24 PM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
Ewwww. Nothing fuzzy touching my tongue! ...

Ewwww. Nothing fuzzy touching my tongue!

(and there are a few of you reading this that need to get your minds out of the gutter right now!)
Forum: General 02-22-2010, 11:55 AM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
I don't like peaches, because no food should be...

I don't like peaches, because no food should be fuzzy.
Forum: General 02-20-2010, 11:36 AM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
I have never set foot in a casino. This allows me...

I have never set foot in a casino. This allows me to believe that they are wonderful places where people's dreams come true. I have no desire to ever enter one.
Forum: General 02-15-2010, 05:26 PM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
Well, you know what they say: a man who runs in...

Well, you know what they say: a man who runs in front of a car only gets tired, but a man who runs behind a car gets exhausted.
Forum: General 02-14-2010, 06:48 AM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
Wow, Dis, that just seems kinda ... predictable....

Wow, Dis, that just seems kinda ... predictable. Don't stray too far from a bathroom for a while.
Forum: General 02-13-2010, 02:13 PM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
I buy all the music I listen to.

I buy all the music I listen to.
Forum: General 01-31-2010, 12:13 PM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
When I first saw Madonna wearing those pointed...

When I first saw Madonna wearing those pointed cone bras, a voice inside my head kept wanting to crack a bunch of "You'll poke someone's eye out" jokes.
Forum: General 01-26-2010, 12:08 PM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
I've decided that whenever anyone ever tells me,...

I've decided that whenever anyone ever tells me, "You just haven't had it made the right way," I'm just going to tell them "Look, I've lived long enough that I figured I've tried it enough different...
Forum: General 01-21-2010, 09:55 AM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
I haven't had anything by Chef Boyardee in years.

I haven't had anything by Chef Boyardee in years.
Forum: General 11-12-2009, 07:12 AM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
I don't like GG Allin's music, his attitude, his...

I don't like GG Allin's music, his attitude, his public statements, his personna or his dookie play ... but I do like the way he smashes a toilet to pieces.
Forum: General 11-06-2009, 02:08 PM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
Are you the keymaster? I am the gatekeeper! ...

Are you the keymaster? I am the gatekeeper!

Bwah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!
Forum: General 11-05-2009, 10:11 AM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
I am eating too much chocolate.

I am eating too much chocolate.
Forum: General 11-03-2009, 10:46 AM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
I sometimes am direct when people don't want to...

I sometimes am direct when people don't want to hear direct.
Forum: General 11-02-2009, 09:21 AM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
random? I feel like I should be spinning some...

random? I feel like I should be spinning some kind of wheel that has categories and tells me randomly what I must reveal ...

Anyway, I am primarily a pessimist. I am pessimistic about other...
Forum: General 09-27-2009, 05:27 PM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
I was born in the circus capital of the world.

I was born in the circus capital of the world.
Forum: General 09-25-2009, 11:47 PM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
Random fact about me (to jack this thread back...

Random fact about me (to jack this thread back onto topic for a moment):

I came within minutes of dying as a child due to a bee sting.
Forum: General 03-30-2009, 11:30 PM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
I've never had Marmite. I've never even seen...

I've never had Marmite. I've never even seen Marmite. Now that the penguin protector has mentioned it, I'm concerned that it's somehow related to Vegemite!
Forum: General 03-29-2009, 03:14 PM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
I was born in the circus capitol of the world.

I was born in the circus capitol of the world.
Forum: General 03-29-2009, 02:50 AM
Replies: 2,401
Views: 265,491
Posted By Ben Lahnger
I've come extremely close to dying twice in my...

I've come extremely close to dying twice in my life.
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