[OnixxFilth]

Another one just happened to me a few nights ago. My mom's boyfriend Charles was over and had cooked us chicken in plum sauce for supper. Since they were having champagne, I brought out one of my wine coolers for myself and proceeded to drink it with supper. I musta drunk it faster than I thought, because before I knew it I was pretty tipsy (I'm on several medications that make it necessary for me to limit my alcohol intake, so it hits me pretty fast) and was showing my new navel barbell to them. I was like,"See? It's a snowman!" They were both like,"Oh, that's pretty." Then the stupidity began. "Kevin likes to poke me,"I asserted, poking myself in the belly button to show what I mean. Mom turned red, because she was taking it the wrong (sick) way- like poke as in have sex with. Then I assured them that I could hear the bed upstairs- "It squeaks, and it's right above mine! I used to hear..." Charles assured me that he never had sex with Mom up there, and that they just laid there. After they went upstairs, I began to laugh like a loon and collapsed at the bottom of the stairway leading to Mom's room and laid there laughing for about a good five minutes before I got control of myself again and went into the kitchen to wash the dishes. Here's where the plum sauce comes in. I got the bright idea that it'd be fun to throw the plum sauce all over the floor. I ladled up one spoonful, and launched it at the floor. It made such a satisfying SPLAT that I had to do it again. And again. And again. Before I knew it, the floor was covered in plum sauce! I was sure that the dog would lick it up, but before he could get to work, Mom came back downstairs, saw the mess, and asked,"What happened?" I, being the brilliant liar that I am, replied,"It spilled?" She didn't question me, but began to mop it up. Hey, at least she didn't yell at me!