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No tattoos yet, although I plan to get one once I've got some income again.
As piercings go, I'm fairly blah... only got my ears done. Three in one ear, two in the other.
I'd get a nose stud but it'd drive me batshit in cold/flu/allergy seasons, and anything in or around my mouth would annoy the hell out of me. (I can't stand stuff in my mouth that's not supposed to be there; that rules out lips and tongue.) Might get my navel done ar some point, though.
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I can read your mind.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
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