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Originally Posted by Saya
Just made me picture us standing there, shrugging at each other.
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The dumb thing is I actually took out like 3 more shrugs after realizing how much I overuse them. It's a weird-ass bad writing habit... shrug addiction. Pound never wrote an essay on how to avoid that one... some fuckin' literary hero HE turned out to be.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CuckooTuli
I'm not quite sure how seriously to take this. Zombo was all-out balls to wall comedy, but this keeps looking like getting for-real dark before falling back to dick jokes. I'm wondering if it's going to stay caught between the two like this, or eventually veer all the way onto the side of seriousness or absurdity as it progresses? (I'm also wondering if I'll get to fire a rocket launcher, but that's more of a side-issue.)
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Yeah... I'd like to pretend it's a stylistic choice building up to something clever, but the truth is, it's just a tonal inconsistency - the storyline for this is bastardized from something else I'm writing which is way less slapstick than Gnet fanfic, and although none of the dialogue and only some of the storyline is the same, I guess I just keep falling back into a darker tone. In retrospect using that storyline was probably a mistake, as I think there may wind up being so many plot-strands it starts getting hard to follow. I guess I'll see how it goes and if I can simplify it further. Hopefully I'll find my feet and the comedy will start to come more naturally as I settle into it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Versus
I'm kind of in the same boat. Making war funny is very difficult, lately.
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Ahh shit, sorry dude. I did actually wonder if all the war talk might be too much, but I guess the whole soldier thing is such a big part of your online persona here in terms of the way you approach discussions, I thought I might be able to get around it by having you be a "soldier" in the Supernatural/Buffy/insert monster show sense. If it's falling too close to the bone though I'll tone it down - I sure as shit don't want to awaken bad memories over some crappy online fanfic. This is supposed to be entertaining after all, so just slap me upside the head if it starts getting a little too dark in here. I guess I got carried away and forgot there's real shit bound up in all the stuff I'm screwing around with for you. Sorry about that.