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More whining and wallowing. I spent most of the day today trying to get back on that daunting horse and write. I didn't get anything good or anything substantial done. As usual, I feel like a complete failure.
I think, though I cannot be sure, that the main problem is that I can see no prospects. Even if I were to finish writing anything, I'd have nothing to do with it. It would all be for nothing, and that's really scary. I guess I really just wish somebody would for once in my life tell me, "good job", and that's just about the most pathetic thing I know... Oh, how I hate myself right now. I loathe, I vomit, I want to tear my skin off...
Right now, I'm actually kind of in the middle of doing dishes while listening to Evestus. I can't even dance today for the pressure I feel inside my head because of this... this thing that just hangs over me...
Everything sucks...
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