View Single Post
Old 11-24-2011, 06:17 AM   #11
HumanePain
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: the concrete and steel beehive of Southern California
Posts: 7,449
Blog Entries: 4
The problem ultimately begins as is the case with most problems with the Big Bang.

When God designed to create the burrito (after getting an intense case of The Munchies, this idea still hotly debated between Buddhists and Mormons), He, in His infinite wisdom knew that the super hot temperatures of 10+ Gev were too high to allow even His instantaneous creation to last even an attosecond, not to mention the severe case of cheese burn, and thus he planned that after a few hundred thousand years from Time Zero the ultimate properties of quarks and on to leptons and large hadrons would in time lead to the creation of a burrito maker (man) with the time frame such that when the universe cooled to say, 100 degrees Celsius (hot enough to avoid food poisoning, this is where the phrase "Holy Crap!" originated) that then the burrito could be well cooked and yet easy to consume.

Unfortunately, as we all know man was created imperfectly, resulting in a dramatically elongated delay in developing cheese, and even longer for the more complex burrito, missing the temperature gradient by a few hundred degrees, with the result that man accidentally invented the frozen burrito. The Universe at this time, being only 2 and half degrees above absolute zero, was entirely useless as a cooking range, and thus has left man with "the god problem" ever since.

It has been thought that with the Large Hadron Collider the temperature may be raised to temperatures sufficient to reheat the burrito and with duplicating the early universe, enable scientists to "see into the mouth of God", however, the world wide community would not support the Manhattan Project, saying repeatedly "This stuff is made in New York City!" and so it was relocated to Europe, without salsa.

Sources supplied on request.
__________________
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKm_wA-WdI4
Charlie Chaplin The Greatest Speech in History


HumanePain is offline   Reply With Quote