anise - indeed they are - I've often spoken of a cat revolution and the evil cat overlords.. it's okay because I've already bargained by jobs - it's either kitty litter duty, or the patter, when it's moulting season, so I get plenty of cat fur up my nose (which I hate)...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Acharis
Fruityyy!
Ugh, I'm hoping the cat videos are helpful and you get a break now and again. It sounds like heavy going. *hugs*
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Ach - It's been like this for 16 years... Because I'm a functioning PTSD (or a very good actor), I've actually had arguments with so called counsellors who have told me that because my diagnosis was so long ago, that I no longer have it.
for starters, I control my triggers, I control my disassociation, I control every fucking thing about PTSD, about my fear of human contact, about my stress, about my hair falling out (which according to Mr Bat, isn't really happening despite the physical evidence to the contrary) about how I'd really love to just live in a garden for the rest of my life and not have to deal with people and society and all that shit and how I'm surrounded by people who simply just don't get
it, that all this controlling leaves me exhausted, that in reality, I have zero support network, because everything they have going on in their lives is all too hard for them, so it's just me, controlling my anxiety and panic, and getting ever closer to being desperate about that garden of mine - plants are so much less demanding than people, and will often allow you to have a cup of tea, before tending their needs - plus their devas are amazing.
So you see, I'm on my own, occasionally I vent, occasionally I allow myself 15 minutes for a pity party, then I get back on my horse and go out there, my armour blazing and a 'go get fucked' attitude on my shoulders, and my very intimidating laugh that I give all assholes... and I'm back being fruity again.
Fuck, I deserve an academy award