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I guess this *could * go in the fat rolls thread but I want a whine as well so I'm putting it here ,and balls to anyone who moans about it.
I can't seem to get below my current weight of 15 and a half stone. I've fucking plateaued already. I'm doing something wrong somewhere. I keep changing my jogging route, the inclines, speed, surface...
I can't do any classes or anything as the leisure centre in town doesn't open late and by the time I get in from work it'd be time to go out again with no chance to rest.
I'm not going to give up though. I can't.
As I was jogging tonight, I just felt...angry. Really fucking annoyed with myself for getting it wrong again. And I can't be like I am. I've spent my whole life as that fat ugly kid in the corner who no one wanted to speak to in case they also got bullied by pure association.
It never goes away that fat kid. Never. I could be thin as a twiglet and she'd still be there chewing away on a biscuit. And the worst thing is it's my fault. I ate the food so now I'm a huge fat bastard who'll end up looking like a saggy deflated ballon when I'm done.
I'm tired of not being able to touch people, without wanting to crawl the walls and rip my skin off with a cheese grater . I want contact.
I'm tired..sorry.
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