Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Doobie
My girl wanted to try pegging tonight, I couldn't handle it. The moment she started, I was a little third-grader again, my face being pushed into the dirt while that 7th grader ***** me behind the jungle gym. Of course, like a little bitch, I never told anyone because I was scared and confused and I didn't know what had just happened to me. I tried to kill myself by running out into traffic, by cutting my wrists, everyone just thought I was crazy, looking back I probably wasn't trying to die, so much as I was trying to get people to see that SOMETHING WAS WRONG, and when I blew up and threatened to gouge my classmates eyes out with a sharpie marker, they sent me off to some institution because I was crazy and dangerous to the other kids. Yeah, I was crazy. Not the FUCKING BASTARD THAT ***** ME.
I'm rambling, I'm pretty high right now.
But my girlfriend wants to know what's wrong, but I don't want to tell her. I don't want to talk about it with anyone. She knows it happened, along with a couple people, I don't want them to know that it still affects me. This is just stupid, I should just get over it. At least he didn't kill me or something.
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Cha, now I feel like an ass for calling you a dumbass and ignoring you.
The only way to deal with bad shit like that in your past is to talk about it with people you trust. I know how hard it is, but being ***** is not your fault, EVER! You have nothing to be ashamed about. There is no 'just getting over it' you just deal with it and understand that you are not the bad person and there is probably nothing you could have done to prevent it. So don't beat yourself up about it the what ifs or why nots. My husband and I went through hell while I was learning to communicate. It's hard talking about that kind of thing, but the more you do it the easier it gets.