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Cailin DOES seem rather much like he could be gay - it is not an unreasonable assumption.
The "saying yes because it is the king" was kind of implied with Alistair's mother and King Maric, was it not? It must indeed be a dilemma...
Well, yes, the Alistair/Duncan thing is obvious enough as a father/son thing, but I believe that perhaps there could have been more - given time.
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Forget me not, as I do not forget you.
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