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Remember how I was having issues with my Grandparents last year? Well, my SW spoke to them, and everything seemed great.
Until last month.
I was in town with my Grandparents, and started having an anxiety attack to the point where I was crying. My Gran scolded me. Scolded. She told me to "stop acting like such a child". And she said it KNOWING I couldn't do anything about it. Because apparently society hates people who smack elderly women. Oh my poor defensless Grandmother having to put up with me, her evil manipulative Granddaughter who abuses her verbally /sarcasm. My Gran is anything but defenseless. She's fucking Glaswegian and grew up in Clydebank. Where do you think I got my spine from? Her.
But yeah. So I was left standin there gob smacked and feelin even worse than I already was. Which triggered the fucking depression. I locked myself in the public toilets of Spud U Like and stayed in there until I wasn't crying anymore. When I came back, my Gran didn't even bother asking if I was alright.
So safe to say that My Grandparents have not taken in anything my SW has said. Just like I fucking predicted. And what's even worse? They're making me feel like a fuckin burden and oh so subtly remind me that I'm fucking over weight, whicb makes me feel absolutely shit about myself, which makes me eat even more because that's the only thing that makes me feel better because of my God damn serotonin imbalance. And now I'm fucking crying because I don't know what to do and therapy at Stratheden still hasn't started.
I just want my Grandparents to understand and to stop making me want to fucking kill myself.
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