[Alan]

Sorry for taking this long to respond. You're actually a little older than me so you have more world experience, but I can share what I have.
It's natural to feel these things, but it's especially interesting that you're experiencing them way after your teenage years. In that way, you can actually explore this existential angst without the shallow teenage wangst that accompanies so many high schoolers.

Personally, when I began to question things liek the very meaning of life or even the meaning of 'meaning' I logically went towards reading philosophy. I feel it helped me. It doesn't help in a psychological way of making one feel objectively better, but it helps in the sense of seeing just how much people throughout history have struggled with these concepts, and made me think that maybe it's part of human nature itself, and therefore even if it feels bad, its exploration might be good.

I don't know if it will help you solve these questions, but it might help you reformulate them or put them into a new context if you read the very short story by Albert Camus called the Myth of Sisyphus. It starts with these cynic premises you're talking about, but ends by making a quite optimistic conclusion out of them, but I won't ruin it for you.