New Texts From Last Night:
[919]: Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
[408]: worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
[858]: I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
[512]: its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
[443]: I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
[216]: fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Bwah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!
__________________
Lead me not into temptation ... follow me, I know a shortcut!
As the poets have mournfully sung,
death takes the innocent young,
the rolling in money,
the screamingly funny,
and those who are very well hung.
Your days are numbered - 26,280 per person on average - 2,000,000,000 heartbeats ... tick, tick, tick
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