Lol at ninja spam! And VASELINE ON MY SACK
But sorbolene is good, I use that stuff to take off my makeup and moisturise at night (when I remember). The plant based ones are better than the mineral oil ones.
Also put cold wet things on big sore pimples under the skin. (Cold wet cloth, slice of raw potato for 15 minutes..) It reduces the swelling which helps it to start healing. Repeating the compress will also get it to form a head.
For long hair, leave in conditioner is the shiz.