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Cynicism
Perhaps unlike the gothic stereotype, for most of my life I've been fairly happy. Lived 'in my own world', so to speak, and have had a belief in some sort of existence after death. This wasn't an unquestioning belief either; I read plenty in to it, mainly philosophy. I've never been religious, never adhered to any rules or the laws of a book, but I used to feel some sort of connection with most of the people I met and believed that there was something in this connection, this something having the ability to transcend life and death.
Recently, I've started to doubt all of this. I now see death as a brick wall coming quickly towards me and, scarier still, those I love. My mind is completely preoccupied with it now, I can't see 'meaning' in anything (as what is meaning without longevity?), and it's starting to destroy quite a large part of my personality.
There must be plenty of atheists on this forum - please let me know how you deal with this. I don't want replies from people who simply chose not to think about it, to suppress their belief or lack of, but people who have had to actually overcome this problem. Any advice welcome. Thanks in advance.
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