From grief to grief. (poem)

[0_Cothurnatus_0]

From grief to grief.

From grief to grief
Life is a horror film
I count frames
But they are never ending
I’m even glad to see
The banks of Styx
But I’m hot and fast
And far from landing

(с) Cothurnatus (Vasyl Puzanov)., 2008

[Underwater Ophelia]

I enjoyed this, but I do think it could use some work. I really like, "I'm hot and fast/And far from landing," but I think if you replace "and" with "but" it might help the flow.

[0_Cothurnatus_0]

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

I enjoyed this, but I do think it could use some work. I really like, "I'm hot and fast/And far from landing," but I think if you replace "and" with "but" it might help the flow.

I absolutely agree. I'm thinking how to do the replacement without any harm to the melodiousness.

[stompyhank]

I think she meant to change "I'm hot and fast" to "I'm hot but fast". That's what it sounded like to me, anyway.