Combichrist

[badteccy]

Originally Posted by DementedRaven

I like 'em. Lots. I got a combichrist tattoo 3 weeks ago. Isnt that cute? :P:P:P:P

I guess? Personally I think it's rather silly to get band tats, tastes change naaah mean bitches and cream?

[TopHaggardDoll]

Originally Posted by chelseagirl

No, you are completely right. It's just that...I've been married three times, and every time, it's been EXACTLy the same, as far as the way I've been treated. I've gotten to the point where I just think...well...just make the best of things, because even if I get out and start over, it will end exactly the same way. My current mariage is by far better than the previous two, so I'm really trying to stick it out and hope that maybe he loosens up as he gets older or something.

It's better to be single and loving life than being in an unhappy relationship.

[TopHaggardDoll]

Originally Posted by badteccy

I guess? Personally I think it's rather silly to get band tats, tastes change naaah mean bitches and cream?

My Dad got "The Damned" tattooed on his neck when he was a teenager...he's 40 now and still loves them.

As for Combichrist....I used to kind of like them, it was alright. Then they kept playing the same songs by them 3 times a night at Slimelight and DEURGH! I couldn't take it anymore.

No more Combichrist for me. XD!

[maggot]

I would get an Einsturzende tattoo if I could.

It would be part of a sleeve o_o

[LadyLucretia]

Originally Posted by chelseagirl

No, you are completely right. It's just that...I've been married three times, and every time, it's been EXACTLy the same, as far as the way I've been treated. I've gotten to the point where I just think...well...just make the best of things, because even if I get out and start over, it will end exactly the same way. My current mariage is by far better than the previous two, so I'm really trying to stick it out and hope that maybe he loosens up as he gets older or something.

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but it sounds like you have some self esteem issues if you keep picking dominant/abusive mates, and are now justifying it by basically saying "I will never be able to do better than this."

Would your husband let you see a counselor, if you told him it was because you were trying to be a better wife (or some other excuse so that he wouldn't be suspicious)? I think it could help. I think you deserve better and you can definitely get out if you want to; it is never too late to find happiness, third marriage or not.

[Saddiction]

Coming from an abusive childhood, sometimes it's hard for abused women to just get up and walk away from the situation.

[chelseagirl]

He would probably be okay with me going to a counselor. I really don't think I have self esteem issues, but maybe I'm just blind to it. He really is a good husband most of the time, he just hates everything "goth" related. He's not controlling or jealous really in any other aspect, just when I want to do "goth" related things, he thinks it's childish. If I was doing anything else, it'd be a-okay with him, stay out as late as I want, spend the night at a girlfriends place, etc. Thanks for your concern guys. I have actually been considering going to a counselor, as a way of opening him up to coming along eventually. I really think he has bi-polar disorder or something, and I'm hoping to eventually get him to go see someone, and also to see someone about our marriage and stuff.

I do wish I had gone to see Combichrist though. Poo! At least I get to see Turbonegro and Bad Religion in a few weeks.

[chelseagirl]

Originally Posted by DementedRaven

I like 'em. Lots. I got a combichrist tattoo 3 weeks ago. Isnt that cute? :P:P:P:P

I don't think I would EVER get a tattoo of a band's name...or a boyfriend/husband. Damn, now that you got a combichrist tattoo, they're going to break up...it's the tattoo curse, lol!

[DarkGentleman]

chelseagirl, I don't know what to say but the fact that I'm sorry for what you are going through, I would say a whole bunch of things however, it's just not my place to interfere.
I know you would have really enjoyed seeing Combichrist as much I have (and Saddiction of course). I just feel that your husband may have stripped you from your happiness in some way where you NOT "allowed" to enjoy something you want to do or somewhere you want to go. I had a relationship once where this woman wanted me to stop living the goth lifestyle because I was "embarressing her". I never asked her to change for me at all, so why was I asked change? Because I looked different or I listen to goth rock, ebm, and industrial? I thought it wasn't fair, so I asked her that we go our separate ways if she couldn't accept me the way I was. I felt a little heartbroken, but it was worth sacrificing to be happy again. Sometimes I still asked myself "Who was the selfish one there?".
Perhaps your husband is not as open-minded as you thought he was, or I could be wrong.

[LadyLucretia]

Originally Posted by chelseagirl

He would probably be okay with me going to a counselor. I really don't think I have self esteem issues, but maybe I'm just blind to it. He really is a good husband most of the time, he just hates everything "goth" related. He's not controlling or jealous really in any other aspect, just when I want to do "goth" related things, he thinks it's childish. If I was doing anything else, it'd be a-okay with him, stay out as late as I want, spend the night at a girlfriends place, etc. Thanks for your concern guys. I have actually been considering going to a counselor, as a way of opening him up to coming along eventually. I really think he has bi-polar disorder or something, and I'm hoping to eventually get him to go see someone, and also to see someone about our marriage and stuff.

If the goth thing is the only sticking point it seems like something you could work out with a marriage counselor. My thoughts are - he married you as you were, and to expect you to change for him is selfish, as DarkGentlemen mentioned. If he doesn't respect that this is something you enjoy that's important to you, then he's not respecting your right to have individual tastes and preferences.

You could also point out to him that people who got into the scene when it started are all in their 40's now, and many of them are still active in the scene despite having careers, families, etc. If he has a lot of misconceptions about the scene - like that it's all just mopey teenagers, like a lot of people seem to think - then maybe that's why he's so restrictive? It just seems wierd that he's cool with you seeing a punk band, but not an EBM band.