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Old 03-31-2012, 03:06 PM   #7151
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You gotta sit down with your legs and be like "FUCK YOU, BITCH! You work for ME, now!!!!" and when they start to complain you say "Do I need to raise my voice again?! Now take me to the kitchen so I can get my fucking gatorade."
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Old 03-31-2012, 03:09 PM   #7152
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Wait, is gatorade like lucozade? I don't think we have gatorade here...... My legs are bitching me out as I made them walk ten miles yesterday and today I've been doing squats.
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Old 03-31-2012, 10:55 PM   #7153
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I went through a period where I had to decide if I was going to be a cynical bitch or chose a lighter path. I chose the lighter path, although it would have been a shit load easier (and much less of a battle) to be a cynical bitch. Everyday I have to make a concerted effort not to tell the world to fuck the hell off.
I've chosen the lighter path but it still feels so fucking forced.

People think I'm "perky" but it's not so much optimism or enthusiasm as much as making determined attempts to dig myself out.
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Old 04-01-2012, 04:52 AM   #7154
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I've chosen the lighter path but it still feels so fucking forced.

People think I'm "perky" but it's not so much optimism or enthusiasm as much as making determined attempts to dig myself out.
Good on ya Acharis.

It will feel forced for awhile, but hang in there because it will become easier the more you do it. Gradually, it will become less forced, and more natural and you'll reach the point where it just happens.

I tend to fake the 'perky' shit too. Seriously what is it about society and the fact that woman are supposed to act all perky?

What kills me are the "Oh my god, that outfit is just adorable" conversations that some woman fall into. I cannot do those.

And the hugging... What is with that? It's taken me three years to hug one of my girlfriends. She noticed and figured something was up and I only recently told her that because of a shitty ex, who abused me and shit that I have issues with being touched which is a real shame because i enjoy a good hug.

I'm going to get over that one day too. If I keep forcing myself to hug, then I'll get past it, and it will become a habit. Just need to keep it up.
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Old 04-02-2012, 07:15 AM   #7155
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I banged my boob really hard and it hurts like hell.
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Old 04-02-2012, 03:35 PM   #7156
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ARRRRRGGG I HATE SPRING BREAK!!!!!!!!

That is all
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Old 04-02-2012, 06:49 PM   #7157
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I was running some stairs and felt a really off pop yesterday. When I woke up this morning, leg was the size of a balloon and incredibly stiff. There is something very wrong with my knee. Of course, the hospital won't see me unless I'm dieing, and the medics at the clinic think I can wait until fucking Monday to see a doctor without even looking at me.

http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e3...h/62715dc9.jpg

And ideas? I'm guessing I have a lot of fluid on it because I see that kind of injury pretty commonly, but I don't know how, why, or if that's even close.
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Old 04-03-2012, 03:00 AM   #7158
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Versus - start limping really badly and overplay the pain, that usually helps with seeing doctors quickly.

What happens when you press into it? Does it feel like there is fluid under the skin?
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Old 04-03-2012, 05:42 PM   #7159
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People get way too emotional about a fucking swimming pool and everyone currently seems to be a fan of "I know it isn't your fault but <insert really long, atrocious rant about how awful I am>"
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Old 04-03-2012, 06:42 PM   #7160
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Versus - start limping really badly and overplay the pain, that usually helps with seeing doctors quickly.

What happens when you press into it? Does it feel like there is fluid under the skin?
I'm pretty sure it's a PCL tear. It might be my ACL, but I can't verify because those injuries usually swell with fluid within minutes, and I hadn't noticed until a few hours later.
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Old 04-03-2012, 08:58 PM   #7161
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I'm pretty sure it's a PCL tear. It might be my ACL, but I can't verify because those injuries usually swell with fluid within minutes, and I hadn't noticed until a few hours later.
Fuck!

Is your knee stable? Would bandaging it help?

Sorry to hear that dude.
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Old 04-03-2012, 09:09 PM   #7162
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People get way too emotional about a fucking swimming pool and everyone currently seems to be a fan of "I know it isn't your fault but <insert really long, atrocious rant about how awful I am>"
It's their way of not taking responsibility for what they're saying. That way if you get on their case for what they said, they can say "I said I know it's not your fault". Sort of like apologizing while not actually repenting "I'm sorry but it's not my fault I choose to do this"(a bit of an exaggerated example but it's for a purpose).
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Old 04-04-2012, 07:55 AM   #7163
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^ Jesus, Versus. That looks terrible. I hope your leg doesn't explode or something.

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And the hugging... What is with that? It's taken me three years to hug one of my girlfriends. She noticed and figured something was up and I only recently told her that because of a shitty ex, who abused me and shit that I have issues with being touched which is a real shame because i enjoy a good hug.

I'm going to get over that one day too. If I keep forcing myself to hug, then I'll get past it, and it will become a habit. Just need to keep it up.
D: I'd hug you if I thought it wouldn't weird you out.
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Old 04-04-2012, 08:01 AM   #7164
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My computer crashed when I have two papers due tomorrow, and now all my work is gone and I had to install another operating system D:
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Old 04-04-2012, 09:27 AM   #7165
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Those oh so tasty eggs I ate yesterday have given me food poisoning. Joy.
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Old 04-04-2012, 05:18 PM   #7166
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My computer crashed when I have two papers due tomorrow, and now all my work is gone and I had to install another operating system D:
I've always been afraid of that happening. Is any part of your papers backed up? :/
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Old 04-04-2012, 06:42 PM   #7167
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I've always been afraid of that happening. Is any part of your papers backed up? :/
Noooope, but I haven't been on my online course in a bit, apparently we got an extension til midnight on the 7th, thank GAWD. The other paper is a four page essay on Vietnam vets and the rewriting of the Vietnam War, so I think I'm good.
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Old 04-05-2012, 02:25 AM   #7168
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^ Jesus, Versus. That looks terrible. I hope your leg doesn't explode or something.



D: I'd hug you if I thought it wouldn't weird you out.
Awww... thanks... I can hug when I don't think about it and the other person initiates the hug, but if it's one of those awkward do we hug or not then I don't tend to.

I did once have a male friend hug me, and hold onto me once, I freaked out (but that was about 10 years ago and I haven't been game to try it since.
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Old 04-06-2012, 01:37 AM   #7169
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Versus, DUDE. I think it is your cruciate ligament.. if they won't let you see a doctor til Monday I'd do all the Rest Ice Compression Elevation shit. Also Voltaren is a cream that has aspirin like chemicals that sink in through your skin.

If someone tries to make you walk on that in the meantime - administer uppercuts.


Thanks Fruitbat.
I'm getting better, the "perky" act is still a bit awkward but nobody would know. I'm starting to enjoy the company of my new friends, just have days sometimes where I'm either really fragile or want to punch someone in the face. Feels fake to suppress that, but everything works much better for me if I do the socially acceptable nice face.

Still learning how to act like other women and slowly making progress... sometimes I wonder if I'm in the right gender!

I'm much better with hugs, they freaked me a bit at first but I'm more used to them since I started going to goth clubs. Everyone there hugs casually and often so it's no longer so out of left-field or suspect. (Well, usually. Still a few people I watch.)




Saya, have you tried Knoppix?

If you don't have a second computer capable of taking two drives that you're willing to fiddle with (neither do I) there's the Linux live cd option. http://www.ehow.com/how_4544795_reco...ard-drive.html

I might have to try that myself... Still new to this stuff lol. I replaced my crashed hard drive with a new one from CPL and have already installed Mint so I now just have to learn how to use Linux and see what I can do. www.linuxmint.com/edition.php?id=94
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Old 04-06-2012, 01:54 AM   #7170
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Versus, DUDE. I think it is your cruciate ligament.. if they won't let you see a doctor til Monday I'd do all the Rest Ice Compression Elevation shit. Also Voltaren is a cream that has aspirin like chemicals that sink in through your skin.

If someone tries to make you walk on that in the meantime - administer uppercuts.
Honestly, I'll be alright. It hasn't really started hurting until today, and even then, it's a pain very easy to deal with and manage. I'm kind of weird because I HATE taking medicine.

Also; You pump me up.
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Couldn't rest, nah nigga I was stressed
Had me creepin' 'round corners, homie sleepin' in my vest.


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Old 04-06-2012, 03:47 AM   #7171
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Well fuck me, the sun is rising and I'm not asleep yet. I hate sleeping pills but at this point I think its that or no sleep, and I've already had way too little sleep these last few days. If I'm all weird tomorrow I blame the pills.
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Old 04-06-2012, 11:47 PM   #7172
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I had a deep and meaningful discussion with my mother in law. Told her some of the things from my past.... Fuck, now it's going to be on the grapevine. Last thing I want is for everyone to know about the marital *ape and my ex punching a hole through the windscreen of the car with his bare fist.

fuck I'm so stupid sometimes.... The only reason I told her is that Mrbat is really worried about me at the moment.. I mean what the fuck? Why start caring now... or is it just caring because he's now figuring it all out... OMFT

Oh and I'm so full of caffiene I'm buzzing...about to flip out buzzing I think. It's like I'm a labrador at a tennis ball convention and someone has just released a truckload of balls and I don't know which one to chase...
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Old 04-08-2012, 01:01 AM   #7173
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I don't want to go to bed because when I wake up I'll have to go back to work. I'm really not looking forward to starting Spring Break II with a 10 hour day. Logically I know that the time I go to bed is irrelevant to the time when I have to get up and get ready for work, I also know that being sleep deprived will only make the day worse, doesn't matter, I'm still putting off sleep because it feels like I'm putting off facing tomorrow.
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Old 04-09-2012, 04:17 AM   #7174
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I'm not coming back from this one...
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Old 04-10-2012, 06:52 AM   #7175
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I hurt someone's feelers today.
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Had me creepin' 'round corners, homie sleepin' in my vest.


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