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Literature Please come visit. People get upset, write poetry about it, and post it here. Sometimes we also talk about books.

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Old 01-10-2009, 12:56 PM   #1
mindless1
 
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Little Sister

Little Sister

This is a work in progress, and any suggestions are welcome. If you have constructive criticism that is welcome....

There had to have been a pivotal moment when the haunting had really started to manifest. Although, Sheryl could not remember when it had all begun. Sheryl was at twenty years of age, young and depressed by most things that manifested in her bedroom. There was Todd, the cruddy Landlord who offered her next month's rent if she'd give him a blow job. Then there was the occasional damsel in distress- her next door neighbor Jamie would come home from a late shift at work and plop down on her bed, she'd make her way through the sheets with her soft kisses and perfumed sex. Sheryl didn't think of herself as a slut, but she loved the comfort of having a warm body lie next to her...even if it was a lesbian from across the hall.


That pivotal moment was there, somewhere beside Mimi's decision to paint a mural all along the bathroom walls of Sheryl's place of religious refuge, where she could actually be in peace with herself, now painted with black and white butterflies, curly roses, and daises. 'How cute!' The mentally retarded Mimi had exclaimed when Sheryl came home from the recording studio, her music was a blend of misery mixed with Trip-Hop and Dance. Sheryl's band was called 'The Laughing Saints' and it had really begun to make its way through the city of Los Angeles. 'Mimi, this time I think you've made an artist!' Sheryl mocked Mimi, then made her way to the bedroom slamming the door shut behind her to meet the gaze of her not-lover Jamie, 'Hey gurl!' She laughed giggling between those pearls of white. 'Come make sweet love to me!'

'SHIT!'

And that must have been the pivotal moment, when Sheryl realized that her life was nothing more than a lesbian band, The Laughing Saints....nothing but a bisexual band and random customers of the opposite sex that wouldn't give a shit unless she'd stuffed a cd in their pocket once they left her apartment.


'Christ Sheryl, What's gotten into you?' Sheryl was panting and pacing the bedroom, her blond hair flipping back and forth with the force of her movement, muttering to herself ' I don't want to do this, I dun want to do this, I dun want to do....'

'What's gotten into me?!' She snapped so harshly that Jamie winced back. Sheryl's pacing shortened into half steps then she curled down into fetal position at the foot of the bed, and began to moan and sob at once. That must have been when something snapped- and the evil came in, entered her world and made it oh so more the enjoyable!!

'Get out.' Sheryl screamed between sobs.

Jamie smiled, 'You really are a sociopath- just like everyone has said.'

'Get Out!' Sheryl snapped, then began laughing, 'You think I'm a sociopath, you don't know the first thing about me, I could be a killer for all you know'


She said it in the flattest coolest voice, and Jamie rushed out of her room in one instant. 'Look at the pretty colors!" Mimi whispered and Jamie said to Mimi, 'Yeah, Mimi, pretty fucking beautiful.' Jamie was in tears as she stormed out of the apartment and into hers, packed her bags, and left to move in with her brother Thomas.

Life had crashed all around her, but Sheryl didn't care because Sheryl believed she really didn't have much left after that moment. Mimi could play the drums but she couldn't sing, Jami was the lead vocalist and now she was gone to her brother's place.


Now Sheryl was alone, sitting on the floor of her bedroom sobbing, when she began to get the funniest prickling upon the back of her neck, when she looked up she saw a slight shadow from the corner of her eye, slide across the room. 'Mom, Mummy' she thought she heard, but not coming from the shadow in the room, from somewhere she couldn't pinpoint. She got to her feet, and walked to the window, looking down she could see Jamie with her suitecase, already strutting down the street towards the metro station.

'Heee hee hee! Mummy'

'huh, what was that?" she stuttered, beginning to feel a slight cold creeping about her skin.

'I'm Emily, who are you?"

Sheryl's eyes got wide, and she walked out the door and slammed it shut behind her, 'Stop messing with me, Mimi' it sure enough sounded like Mimi. She walked towards the bathroom where Mimi had been sitting on the floor coloring more of her mural, and just as she got to the door the fowles smell.

Sheryl's heart leapt, she opened the door then recoiled in shock. Mimi was covered in thin red marks, all over her face, neck, arms, and legs laying in the shower as if she'd passed out. Sheryl screamed and then walked towards to shower,

'Eat me' came a deep growl.

'I'm so Hungry'

A voice, it was a voice.... a man's voice coming from the shower...but the space was too small for anyone to be hiding in the shower with Mimi, and Mimi looked up at Sheryl's eyes, she started moaning...and then screaming.

'OH MY GOD! Oh my god oh my god oh my god.' Sheryl yelled and grabbed Mimi then pulled her out of the bathroom.

'I was coloring.'

Mimi laughed to herself all the way to the Emergency Room.
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Old 02-09-2009, 12:24 AM   #2
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it was good read
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Old 02-16-2009, 01:13 AM   #3
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I suggest that you not be like every single other person in the world and name your little ghost girl Emily. Pick something else.
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Old 02-16-2009, 06:51 AM   #4
Man In Room 5
 
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I was going to say that it reads like fan-fic but then I reconsidered and realized just about everything on Gnet--and online in general--reads like fan-fic.

Which made me wonder.....Are we, as readers, biased against online fiction merely because it appears online?

I wonder because I want to say this piece is inferior, yet I can't pinpoint why or offer any advice and I wonder if I was biased against it merely because it appeared on a forum.
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