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Old 07-11-2008, 05:48 PM   #5976
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Whoa! Honeythorn! What the hell happened?
Laid off again from work?
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Old 07-11-2008, 05:57 PM   #5977
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Yes twice in one month, but that is not the sole reason.
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Old 07-11-2008, 11:43 PM   #5978
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I'm just stupid. Fuck.
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Old 07-12-2008, 02:15 AM   #5979
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ARG!!!!! Stupid hospitals are SO boring and evil nurses with their pokey needles are trying to make me look like a blueberry muffin. Plus, I'm pretty darn positive that fluid is supposed to go from the IV into my vein, not the other way around!
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Old 07-12-2008, 02:16 AM   #5980
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Quote:
Originally Posted by honeythorn
Yes twice in one month, but that is not the sole reason.
Uh oh! What's wrong?
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At some point, you need to look yourself in the mirror and realize that what other people did to you does not define you as a person. You and your actions define who you are as a person. It's up to you to be a good person, in spite of all the evil you've faced. In fact, it should be because of the evil you see that it's good you do. Be the change you want in the world. Next time someone tells me that they're an asshole because they've had a bad life, I'm stabbing them in the eye with a spork.
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Old 07-12-2008, 02:38 AM   #5981
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Originally Posted by badteccy
Why can't people get it? I DO NOT CARE about being sexually attractive to the opposite sex, I DO NOT CARE about getting laid! Also, many pictures of mine are silly and do not flatter me, I like to laugh at myself, and I like my occasional crazy outfit and crazy makeup. Why would I ever care about being "hot"? I have a shit ton of awesome friends, I do well in school, I'm not an idiot...and I'm also physically acceptable, just not hot. I DO NOT CARE!
I don't want to nullify your speech, it was cool and everything, but which blind guy gave you the impression that you're not hot?
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Old 07-12-2008, 06:47 AM   #5982
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I just got paid and Border's Books just sent me a coupon for 40% off any CD (limit 3). So, I went today and picked up 3 of the cheapest CDs they had out of the ones I wanted. They were:

The Cure--Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me
The Velvet Underground--The Velvet Underground and Nico (the famous banana cover)
The Talking Heads--Talking Heads '77

I got all 3 for about $7 each and they will replace the crappy downloaded copies I've had until now. So, when the feds raid my house I'll only have 197 pirate CDs instead of the 200 I had before today and I'll only be fined $9850000 instead of $10000000.
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Old 07-12-2008, 10:20 AM   #5983
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I'm just stupid. Fuck.
Oh? How so? I've never seen any suggestion of stupidity in any of your posts.
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Old 07-12-2008, 10:39 AM   #5984
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Oh? How so? I've never seen any suggestion of stupidity in any of your posts.
That's because I actually have time to comtemplate my posts before posting them. Whereas in 'real life,' I do things without thinking, or, in this case, I don't do things that I should when I AM thinking of doing them. Hmph.
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Old 07-12-2008, 11:36 AM   #5985
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You are indeed very stupid! :P
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Old 07-13-2008, 01:19 AM   #5986
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Rant part 1 (it is appearently too long for one post)

Okay so I really just kind of wanted to let this go but it is still kind of pissing me off. I have been in a bit of an off mood for the better part of two weeks and I think a good part of that is that I haven't really had the chance to get out of the apartment for anything resembling fun (note: grocery shopping and job hunting do not count as fun) so I was really excited when one of Jake's friends from work switched shifts with him so that Jake had Friday off (as in this most recent Friday). I found this out on Monday so I wanted to take Jake out for a nice dinner. He said that it sounded like fun and seemed genuinely excited. Since he is a picky eater I asked him where he wanted to go and he said that it was up to me so I picked this really nice fondue place and asked if he thought that it would be okay and he said that he would look at the menu when he got a chance but that he thought it would be fine (he was working at the time so he had to wait a bit to look). Next day he said that it looked good so I thought everything was settled and we were good to go and I was getting really excited because when we do end up going out it is mostly to casual places and this is a bit more upscale, which was really the main reason why I picked it in the first place. Then Friday afternoon he decides that he would rather go somewhere else, there aren't any other upscale places in the area that either A) require a reservation more than a few hours before hand and/or B) cost a fucking arm and a leg, so I was a bit miffed but whatever we decide to go to a nice, but more laid back, teppanyaki (a Japanese style of cooking where a group of people sit at a table around a cook top and the chef prepares the food in front of you) place (it was also a tid bit more expensive but not out of my price range) and then to go to the fondue place after to get some chocolate fondue for dessert (the restaurants are about 20 ft from one another so I figured that this was a convenient way for us to both get what we wanted).

So everything was figured out and I told Jake that I waned to leave by 6:30 at the latest and he said "okay." Well 4:30 rolls around and I mention that he may want to hop in the shower soon and I mention that it would be nice for him to shave (he is part Cherokee and as such his facial hair is kind of patch and there is no way for it to look well groomed unless he shaves it off). He bitches about having to shave, he even went so far as to say "You don't shave, so why should I have to?” (referring to my nether regions, which I do take care to keep neatly trimmed) I wanted to kick him in the teeth, but instead I let it go and said that it was only a suggestion. Whatever, moving on. Another hour passes and he is still sitting on the couch, not yet showered, and clearly needing to (not that he smelled but he has oily hair and it looked kind of nasty), so I once again mentioned that he should hit the shower if we wanted to leave on time. He said that there was plenty of time left at which point I showed him the obvious flaw in that time plan, that being that he told me he was going to shower soon so I did not take advantage of the open bathroom to shave my legs, do my hair, and put on makeup, and that this combined takes more than ten minutes (mind you I was a bit frustrated but I was careful to word this nicely). So looking like a boy who had been sent to his room by his mother he went and showered. 45 minutes later he emerges from the shower, he took a while, but whatever we don't have reservations so the only harm done is that I'm a bit on the hungry side. He did shave and I made sure to thank him for doing so and told him how nicely it looked. 20 minutes I emerged from the bedroom, smooth legs, polished hair and makeup, dressed, and accessorized. I was impressed with how little time it took me, Jake was not and told me so, made me feel great, really. I asked him if my hair looked okay (I had just gotten it cut and the girl took off a bit too much and cut the bangs really bluntly, which does not flatter my fact at all so it was a bit of work to make it look good, and I really wanted to look good for him), his response "It looks like hair." Yay, now I feel pretty . (Honestly I tried fucking hard to look good, for him, and to give me a boost of confidence that he knows I could really use right now, but not one single complement came out of his mouth, not right then and not for the rest of the night)

At this point I ask if something is wrong, or if he just isn't in the mood to go out tonight, and if he would rather do something low key like staying in and watching a movie. He assured me that he wanted to go out and he was sorry if he didn't seem excited, he was just hungry, that he didn't mean to lash out at me, and that he would feel better once we got to the restaurant. So we get in his car and go.

We sit down at the table and things do improve. We were seated with a very nice family, who actually had quite well behaved children, and the chef was very friendly and amusing. While things were better I wouldn't exactly say that they were great, we didn't really talk to each other (I tried but conversation went nowhere, so I ended up talking mostly to the woman seated next to me) and while both the chef (saying to Jake that he was lucky to have such a pretty girlfriend) and the woman (saying that I had exquisite blue eyes) next to me complemented my appearance Jake did not, oh well at least now I at least have a little boost of confidence and feel pretty. At the end of the meal Jake and I both have some leftovers and decide to get one box and put our food in together (note: this will be important later), I have a good bit more left than he does but figure that later we will reheat it and split it 50/50. I pay, we leave.
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Old 07-13-2008, 01:19 AM   #5987
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Rant continued

We put the leftovers in the car and then walk over to the Melting Pot. We walk in and ask to be seated for dessert and we get a nice booth by a window, in a corner so it was nice and quiet. The waitress comes and takes out drink order, I get one of their specialty desert cocktails (which was absolutely fantastic, not to mention quite pretty), Jake orders a Captain and Coke (in my mind not really the best complement to dessert but whatever), and we both get ice waters (when we were carded the girl comments that my short hair really makes my eyes stand out, now I feel extra pretty). Waitress leaves and Jake starts to complain about A) a funny smell (some of the spices from the dinner fondue at the table behind me) and B) that the music sucked (it was jazz softly playing in the background). I get up and use the lady's room. When I get back Jake asked what took me so long, I explain that one of the servers had stopped me to ask where I got my dress because she really loved it, the only response to which was a raised eyebrow, as if I wasn't wearing anything worth mentioning. Great, now I'm back to feeling as though I look like absolute crap, thanks babe. Our waitress arrives with our drinks and dessert, which all looks lovely. Now Jake begins to complain that his drink tastes funny, like it was made with regular rum, not spiced rum. I taste it, seems fine to me but suggest that if he doesn't like it that he either ask for a new one or oder something else. He doesn't want to be a bother...so he just keeps periodically complaining to me about it. The waitress come by to make sure that everything is okay, my mouth is preoccupied with a chocolate covered marshmallow so I say nothing, Jake says that everything is great. Whatever, he can drink his "icky" drink or his ice water, I am enjoying the chocolaty goodness. We have kind of each been eating half of each thing (there were banana slices, which were all his cuz I don't like banana, strawberry halves, bite sized brownies, bite sized rice crispy squares, bite sized pound cake, cinnamon coated marshmallows, oreo crumb coated marshmallows, and a small slice of cheesecake, which I knew was mine because Jake has mentioned many times that cheese should not come in cake form, topped with one cherry, which I promptly claimed as my own since I love cherries, it was on my cheesecake, and hey I'm paying I should get the one little extra thingy). Well as we are almost done I notice that Jake's marshmallows are still on the plate, I ask if he is full, his reply: a snide "I don't like marshmallows." I apologize and say that if I had known I would have let him have some of my pound cake and/or brownie bites. To which he replied with a sarcastic "Mmhm" and an eye roll. Great now, not only do I feel less than pretty I also feel like a little piggy, once again thanks babe. I finish the cheesecake all the while Jake is still complaining about the smell, the music, and his drink, so now I just want to leave. Once I pay we go, with about 1/4th of my yummy drink still in the glass.

At this point I am pissed. At least now he picks up that I am less than happy and asks why. I hold back from screaming a long rant at him and instead simply say that the night wasn't as enjoyable as I had hoped it would be and that it isn't something that we will be doing again any time soon as he clearly did not enjoy himself. Now he starts apologizing saying that he had a headache all night (really would have been nice to know before I spent a bunch of money), and that he doesn't like jazz and that whatever was causing the smell really got to him (hey I asked if you wanted to see if another table was available but you said that it wasn't that bad) but that he did like the place and wouldn't mind coming back at another time and that it was just bad timing (we had been there once before and they were playing music that he didn't mind) but he also mentioned that it wasn't really his cup of tea. I said that it was fine, and added that maybe I would ask his friend Lenny to go with me sometime because I know that he loves jazz and really likes going out to nice restaurants but doesn't usually have anybody to go with. To this Jake got really defensive, as if me doing something with another guy meant that he was a terrible boyfriend (which is really, really odd as he is not the jealous type and he has been encouraging me to spend time with Lenny because the two of them have become really close friends but I don't know him very well). I tell him that I didn't mean anything by it and that if it bothered him then I wouldn't. Whatever now I just want to get back to the apartment and am glad that both of our roommates are currently staying at their parents' houses.

We get back and the first thing that I do is change, I sure as hell don't feel pretty so fuck the dress and the heels. Once again Jake asks if I am okay and I say "No, I'll be fine I am just not happy about how the date went." I plop down on the couch, Jake sits on the far side of the couch, and we watch some crappy tv, neither of us really saying anything except for him occasionally apologizing and/or making excuses for why he complained, not getting that for me the worst part was that my self esteem was as low as it had been in quite some time, not because of his attitude towards the date but because after putting forth a good bit of effort to look my best the closes thing to a compliment that I had gotten from him all night was that my hair looked like hair, not exactly high praise (although I did get a total of four compliments from complete strangers).

He dose genuinely feel bad that I am unhappy and asks if I would like a shoulder massage (knowing that I have issues with my upper back and shoulders, and that when I get stressed a lot of tension builds up there). After the massage I do feel a lot better and I am ready to try an salvage the night. We cuddle for a bit on the couch and then move to the bedroom. About 45 minutes and a good bit of fun later we come out of the bedroom to watch a movie. Before the movie starts Jake decides to reheat leftovers and asks if I want any, I tell him that I'm not hungry. About 15 minutes into the movie the smell of the food has made me hungry and I ask him to pause the dvd so that I can reheat the rest of the leftovers. He pauses mid chew, swallows, then says "oh I thought that you didn't want any." I didn't exactly make a happy face. I had put about half of my meal in that box, I damn sure wanted it. He offers me what is left in his bowl, only one piece of my steak left, none of my scallops (even though he doesn't really like scallops), none of his chicken, none of his steak (we had gotten different cuts of meat), and none of his shrimp, really it was just a bunch of fried rice, not exactly the meal that I was looking forward to. He apologized, once again, saying that he was sorry that he had misunderstood what I had meant (how does "I'm not hungry" translate into "I don't want any of my leftovers"?). I'm upset but I really don't want to get into a fight so I just let it go and turn my attention to the movie and try to move on.

I know that there really isn't anything that can be gained by bringing this up with Jake, and I'm sure that he thinks that everything is hunky-dory but the truth is that I am still pissed, I did end up paying over $100 on a night out that I didn't even get to enjoy, despite great food and service, and he hasn't done much to make it up to me, five minute back rub =/= $100 (not that he knows how much I paid but he at least has an idea, he did see the menus after all). Not to mention that even though almost everyone around me has complemented me on my appearance I don't really feel attractive because I'm starting to think that my boyfriend doesn't think that I'm pretty. New eye shadow technique that everyone says really brings out my eyes, his reaction: "oh I didn't notice", my new hair cut and new hair color, not a word about them (other than that my hair looks like hair), I've been working out three times a week for the better part of four weeks, I am noticeably more toned and have dropped a pant size, you guessed it, he didn't notice, and when I mentioned how proud of myself I was for actually keeping it up and how happy I was that I as really seeing results his reaction was "Really? Hm...I didn't notice."

I don't know if there is something wrong with him, if he feels like now that we have moved in together he doesn't really have to try, or if he just assumes that I don't need any validation from him that I am in fact still attractive (or maybe he just doesn't get that sex doesn't count as validation, especially when he only wants to have it once a week or so). I just wish that I could simply talk with him about this but as soon as I get the first sentence out he just starts apologizing. I guess he thinks that what I want to talk about will result in a fight and apologizing is his way of avoiding a fight.

*Sorry that got so long, when I started I thought it was going to be a short post, guess it was bothering me more than I thought.
**Also sorry if I have been a bit of an attention whore on here, sometimes I get like that when I feel less than great about myself but I generally don't notice when I'm doing it.
***Know that Jake is not a bad boyfriend just a bit of unhappiness in what is, for the most part, a very happy relationship.
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Old 07-13-2008, 01:21 AM   #5988
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Woooo that was a lot of typing, but I do feel a tiny better now
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Old 07-13-2008, 01:25 AM   #5989
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WOW! Way to pull a Charles Dickens! :P
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..."
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Old 07-13-2008, 01:26 AM   #5990
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MY FRIENDS ARE IN N.Y.C. RIGHT NOW, and I am stuck at home because I couldn't afford tickets.
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Old 07-14-2008, 12:25 PM   #5991
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Maybe I'm over-worrying, but my younger sister was supposed to return home at three and it's around eight PM. She went to work around eight in the morning without speaking to anyone, as we were asleep and at one she had planned to go swimming. She doesn't have a mobile phone and she normally calls through the phone at her work, or from a friends, but she hasn't.

It's not like this is the first time she's done this without it resulting in some harm to her...I just don't like this at all...
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Old 07-15-2008, 08:40 AM   #5992
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I just gained 4 pounds....
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Old 07-15-2008, 09:06 AM   #5993
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My fears of my sister were overhyped. She strolled home at about 10.

I'm getting really stressed. I'm supposed to practice drawing and painting everyday, but I can't seem to manage it. It's not that I'm not trying, but it's just that everytime I do make an attempt, it goes horribly wrong and continues to do so whenever I have a second, third, fourth etc. go at it.

I did a sketch of a shoe this morning and it seemed like it was going well on my third try. I looked at it after a few hours, it was out of proportion and shaded in terribly.

This whole thing is irritating me so much I'm losing sleep. I don't know what to do.
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Old 07-15-2008, 09:19 AM   #5994
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Quote:
Originally Posted by She_Is_My_Sin
My fears of my sister were overhyped. She strolled home at about 10.

I'm getting really stressed. I'm supposed to practice drawing and painting everyday, but I can't seem to manage it. It's not that I'm not trying, but it's just that everytime I do make an attempt, it goes horribly wrong and continues to do so whenever I have a second, third, fourth etc. go at it.

I did a sketch of a shoe this morning and it seemed like it was going well on my third try. I looked at it after a few hours, it was out of proportion and shaded in terribly.

This whole thing is irritating me so much I'm losing sleep. I don't know what to do.
I'm glad to hear your sister made it home alright.

Try taking a break for a while. Sometimes over-practicing drives you nuts. Take a break, breathe deep, and go back to it later. See what comes of it.
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Old 07-15-2008, 07:32 PM   #5995
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I worry too much and now my stomach hurts.
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Old 07-17-2008, 09:03 AM   #5996
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Quote:
Originally Posted by She_Is_My_Sin
I'm getting really stressed. I'm supposed to practice drawing and painting everyday, but I can't seem to manage it. It's not that I'm not trying, but it's just that everytime I do make an attempt, it goes horribly wrong and continues to do so whenever I have a second, third, fourth etc. go at it.

I did a sketch of a shoe this morning and it seemed like it was going well on my third try. I looked at it after a few hours, it was out of proportion and shaded in terribly.

This whole thing is irritating me so much I'm losing sleep. I don't know what to do.
Drawing block sucks, but don't force it. Take a nap, do something stupid, do something completely unartistic for half a day or a day, and then try again, but don't beat yourself up if it doesn't turn out right.
I find that spacing out helps, too.

Keep your sketchbook close incase you have an artistic emergency
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Old 07-17-2008, 12:31 PM   #5997
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That's sound advice LaBelleDameSansMerci. I'm going to go on a trek tomorrow through a few fields and take some photos. Hopefully that will start something.
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Old 07-17-2008, 01:55 PM   #5998
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I couldn't go to the Batcave and see the original line-ups for Specimen and Sex Gang Children with my girlfriend.
Instead I got fucking arrested.
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Old 07-17-2008, 02:03 PM   #5999
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Arrested? How and why?
(also, I couldn't make it thanks to NO FUCKING MONEY and having promises to keep that were made long before I was aware of the one off Batcave)
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Old 07-17-2008, 02:11 PM   #6000
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It wasn't anything amazing. Me and a couple of my friends were drunk and we were going through our old school. One of my friends tried to lift a door to the hall and it popped open and we went inside to look around.
As we were leaving the school we got chased by police and eventually got caught hiding. There was about 8 of them and they had seperate vans for us all.
They tried to get us for burglary and theft. Police are useless bastards
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