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Old 08-20-2014, 12:23 PM   #8626
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Wanna lose me as a friend? Threaten to "do something crazy" when it looks like you're not going to get what you want. No thank you, enough anxiety and depression to go around without manipulative dick-face bullshit actively triggering it. *twitch-twitch* Kindly call this hotline if you need help, I am not equipped.
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Old 09-26-2014, 02:00 AM   #8627
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Heading the doctor's tomorrow in the morning. Again. Not really trying to get into details but my body seems to have acquired the habit of creating a new problem every time the one before that has been solved. I can never get a break. I've spent these past few years fearing whatever horrifying changes may be around the corner as these things seem to typically manifest. I'm at the point where I can no longer fear. This torment has just gone on long enough that I've become completely apathetic.

No more depression. No more tears. Just fuck it all. I've been past the breaking point. Whatever new problem can come, these days I feel like "gee, what a fucking surprise" in the most apathetic, sarcastic way possible. Hey, beats getting super anxious and paranoid as usual. I'm past the point of pain and care. Currently floating on the waters of apathy. May just end up on the shores of nihilism. Oh god... I feel a poetry-chic coming on.
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Old 09-28-2014, 04:11 PM   #8628
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Well I'm still suffering from a lot of bad memories from what my ex boyfriend did to me, I wish he was out of my mind but he still continues to haunt my mind. Everyone tells me to simply get over it but it's not that easy to get over it. Tomorrow I'm going to see my therapist and to be honest I'm glad that I'll be able to talk about it cause I can't talk to anyone about it without them getting tired of hearing about it which I can't blame them. Not many people want to hear about people's problems all the time, so I can't blame them.

I wish I wasn't depressed but I still am, I wish I had friends but I'm a loner and I wish people would like me but a lot of people always tell me that I'm weird or that I'm hard to understand. Sometimes I wish I could disappear or go somewhere else where nobody knew who I was.
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Old 10-15-2014, 12:24 PM   #8629
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheLonelyGhost View Post
Well I'm still suffering from a lot of bad memories from what my ex boyfriend did to me, I wish he was out of my mind but he still continues to haunt my mind. Everyone tells me to simply get over it but it's not that easy to get over it. Tomorrow I'm going to see my therapist and to be honest I'm glad that I'll be able to talk about it cause I can't talk to anyone about it without them getting tired of hearing about it which I can't blame them. Not many people want to hear about people's problems all the time, so I can't blame them.

I wish I wasn't depressed but I still am, I wish I had friends but I'm a loner and I wish people would like me but a lot of people always tell me that I'm weird or that I'm hard to understand. Sometimes I wish I could disappear or go somewhere else where nobody knew who I was.
I hope things get better for you. I know it's hard being wrapped up in a problem that doesn't go away as quickly as one wished and having to deal with it for such a prolonged period of time can be very rough when you run out of open, caring ears. Of course no one wants to hear about your problems all the time, but hey, that's what therapists are for! I hope you can get it all out with him/her and liberate yourself from having to feel like that all the time.
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Old 10-30-2014, 07:31 AM   #8630
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Ugh, I found out that, though, College really isn't a whole lot harder than High School, there seems to be 2x time homework. I'm overwhelmed!!!!
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Old 11-14-2014, 08:24 AM   #8631
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I have no idea why, but I've been in a shitty mood in the last few days. The slightest thing seems to piss me off, be it the kid in the grocery store stuffing my food in plastic bags before putting them in my backpack or my roommates asking me what I'm having for breakfast.

Then again, I recently changed my diet such as all but quitting sodas (even sugar cane based) so maybe it's caffeine withdrawal.
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Old 11-14-2014, 06:33 PM   #8632
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Oh I am totally like that when I quit caffeine. I've never managed to completely cut it because of that, and the headaches I get.

I got a writing job, which is exciting! But my articles are due tomorrow and I'm having hardcore Imposter Syndrome. I feel like everything I wrote is stupid and they're going to regret hiring me.
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Old 11-14-2014, 06:56 PM   #8633
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Yeah, I thought green tea would be a good substitute for the caffeine, guess it's back to black tea in the morning.

Don't worry too much about the writing Saya, it's your first assignment. They'll likely give you some leeway for it.
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Old 11-20-2014, 12:09 AM   #8634
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Only two weeks in and I'm already sick of snow. Watched the snow sander get stuck in the snow on yesterday. It's going to be a long winter.
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Old 12-15-2014, 10:42 PM   #8635
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I've been feeling lonely as hell lately. Not that I am alone, I'm around a fair amount of people each day. To make matters worse I'm in high school and have to deal with some of the most idiotic people on the planet. I feel as though it is impossible to find just one intelligent, down to earth person that is near my own age. In fact, I find it difficult to locate even an adult who is like that. I have friends, or at least people that I joke with and hang out with... but not even my family knows much more than my basic interests and hobbies. I can hardly remember the last time I had a truly meaningful and deep conversation. My loneliness stems not from a lack of human contact, but from a lack of connection to those that are in contact with me. Not to be cliché, but quite simply put I feel as though no one understands me. But is a person ever truly understood? I think not. I just long for the day when everything falls into place, like the leaves that tumble to the ground from the tree in my yard. I want to be one of those leaves. I've already taken the plunge from the branches and am simply waiting to decompose into the Earth and become one with the world, and one within the true ecosystem that I belong to. Will I disintegrate and integrate into the soil of society, or will I simply be a leaf forever blown around by the wind, given absolutely no chance to settle?
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Old 12-27-2014, 08:08 PM   #8636
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Seeing all the pain in this thread tugs my old heart strings and also brings back memories of helping some of you guys years ago (Renatus and I used to even talk on the phone during his bad spells).

If ever any of you need to talk (Especially you Liberty) send me a PM.

Oh yeah, forgot my personal rant: American Express is gonna be the fucking death of me. That is all.
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Old 12-28-2014, 01:47 PM   #8637
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Why thank you. It's very nice having someone willing to do that for me.
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Old 01-22-2015, 09:12 AM   #8638
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Word to my new roommate, flush the fucking toilet after a number 2! Oh yeah, and if you're almost finished with a roll of tp, have another on standby. And another thing, if you're going to run the dishes finish up what's in the sink as well. Just because you brought a dog into the house doesn't excuse you from leaving your shit laying around the fucking house for the others to clean up.

tldr: I hate sloppy roommates.
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Old 01-24-2015, 03:30 PM   #8639
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Ew! I'm usually the messy roommate, but that's beneath even me.
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Old 01-28-2015, 08:24 AM   #8640
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Yeah, it's frustrating but he's cleaned up his act already. Hopefully he can keep it up because I've had roommates before who clean up for about a week at most before reverting back to their old ways.
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Old 01-29-2015, 07:30 AM   #8641
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I'm getting really physically run down and depressed. These days it seems to be one thing after another with a slap in the face for good measure.
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Old 01-30-2015, 10:41 AM   #8642
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*hugs* Acharis
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Old 01-31-2015, 05:07 PM   #8643
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*hugs BourbonBoy and headlocks everyone else into it*
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Old 01-31-2015, 08:34 PM   #8644
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*chokey noises*
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Old 02-14-2015, 10:54 AM   #8645
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Do cops ever fucking communicate with each other? I was stopped and searched four fucking times yesterday when they were looking for a suspect dressed similar to myself. However, there was a clear distinction between myself and the jackass they were looking for.

While we both have tattoos, he doesn't have a crow on his right forearm and I don't have a fucking tribal on my neck.

And why were they looking for this guy?
He was in an argument with his girlfriend.
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Old 02-14-2015, 11:53 PM   #8646
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That sucks BB :/


I'm the same as before, just this flat dissatisfaction and loneliness that doesn't seem to get dispelled by anything. Don't want to go anywhere or do anything. Guess I'll just have to do small random things.
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Old 03-04-2015, 10:06 AM   #8647
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Meh, my sister's dog died this morning. Granted the dog was over twelve years old, but it sucks just the same because she was so friendly and loving.
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Old 03-05-2015, 10:50 PM   #8648
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Why is it that when I'm in a serious relationship with someone, out of nowhere another potential bachelorette suddenly shows up?

Here's the backstory/drama
A woman that I'm in class with, from what I can guess is only a few years older than myself, has been pulling the typical, "I'm available, but only if you show interest" attitude all the while not only tugging on my clothes here and there, but grasping my shoulders out of the classroom.
Meanwhile, I'm dating one of the most awesome women I've ever met.
We've been together for months and I've cooked for her so many times that she sees it as a competition whenever it comes down to who should make dinner.

Part of me wants to shout to the first one, "If you have the hots for me, say it already!"
The other part of me appreciates my current flame but feels something is missing.
Meanwhile, the logical me says I should be happy with what I have and say fuck it.
Damn, I've always hated this type of drama
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Old 03-06-2015, 08:04 AM   #8649
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*hugs* BB, it's always interesting when that sort of situation happens. Maybe the lady from your class just wants to flirt? I'm a pretty big fan of flirting with people just for fun. I dunno... only clear communication will reveal anything. If there's something missing in your primary romantic relationship, mayhap talking with your so could help you come to some sort of solution.

I've quit smoking again, been cigarette free for about a month, glad to be breathing more clearly again. Didn't go cold turkey, I've been vaping, stepped down the nicotine once so far, so woo!

Ended up with a new person in my life who's close to someone who's close to me. Several of her mannerisms drive me up a wall, it's a struggle to act like a decent person to her, which sucks because I like being decent to people, especially if they haven't done anything actually wrong. But, most of the time when she's around I turn into this gigantic prick. I just hope I can get my shit together so it doesn't jeopardize a significant relationship.
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Old 03-06-2015, 10:50 AM   #8650
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*hugs* Thanks for the advice Ape. I'm staying at my girlfriend's place this weekend for dinner and breakfast so I'll talk to her then.

I know the feeling as well. It's so difficult to be with someone who's friends with someone you don't like. Have you spoken to them about it? It would be good to communicate with them about it and maybe make plans to hang out elsewhere. At least that's what I've always done myself.
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