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Literature Please come visit. People get upset, write poetry about it, and post it here. Sometimes we also talk about books.

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Old 02-11-2010, 09:18 PM   #1
.Paige.
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Melbourne, FL
Posts: 4
Ode To A Leo

The wind on my back, just finds a way to tickle my spine
All
The way down.

The sun makes me sweat,
It makes me hot
It excites my skin.

There's something about the sun
How it impedes on all living things.
It makes its mark on my body,
Everyone can tell

The sun once gave me strength.

Then the rain comes
In all its climatic fury
It moves all over me

Starting at my head, the water moves down my forehead
Off my brow, then down the sides of my face.
Sometimes it runs down the middle of my lips, making them wet and clean.
Then drizzles down my neck
Cooling every pore it hits.

Down the middle of my chest, making me breathe hard.
Harder and harder
The wind is my breathe
Between my breasts and down to my waist, I feel it here
The most

The water wraps itself around me
I'm to excited to leave the Earth out.
Down on the Earth
I feel it on my back

The Earth moves with me.

The lightning moves quick, but not to quick.
It strikes with fury down to the Earth
The Earth I feel.

And then a clap of thunder.

And just as soon as the rain began.
It ends.

I'm alone now, the sun isn't back, the wind has stopped.
The elements have left me stripped.

You told me nothing in this life is certain.
I asked you once,"Would you believe me if I promised you that the sun would rise tomorrow?"
You responded to me, only once, "No baby. You can't make any promises, to me, for tomorrow."

Someday, the sun will come back
But I won't be here wanting it come back.

Now the sun only drains and dries me.

I'm done.
I'm done with the sun.
I'm done with you.
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Old 02-11-2010, 09:36 PM   #2
PortraitOfSanity
 
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 2,670
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You should talk you fugly, cat bashing, psychopathic urinal on two legs...
-Jack_the_knife

I don't hate you. Saying I hate you would be like saying I hate a dog with no legs trying to cross a busy freeway.
-Mr. Filth
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Old 02-12-2010, 02:36 AM   #3
FlowerGirl
 
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Location: new zealand
Posts: 255
...
is this supposed to be a poem?
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Old 02-12-2010, 06:11 AM   #4
Man In Room 5
 
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: IL, USA
Posts: 754
I don't normally criticize poetry because I confess I have no skill myself. However, as a rule of thumb, it's never good to join Gnet and instantly start posting poetry. People desperate for an audience are shot down pretty fast here--and usually with good reason.
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