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Old 01-02-2006, 11:50 PM   #4601
AlKilyu
 
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Yeah sorry to hear that Ben. Just remember, she is your mom and still loves you, and it is this sickness that is doing this, not her.
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Old 01-02-2006, 11:53 PM   #4602
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I'm stupid. Where did the myspace thread disappear to?
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Old 01-03-2006, 02:28 AM   #4603
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ben, does you're mum suffer from anything?
my mother is bi-polar and suffers psycotic episodes, she was not diagnosed till i was 15 and had just moved out. so growing up with my mother was unstable and unpredictable and at time terrifing.
so i understand, i'm sure your family will do whats best for her.
xXx
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Old 01-03-2006, 05:17 AM   #4604
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Sorry Ben...
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Old 01-03-2006, 05:30 AM   #4605
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheKorovaMilkbar
Many condolences, Ben. I'm not much of one to pray, but you have my support and what little prayer I can offer.
It is not a question of what you do, be it prayer, meditation or whatever ... it is the fact that you care and you told me so that gives me strength. Thank you very much.
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Old 01-03-2006, 05:38 AM   #4606
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AlKilyu
Yeah sorry to hear that Ben. Just remember, she is your mom and still loves you, and it is this sickness that is doing this, not her.
Yes. that thought is foremost in my mind. In the coming days we will try to get her the help she needs and make sure that my dad is okay too. It will not be easy. But based on the phone calls I had with my brother and sister yesterday, I know we are united in wanting the same thing, so that is a good start.

This is not a problem she developed yesterday ... in fact I think she has probably had this most of her life, and it has just progressed over time. I think one of our challenges will be trying to tell ourselves that the fact that we didn't intervene sooner is not our fault. You can think such a thing rationally, and yet ...

Thank you for the kind words and support. I really do appreciate it.
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Old 01-03-2006, 05:41 AM   #4607
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mortalitas incomitatus
ben, does you're mum suffer from anything?
my mother is bi-polar and suffers psycotic episodes, she was not diagnosed till i was 15 and had just moved out. so growing up with my mother was unstable and unpredictable and at time terrifing.
so i understand, i'm sure your family will do whats best for her.
xXx
We have no diagnostic evidence at this point ... I'm sure one of the outcomes of the next couple of days is that we will get her some help in that way. The best way I can sum up the behavior we've observed in the past would be described as increasing depression with many verbal expressions of anger, but no physical outbursts. Although, the phone call I had with my dad informs me that there were some violent physical events that only he was aware of. I am very certain that it is something in the way of a mental illness and/or psychosis, so our first concern is insuring my dad's safety and our second concern is seeing that my mom gets the help she needs.

I've had some good feedback here and elsewhere, and I appreciate it. Thank you very much for your concern and kind words. And thank you for sharing your experience. The fact that you've been down this road with your own mother is meaningful to me, and I value your support and advice tremendously.
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death takes the innocent young,
the rolling in money,
the screamingly funny,
and those who are very well hung.


Your days are numbered - 26,280 per person on average - 2,000,000,000 heartbeats ... tick, tick, tick
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Old 01-03-2006, 05:47 AM   #4608
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sanctus Dei
Sorry Ben...
I will take a simple, sincere expression of sympathy over manufactured, flowery prose any day. Thank you very much.
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death takes the innocent young,
the rolling in money,
the screamingly funny,
and those who are very well hung.


Your days are numbered - 26,280 per person on average - 2,000,000,000 heartbeats ... tick, tick, tick
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Old 01-03-2006, 06:42 AM   #4609
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Santarea
Hey Ben-
I don't have anything really useful to say. I am so sorry, though, babe. I can't even imagine what you're feeling. I don't even think I would want to. Just. Damn. Take damn good care of yourself. Give us a yell or a primal scream if you need anything.
primal scream ... yeah, I think that's what I was doing mentally yesterday evening.

This WAS a useful thing to say. No one can walk in my shoes now, and I'm not asking for an easy answer. But as I head into this unknown territory without a map, two things are tremendously helpful to me: hearing from people who've walked similar paths and knowing that there are people out there who care enough to tell me they care.

Thank you.
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As the poets have mournfully sung,
death takes the innocent young,
the rolling in money,
the screamingly funny,
and those who are very well hung.


Your days are numbered - 26,280 per person on average - 2,000,000,000 heartbeats ... tick, tick, tick
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Old 01-03-2006, 06:50 AM   #4610
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Empty_Purple_Stars
Having prior personal experience with a family member who was seriously mentally ill and a danger to themselves, I can gently suggest you and your family check into the nature of "Involuntary Commitment Orders" in the state of Wisconsin.
I found that information HERE.

I've forwarded the information to my sister by e-mail, and we will persue it to get my mom the help she needs. I knew there had to be a mechanism in place to deal with this ... I just didn't know what it was. Thank you for pointing me in the right direction.
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As the poets have mournfully sung,
death takes the innocent young,
the rolling in money,
the screamingly funny,
and those who are very well hung.


Your days are numbered - 26,280 per person on average - 2,000,000,000 heartbeats ... tick, tick, tick
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Old 01-03-2006, 08:36 AM   #4611
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Good luck with your Mom, Ben. Hope your Dad's OK too. *hug*
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Old 01-03-2006, 09:04 AM   #4612
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Corpus_Draconis
Good luck with your Mom, Ben. Hope your Dad's OK too. *hug*
I've said it in a PM I replied to earlier, but I'll say it again ... 12 hours ago I thought I was alone. Now I know that not only have many other people gone through some very similar circumstances, but I have the goodwill and support of a lot more people than I could ever have imagined. It means a lot to hear from you.

Thank you.
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death takes the innocent young,
the rolling in money,
the screamingly funny,
and those who are very well hung.


Your days are numbered - 26,280 per person on average - 2,000,000,000 heartbeats ... tick, tick, tick
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Old 01-03-2006, 09:10 AM   #4613
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ben Lahnger
I found that information HERE.

I've forwarded the information to my sister by e-mail, and we will persue it to get my mom the help she needs. I knew there had to be a mechanism in place to deal with this ... I just didn't know what it was. Thank you for pointing me in the right direction.
Ben, I'm glad that was helpful.



The next thing you and your family might want to do, is to find a good Psychiatrist(Not Psychologist) that you guys feel comfortable with treating your mother. He/She could also potentially help you with the Commitment Order, and testify on her behalf regarding the Assault Charges. If it can be shown that she is Mentally Unstable and her Family is actively seeking Treatment options, then the Judge is more likely to be lenient with her.

A Thorough Psych Evaluation will go a long way towards giving you guys an idea of what exactly is going with her.

Many Mental Disorders are passed on from Generation to Generation. I would wager that your Grandmother didn't ever receive a proper diagnosis either before she killed herself.

There just wasn't much to go on back then.

I will even go out farther on a limb and say it is even likely your Great Grandmother or Great Grandfather also had similiar problems.

Once you guys know what you are dealing with, the easier it will be to Treat.

It will be helpful for the Psychiatrist you and your family chooses to treat your Mother to have as MUCH Family History as possible. So gather as much information as you can from your Father and Older Relatives. Many of those kinds of details can be very useful for any Mental Health Professional that is attempting to narrow the focus on what is going on with your Mom.

I know this is all deeply painful and worrisome. Just hang in there and know that she is going to get the help she needs, and she will have the love and support of you and your family to get it.

Let me know if I can do anything else.

Hugs.
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Old 01-03-2006, 09:18 AM   #4614
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Jeez Ben, that sucks monkey butt.

I've had a bit of post-partum depression and felt like I was going off the deep end a few times. I wasn't committed, I probably should have been, though. I'm with EPS on the involuntary commitment. Probably a good idea.

I hope you feel better soon, babe. Time mends, somewhat.
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Old 01-03-2006, 10:02 AM   #4615
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Anybody seen Fenris_Queen, lately?

I miss her.
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Old 01-03-2006, 12:37 PM   #4616
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Speak my name and I appear.
I missed you too Wolfie.
And I shall not snuggle you until you relinquish baby pictures! Although you might have already posted some, so I think I'll just toddle off to the picture thread.
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Old 01-03-2006, 01:43 PM   #4617
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Ben, I wish I could offer somewhat of a comfort, but I have no idea how to. But similar incidents have happend over here too. I almost killed my beloved. But with certain phycological help I got better. I am sure your mom can too. As long as she wants to.
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Old 01-03-2006, 01:44 PM   #4618
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E_P_S & WolfMoon ... thank you. Will take the advice and support, gratefully.
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As the poets have mournfully sung,
death takes the innocent young,
the rolling in money,
the screamingly funny,
and those who are very well hung.


Your days are numbered - 26,280 per person on average - 2,000,000,000 heartbeats ... tick, tick, tick
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Old 01-03-2006, 02:09 PM   #4619
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I really want a Wacom Tablet...ugh.
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Old 01-03-2006, 02:14 PM   #4620
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Quote:
Originally Posted by joyslayer
Ben, I wish I could offer somewhat of a comfort, but I have no idea how to. But similar incidents have happend over here too. I almost killed my beloved. But with certain phycological help I got better. I am sure your mom can too. As long as she wants to.
Well, that's the big question, isn't it; whether she wants to get better or not? I'm currently frustrated because of the distance ... I'm too far away to be any support to my family over the phone. And being as how I'm looking for work right now, I'm not even in a position to travel there.

Ah well, I'll do what I can from here. I'm still waiting on the phone call telling me the status of the hearing. I'll tell everyone here more when I learn something.

Thank you for the kind words.
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As the poets have mournfully sung,
death takes the innocent young,
the rolling in money,
the screamingly funny,
and those who are very well hung.


Your days are numbered - 26,280 per person on average - 2,000,000,000 heartbeats ... tick, tick, tick
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Old 01-03-2006, 02:56 PM   #4621
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Santarea
primal scream
what is a primal scream?

and i'm so sorry to hear that Ben! *hugs*
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Old 01-03-2006, 03:08 PM   #4622
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Hey Ben,

I'm with everyone else. Not much to say. I have a cousin who molested his own sister and who comes from a place in which counseling isn't an option for whatever reasons same as your mom hasn't and sounds like won't consider it herself.
I guess all I'm trying to say is that I do have some idea of what it feels like to have someone you care about hurt another that you care about just as equally, again, probably not on the same scale as your situation, but the same helpless feeling and emotional confusion that these things entail.

My thoughts are with you.
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Old 01-03-2006, 06:22 PM   #4623
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Santarea
Hon, what does "primal scream" sounds like it means?
a scream....but what kind of scream? i am dumb sometimes what does Primal mean??
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Old 01-03-2006, 07:23 PM   #4624
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http://www.webster.com/

For all of your definition needs.
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Old 01-03-2006, 08:23 PM   #4625
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