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Old 01-31-2011, 09:19 PM   #76
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CAMERA CUTS TO HUMANEPAIN AND VERSUS WALKING THROUGH A DIMLY-LIT MAZE OF UNDERGROUND CORRIDORS. ALTHOUGH THEY HURRY THROUGH IN SILENCE, THE AIR THAT FOLLOWS THEM CARRIES A THICK TENSION WITH IT. AFTER A TIME, THE QUIET IS ABRUPTLY BROKEN LIKE THE FIRST THUNDERCLAP OF A COMING STORM.

Versus: [Flatly] Bitch doesn't feel right on you, man.

HumanePain: [Stoically] Hm? What could you mean by that?

V: [Stopping in mid-stride to face him] The floozy. She makes you smell like floral wallpaper and shoe sales.

HP: [Looking at his own feet awkwardly] Shoe sales?

V: [Undeterred] Hello Kitty and pot lucks. Alimony and book clubs. Yaoi and-

HP: [Defensively continues walking] I am afraid I still do not understand you.

V: [Mocking] Understand me? I have a hard enough time understanding you between the baritone queefs that ax wound of yours is making.

HP: [Bargaining] Versus, if you are suggesting-

V: [Shouting] WHAT?! I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THAT CHURCH ORGAN BETWEEN YOUR LEGS!

HP: [Defeated] FINE! [Takes a deep breathe before looking Versus in the face] I have fallen in love with Underwater Ophelia.

V: [Tilting his head to the side] L... ove?

HP: You remember that feeling you got when you know something is going to explode, so you walk away from it dramatically and do not turn around to watch it? It is similar to that, but towards another person.

V: [A stupid grin spreads across his face] Fuck yeah! That fucking rules! It's like... [Turns around and walks in place as if in slow motion, then mimics debris flying in front of himself from behind with his arms as he makes explosion sounds with his mouth] Fucking awes- [Stops in mid-sentence as he fully grasps HP's words. He spins back around even more confused then before] Wait. You feel like that with a woman?

HP: [Annoyed] Yes.

V: [Lowering his arms slowly] Oh.

THERE IS ANOTHER LONG SILENCE AS THE TWO WAR BUDDIES SHIFT AROUND AWKWARDLY. HUMANEPAIN CLEARS HIS THROAT. VERSUS CHECKS HIS WATCH. HUMANEPAIN BLOWS HIS NOSE. VERSUS SCRATCHES THE BACK OF HIS HEAD.

V: [Laughs spastically] Oh, shit! For a second I thought you said "with a woman!" [Wipes tears joyfully] I was, like, "uhhhh, HP! Lose the bra, man~" [At length, his laughter dies down eventually]

HP: [Strait faced] I did.

V: Oh...

HP: [Cupping his hands over his chest and looking away, as if smitten by something in the distance] I do not know precisely. I had not noticed, or even fathomed it, before... but all that was necessary was for me to but look upon-

V: [Gagging] I don't need that right now. I just needed to know why you were being weird in there.

HP: [Sighing] Perhaps we could remain friends?

V: [Shaking his head] I don't know, dude. I just don't know. [Begins walking again] I need some time to think. Time to clear my head and shit.

HP: [Placing a wise hand upon his comrade's shoulder] There is not time left, Versus. Unfortunately, [Pointing toward the door at the end of the corridor a short distance from them] I think I will be the least of your difficulties. You have yet to meet the others.

It's still early, so hopefully more to come before I crash.
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All fifty seein' visions of me shot in the chest
Couldn't rest, nah nigga I was stressed
Had me creepin' 'round corners, homie sleepin' in my vest.


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Old 02-01-2011, 12:58 AM   #77
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Good shit, man. Although I'm pretty sure you just made an enemy of Saya.
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Old 02-01-2011, 02:04 AM   #78
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Friggin' Awesome dude!
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Old 02-01-2011, 06:40 AM   #79
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Good shit, man. Although I'm pretty sure you just made an enemy of Saya.
I was really just making fun of myself, so I think she can take it. I'd like to think that we've established that I have an odd sense of humor and I'm really not a misogynist asshole. Hopefully the next one, where I actually poke fun of her and others, won't be too bad.
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Couldn't rest, nah nigga I was stressed
Had me creepin' 'round corners, homie sleepin' in my vest.


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Old 02-01-2011, 08:07 AM   #80
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Nah, I'm just kidding. She forgave me for the whole gaping chasm of horror scene so I'm pretty sure she can handle this.

Unless she didn't and is merely biding her time... maybe Sax and I should sleep in shifts until I'm sure...
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Old 02-01-2011, 09:24 AM   #81
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Nah, I'm just kidding. She forgave me for the whole gaping chasm of horror scene so I'm pretty sure she can handle this.

Unless she didn't and is merely biding her time... maybe Sax and I should sleep in shifts until I'm sure...
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Old 02-01-2011, 09:44 AM   #82
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No, don't do this Saya! I told you, I LOVE women! Some of my best FRIENDS are women!!!
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Old 02-01-2011, 02:59 PM   #83
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In the immortal words of Lucy Stone, "Eat shit and die, motherfucker."
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Old 02-01-2011, 10:49 PM   #84
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Oooh baby, I love it when you talk nasty...
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Old 02-02-2011, 11:56 AM   #85
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Keep it in your pants, Apathy, its not the porn thread. And I don't think Judge would appreciate being the second lady.
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Old 02-02-2011, 12:14 PM   #86
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Thumbs up

I'm a friend to the ladies. I support them in all their little endeavors - no, I worship them in all their adorable brownie-baking kitten-stroking glory. Sometimes nothing makes them happier than making me a sammich, and I just feel like, who am I to stand in the way of them expressing that, y'know?
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Old 02-02-2011, 12:28 PM   #87
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Sir, I know you're just joshing me, but quite frankly I'm so offended I'm going to go make a cake. VENGEFULLY.
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Old 02-02-2011, 12:41 PM   #88
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I would totally eat your cake, angel-puss.
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Old 04-04-2012, 06:48 PM   #89
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[Cut to a large rec room with a thick atmosphere of sweat and tension made all the more palpable by the silence of it's occupants who are seen engaged in various pursuits.]

[Cut to two tall men dressed in a pilot's flight suit. They are leaning forward on 5 gallon fuel cans being used as makeshift seats while using a video game console and flat screen bolted to the opposite wall. Intense concentration spreads across their countenance as they mash buttons on their controllers.]

[Cut to a long legged woman with an amazing rack dressed in cargo pants and a thick hoodie resting underneath a bench press and barbell. Beads of sweat pool across her eyebrows as she tightens her gloves and prepares for another set.]

[Camera pans over to a woman with an amazing rack talking quietly on a radio. She's dressed in a sharp officer's dress uniform. She exudes and aura of professionalism and confidence as she makes notes on a large clip board in her lap.]

[Cut to two men dressed in large leather trench coats sitting on a pair of cots. Around them are dozens of weapon parts placed neatly upon paper towels as well as a heap of cut up dirty shirts and a bag of cleaning tools and lubricants.]

[Cut to Humainpain and Versus standing in the doorway. A bemused expression plays across V's face before he finally speaks.]

V: I see the Boys and Girls club is still alive and kicking.

HP: Meet call sign: Regulars.
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Woke up with fifty enemies plottin' my death
All fifty seein' visions of me shot in the chest
Couldn't rest, nah nigga I was stressed
Had me creepin' 'round corners, homie sleepin' in my vest.


-Breathin, Tupac.
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Old 04-04-2012, 10:20 PM   #90
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Versus: [Flatly, without diverting his gaze] That's lame.

Humainpain: [Hesitantly] Beg your pardon?

V: [Turning to HP] The call sign. It sucks. It's supposed to be something badass and cool sounding, like [in a deep infection in his voice] widow-maker or bush-master.*

HP: ... Bush-master?

V: [fist pump] Fuck yeah! Now you're getting it!

HP: I'm really not.

???: Regulars seemed appropriate. I mean... We are the forum's most active members.

[HP and V turn to see that the room's previously occupied patron's have directed their attention to them.]

Solumina: [Consulting her clipboard] It was either that or [choking slightly] "Bangkok in little Gina. "

KontanKorite: [Hopeful] That's still on the table, right? [Looking to Despanan] It still isn't final?

All: Who the fuck are you?

Kontan: Huh? I'm Kontan. The mayor of your hearts. The Sultan of Scandal. The...

Desp: [Looking to Saya] *Who is Kontan?

Saya: [Looks to Sol]*

AshleyO: Fine. I get it. Fuck you, too.

Desp: That was weird. Anyway, yeah, it's TOTALLY still on the table. * [High Fives AO]

Solumina: [Flatly] No.

Saya: Racist and heteronormative. If that's still a discussion, then so is The Lorde Horde!

AO and Desp: Stupid.

Renatus and Murderofcrows: And the regulars.

HP: Lads and ladies, perhaps we should focus on...
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Woke up with fifty enemies plottin' my death
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Couldn't rest, nah nigga I was stressed
Had me creepin' 'round corners, homie sleepin' in my vest.


-Breathin, Tupac.
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Old 04-04-2012, 10:44 PM   #91
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Sweet, I get a clipboard and authority!
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Old 04-05-2012, 02:22 AM   #92
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Yah! the story continues....
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Old 04-05-2012, 05:43 AM   #93
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I'm not getting my hopes up again. As a group, the evil Gnet Fanfiction writers have repeatedly toyed with my emotions by writing a new scene then disappearing. I'm going to assume this Resurrection to be a short-lived one, to avoid the inevitable disappointment of betrayal.
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Old 04-05-2012, 03:25 PM   #94
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Sweet, I get a clipboard and authority!
And an amazing rack. Trololololol.
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Woke up with fifty enemies plottin' my death
All fifty seein' visions of me shot in the chest
Couldn't rest, nah nigga I was stressed
Had me creepin' 'round corners, homie sleepin' in my vest.


-Breathin, Tupac.
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Old 04-05-2012, 03:35 PM   #95
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I am happy to see some fanfic happen again. Damn... it's been to long. PLus this time i'm in it. YAY.
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Old 04-05-2012, 05:38 PM   #96
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I've missed this! glad someones writing again.
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Old 04-05-2012, 09:47 PM   #97
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And an amazing rack. Trololololol.
Well yeah, everyone already knows I have an amazing rack
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Old 04-05-2012, 10:02 PM   #98
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I didn't know!
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Woke up with fifty enemies plottin' my death
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Couldn't rest, nah nigga I was stressed
Had me creepin' 'round corners, homie sleepin' in my vest.


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Old 04-05-2012, 10:36 PM   #99
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Trying to write. Now I reach for the whiskey.
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Woke up with fifty enemies plottin' my death
All fifty seein' visions of me shot in the chest
Couldn't rest, nah nigga I was stressed
Had me creepin' 'round corners, homie sleepin' in my vest.


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Old 04-06-2012, 01:39 AM   #100
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CUT TO THE CREW SITTING AROUND A LONG TABLE SAN SOLUMINA, WHO STANDS NEXT TO A DRY ERASE THAT DEPICTS A COMPLEX ARRAY OF STATISTICAL ANALYSIS GRAPHS AND DIAGRAMS.

CAMERA PANS ACROSS THE FACES OF THE SEATED TEAM. THEIR FEATURES EXPRESS A VESTED INTEREST IN THE WORK UNFOLDING IN FRONT OF THEM, ACCEPT HUMAINPAIN'S OCCASIONAL APPREHENSIVE GLANCE AT A DIGITAL CLOCK HUNG TO THE WALL.

[CAMERA PANS BACK TO SOL AS SHE CONTINUES TO CONSULT HER NOTES AND FERVENTLY FINISHES THE LAST CHARACTERS OF THE MODEL. SHE PAUSES TO TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND BRISKLY TURNS AROUND TO ADDRESS THE ANXIOUS AUDIENCE.

Sol: As can be seen, [pointing to the various figures behind her to guide the others] While a majority of members resonate with the regulars as a matter of settlement, it is still not the preferred option. The Lorde horde holds the smallest sway, and Bangkok in little Gina [muffled laughter and forceful "shhhh"] is still being pushed strongly. In light of this, it would...

Saya: [defiantly] I move for a recount!

Versus: One obstacle in the way of story progression. [Wiping his hands clean] Done and done.

Saya: Don't marginalize m... us! Don't marginalize us!

Despanan: Who is us? You and your vag? Sentient genitalia doesn't count as a separate person.

Saya: See! You're doing it too!

Sol: Guys, please. [Turning to Saya] A... Recount? Everybody voted, and there's only 8 of us. Do you really think that's necessary?

Saya: Yes! I feel that some members would vote differently if their choice was anonymous. You have to consider that institutions with the right atmosphere can be very intimidating to the voter. Take Saddam Hussein's reelection in 2002, for example. 100% of the eligible voters? Even if that wasn't rigged, it's painfully obvious that nobody wanted to publicly go against him. Couple that with...

Murderofcrows: [quickly] Okay, yeah, fine, whatever. [Pleadingly to Sol] Let's just get this over with.

Saya: ... as well as the pervasiveness that patriarchy can influence even those that are oppressed by it on a subconscious level. If you look at how even women who would benefit from reforms continue to argue on the behalf of...

HP: [Quietly to V] Do you think that, perhaps, it would be appropriate to forgo a call sign and proceed with the mission?

V: Nope. Cool sounding code names are essential to any war story.

HP: [Loosening his tie] I see... [Leaning over to V] Do you have anything to drink?

SCREEN FADES OUT. TEXT SCROLL TO INDICATE THAT 20 MINUTES HAS PASSED. CUT BACK TO REC ROOM. SAYA LAYS DOWN ON A COUCH AND SPEAKS TO THE CEILING WHILE SOL SITS IN A RECLINER TAKING NOTES ON HER CLIPBOARD AND OCCASIONALLY LOOKING UP TO OFFER SYMPATHETIC EXPRESSIONS OR COMFORTING WORDS.

Saya: And from your support of the lack of necessity, I just feel like I'm the only one who tries to remind everyone that it's really inconsiderate. I mean, I don't go around telling people this and that. I really try to listen to what they have to say and I'll only say something if I can concretely disagree with something to back me up. Which I really shouldn't even have to, at this point. I would have thought that I've established myself as a subject matter expert, but it seems like nobody will take me seriously if I don't up and quote the...

CAMERA PANS TO THE OTHERS. THE LIGHTS HAVE BEEN DIMMED AND RENATUS READS FROM A LARGE HARDCOVER BOOK, WHILE THE OTHERS LISTEN INTENTLY WITH COFFEE STAINED PAPERS AND MECHANICAL PENCILS IN FRONT OF THEM.

RENATUS: Jillian drives herself - even with all eternity ahead of her, there's nothing like effortlessly whipping a Beamer down a busy thoroughfare - to the agreed-upon spot, valet-parks, and waves to the bouncer in lieu of paying. Even by mortal standards, this club has seen an absurd number of incarnations, so it's a perfect rendezvous for younger Licks seeing to avoid the attentions of their change-wary elders.

MOC: What kind of music is playing? Anyone I recognize?

REN: Intelligence and Streetwise at difficulty 3 seems fair.

MOC: [Scrolls an index finger across the paper before him and counts quietly to himself. With an inaudible "Ahhhh" He grabs a handful of dice and rolls. Looking at the results, he announces his result triumphantly] That's 7 successes.

REN: [Undeterred] Now it plays techno, or electronica, or D&B, or whatever the children are listening to this week. There's the amusingly named DMZ, uncharacteristically early, face set in that sullen pout that signifies vulnerability hidden under faux indifference.

SCREEN FADES BLACK AGAIN AND INDICATES AN ADDITIONAL 20 MINUTES HAS PASSED.

CUT TO SAYA BACK AT THE TABLE, SEEMINGLY UNDETERRED BY THE FETAL FORMS THAT SEVERAL OF THE TEAM HAVE TAKEN AS THEY DRIFT INTO UNCONSCIOUSNESS. A SOFT LULLABY CAN BE HEARD FROM DESP'S VOICE AS HE TAKES THE ROLL OF THE BIG SPOON ON ASHLEYO.

Desp: [Intermittent soft and harsh tones] The cats nestle close to their kittens. The lambs have laid down with their sheep. You're cozy and warm in your bed, my dear. Please, go the fuck to sleep. The windows are dark in the town, child. The wales huddle down in the deep. I'll read you one very last book if you swear you'll go the fuck to sleep. The eagles who sore through the sky are at rest, and the creatures who crawl, run, and creep. I know you're not thirsty, that's bullshit! Stop lying! Lie the fuck down my darling and sleep!

Saya: So, yes, I do feel it's necessary.

CAMERA PANS. ON CUE, THE REST OF THE TEAM ROUSES FROM THEIR SLUMBER. THEY CAN BE SEEN RUBBING EYES AND YAWNING DRAMATICALLY.

Sol: That's fair. We'll draw from a hat, then.

SCREEN FADES BLACK AGAIN AND INDICATES AN ADDITIONAL 20 MINUTES HAS PASSED.

Sol: [Pulling the last scrap of paper from her beret] And that comes to 2 votes for Bangkok in little gina, 2 votes for the lorde horde, 2 votes for the regulars, and 3 votes for I don't give a fuck, Versus, just get to the fucking action.

Versus: Wait a second. There are 8 people here. Why are there 9 votes?

Desp: [Angrily to Saya] I TOLD YOU THAT YOUR VAG DOESN'T COUNT.

Saya: [Defensively] I didn't vote twice! AND STOP MARGINALIZING ME.

Versus: Whatever. How about we just have individual code names, then?

AO: MAYOR! I called it!

HP: Overlord.

Versus: Modern warfare.

HP: Super 6?

Versus: Black Hawk Down.

HP: Wolf Den?

Versus: First Blood Part II.

Hp. ... I am not sure I understand.

Versus: It's the army, dude. All the cool ones are taken.

HP: ... Tool Time?

Versus: There you go.

Sol: Way to sell yourself.

Versus: Fuck you.

Saya: Oh! I've got one! Les Guérillères.

Despanan: Don't care. I'm The Abortionator.

Saya: I told you to sto-

MOC: Um... Crow...?

Ren: Mal.

Versus: Huh?

Ren: Mal.

Sol: Can I just be Solumina?

Versus: Sure. Fan fictions are powered by whiskey, and I'm fresh out.
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Woke up with fifty enemies plottin' my death
All fifty seein' visions of me shot in the chest
Couldn't rest, nah nigga I was stressed
Had me creepin' 'round corners, homie sleepin' in my vest.


-Breathin, Tupac.
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