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| Whining This forum is for general whining. Please post all suicide threats, complaints about significant others, and statements about how unfair school is to this board. |
04-07-2007, 01:39 AM
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#51
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a black hole with a black moon
Posts: 2,658
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Well people just don't understand. That lack of carelessness could lead to ignorance, not all the time, but regarding discrimination I'd have to say so...but I'm bad at arguments in advance.
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"I think in some way I wanted it to end, even if it meant my own destruction."
-Jeffrey Dahmer
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04-08-2007, 10:47 PM
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#52
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a black hole with a black moon
Posts: 2,658
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I've lost someone I love dearfully...this was a while ago...I have no idea what happened to her. She was the only person like me, goth, and who understood me. I actually felt confortable around her. Looking for gothic friends or moral support (people in my town don't understand it) and that was when I found her...
I don't want to sound like I'm hacking for sympathy. I will continue this later. My bloody eyes are dried from weeping.
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"I think in some way I wanted it to end, even if it meant my own destruction."
-Jeffrey Dahmer
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04-08-2007, 11:03 PM
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#53
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Florida
Posts: 574
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..and one last hug for Vyvian before I go.
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I'm sorry, I did not mean to throw up on your shoe.
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04-08-2007, 11:15 PM
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#54
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a black hole with a black moon
Posts: 2,658
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Thanks. I'm off as well, the sun is arising, into my coffin-tomb I go...
in closing words for my 900th post,
Upon a paper attached to the Narrative which follows, Doctor Hesselius has written a rather elaborate note, which he accompanies with a reference to his Essay on the strange subject which the MS illuminates.
This mysterious subject he treats, in that Essay, with his usual learning and acumen, and with remarkable directness and condensation. It will form but one volume of the series of that extraordinary man's collected papers.
As I publish the case, in these volumes, simply to interest the 'laity', I shall forestall the intelligent lady, who relates it, in nothing; and, after due consideration, I have determined, therefore, to abstain from presenting any precis* of the learned Doctor's reasoning, or extract from his statement on a subject which he describes as 'involving, not improbably, some of the [profoundest arcana of our dual existence, and its intermediates'.*
I was anxious, on discovering this paper, to re-open the correspondence commenced by Doctor Hesselius, so many years before, with a person so clever and careful as his informant seems to have been. Much to my regret, however, I found that she had died in the interval.
She, probably, could have added little to the Narrative which she communicates in the following pages, with, so far as I can pronounce, such a conscientious particularity.
-Carmilla
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"I think in some way I wanted it to end, even if it meant my own destruction."
-Jeffrey Dahmer
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04-09-2007, 10:17 AM
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#55
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: In the broken temple bells, in the ringing...
Posts: 5,979
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Quote:
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...This part of Wales is unbelieveable and I hope to leave here soon.
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Oh Vyvian..I was just in Wales ( Borth ) this weekend...Don't worry, you aren't alone. I don't know any other goths in real life either. I don't go to clubs ( there aren't here any anyway that I know of ) and although I love my friends to death ( I have known them since I was in primary school ) they are definitely not interested in gothic culture so I have to appreciate it alone too.
But. That is why I come on here, on here I am not alone, and neither are you!
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04-09-2007, 02:52 PM
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#56
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a black hole with a black moon
Posts: 2,658
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Yeah...it's hellish here. Hard to describe it.
__________________
"I think in some way I wanted it to end, even if it meant my own destruction."
-Jeffrey Dahmer
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04-09-2007, 04:53 PM
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#57
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a black hole with a black moon
Posts: 2,658
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Hmmmm...
sigh
__________________
"I think in some way I wanted it to end, even if it meant my own destruction."
-Jeffrey Dahmer
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04-09-2007, 04:54 PM
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#58
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Norway
Posts: 1,446
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Ey, I'm lonely too! Wanna be lonely together?
__________________
Give a man a fire, and he is warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he is warm for the rest of his life.
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04-09-2007, 04:56 PM
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#59
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a black hole with a black moon
Posts: 2,658
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Oh that'd be great. But there's more than just that...I need a while to get my head straight before adding more details...and to realise the safety I have here. Still...
__________________
"I think in some way I wanted it to end, even if it meant my own destruction."
-Jeffrey Dahmer
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04-09-2007, 05:07 PM
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#60
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Norway
Posts: 1,446
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Feel free to drop me an email anytime - use the address in my profile, only replace hotmail with **********
__________________
Give a man a fire, and he is warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he is warm for the rest of his life.
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04-09-2007, 05:07 PM
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#61
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Camden, london, uk...
Posts: 552
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(slimy,trolly) E-hug! ^3^
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04-11-2007, 05:51 PM
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#62
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a black hole with a black moon
Posts: 2,658
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I am still utterly depressed. Sorry, well at least I can rely on my fellow goths here on creepyspace to help me get by.
I once knew a girl who was beautiful. I loved her much, like a mentioned, she was the only one I knew who ever shared the same interests with me-the only other goth I knew. I loved her dearly, yet could barely see her for my parents restricted me because of reasons I wish not to say (abuse-related).
And then, one day, on my Birthday...she was gone...the pain has never healed.
__________________
"I think in some way I wanted it to end, even if it meant my own destruction."
-Jeffrey Dahmer
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04-11-2007, 06:31 PM
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#63
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Washington
Posts: 1,092
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Vyv
I've lost someone I love dearfully...this was a while ago...I have no idea what happened to her.
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Just... gone? Disappeared? Vanished into thin air? I do hope no harm befell her. How unfortunate that something so wonderful should be so meaninglessly snatched away...
Maybe someday you'll find her again. You could make it a life goal. That's rather romantic, I think.
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No.
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04-12-2007, 04:01 PM
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#64
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a black hole with a black moon
Posts: 2,658
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Clockwork
Just... gone? Disappeared? Vanished into thin air? I do hope no harm befell her. How unfortunate that something so wonderful should be so meaninglessly snatched away...
Maybe someday you'll find her again. You could make it a life goal. That's rather romantic, I think.
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I wish to speak not of it, I don't have the soul to relieve it.
Quote:
Originally posted by Bloopie
Vyvian, why are you so depressed? I suffer from bi-polar type 1 (the worst form) and I am not this depressed.
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You're very strong Bloopie, the reason being IS because of what is describe by my Therapist as a mood disorder. And still suffer (vaguely) from strong clinical/suicidal depression-because of the events following my life including love loss and being abondaned.
I know nobody wants to here of it and its typical, but before full knowledge of goth and expression through dark art, I wanted to kill myself, so desperately...
__________________
"I think in some way I wanted it to end, even if it meant my own destruction."
-Jeffrey Dahmer
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04-12-2007, 04:04 PM
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#65
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a black hole with a black moon
Posts: 2,658
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Cyntrox
Feel free to drop me an email anytime - use the address in my profile, only replace hotmail with **********
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I'll remember, for sure, ********** address XD
But seriously, thanks. I'll be sure to.
__________________
"I think in some way I wanted it to end, even if it meant my own destruction."
-Jeffrey Dahmer
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04-12-2007, 11:54 PM
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#66
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Calgary Alberta,Canada
Posts: 581
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Vyvian my dear, I have been through alot of the same things you have, I was depressed mostly during my teenage years and my 20's. In my 30's now, let's just say that I have improved myself.
I'd be honored to be a friend here for you in Gnet.
Right now, I don't have much friends myself because most times I've made friends, I got used or been taken advantage of to the point that I just don't bother anymore. It's ok, I could use the space sometimes. However, I just keep looking till I find new friends that I can trust and respect. I do hate the loneliness too, it makes my heart ache and I sometimes just want to hide away from the world. Sometimes there are things that we hang on to that we must learn to let go.
I know that it feels good to have friends that you can talk to, hang out with, and enjoy being goths.
I understand the fact that we are judged by society in a negative way, only because the fact that of their ignorance. Their ignorance means one thing: They actually have no respect and hate themselves to the extent that they tear us down to make themselves feel better. Perhaps they think they are so perfect, HA!!! smells like .....hmmmm.....um...(sniff)....DENIAL! ack! Ignorant people just simply piss me off when they tear others down or bully us around.
We all have our problems that we can't face alone, which why I joined this group, I do feel good being here the same way you do. I feel more appreciated, accepted and hopefully respected here. I believe we can help each other one way or the other.
Sometimes I like to sit somewhere in the nature and think. Think about what I can do, how and why do I feel this way. Optimisim can be useful once learned.
A wise person once said: "My beloved child, break your heart no longer. Each time you judge yourself, you break your own heart.", that has me thinking that I have to stop judging myself on somethings that made me feel negative towards myself. I did hate myself, my mother and some other people for many reasons. Once I learned to accept and love myself for who and what I am, then NOBODY can take that away from me or tear me down anymore.
Anyways, I hope that a friendship within the Gnet between you,me and all of us will bring more positive ways of understanding things as they come.
Hugs to you Vyvian.
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04-13-2007, 12:03 AM
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#67
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: With the Zombies
Posts: 2,208
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*hugs to everyone*
I love you guys...I really do.
__________________
It's not so much the pain
It's more the actual knife
Pretending the picture is perfect
I cut myself to sleep
I close my eyes for a second
And curse my fragile soul
I scream to hide that I'm lonely
The echo calls my name
*ANIMAL CRACKERS*
http://www.myspace.com/persephone_x
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04-13-2007, 05:29 AM
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#68
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,360
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I used to love being lonely, now when I'm lonely I think of her. Fuck.
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04-13-2007, 02:09 PM
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#69
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a black hole with a black moon
Posts: 2,658
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I feel some of your pain, Mir, contray our disagreements. I crave lonesomeness but with the loss of my own Mistress I cannot bear to stand it...I guess with the philosophy of loneliness I am drawn toward, but the manpulative loneliness is harsh to endure... (Gives Chocolate Ice cream)
Thank you very much, Dark Gentlman. I AM your friend. You too, X, crazy you...
__________________
"I think in some way I wanted it to end, even if it meant my own destruction."
-Jeffrey Dahmer
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04-13-2007, 10:36 PM
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#70
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Harlem
Posts: 6,909
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More than ever, Vyvian, I know your feelings on this. I'm afraid everything is going to become routine... Feeling alone, even in a gothic club is kinda depressing, lemme tell ya.
__________________
No Gods. No Kings.
Not all beliefs and ideas are equal.
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04-13-2007, 10:48 PM
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#71
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 794
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If it's any consolation Vyvian, you always have a person here in L.A. who enjoys your posts and your poetry.
I have alot of lonely feelings too, being partnerless and all. When the loneliness becomes unbearable and the depression kicks in I try to do something creative, and it helps to take my mind off the sadness. I'm sure you've herd that one a hundred times, but that's all I can offer currently.
It takes a strong person to live in loneliness. As they say in my 'crowd', draw upon your "power of inner strength".
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04-14-2007, 06:24 AM
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#72
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a black hole with a black moon
Posts: 2,658
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by KontanKarite
More than ever, Vyvian, I know your feelings on this. I'm afraid everything is going to become routine... Feeling alone, even in a gothic club is kinda depressing, lemme tell ya.
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I think you and me have the most in common, Kontan. Well, since I've nothing to do tonight, I'll look for one around-or ask around because it's beyond me. Oh, and by the way, I always love how you go to clubs "themed"-it's cliche perhaps, but cool.
__________________
"I think in some way I wanted it to end, even if it meant my own destruction."
-Jeffrey Dahmer
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04-14-2007, 11:26 AM
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#73
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a black hole with a black moon
Posts: 2,658
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:o (
<<<sad clown?>>>>
Life=
Downfall.
__________________
"I think in some way I wanted it to end, even if it meant my own destruction."
-Jeffrey Dahmer
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04-14-2007, 11:35 AM
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#74
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a black hole with a black moon
Posts: 2,658
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dEAtH>>>
Eat>>
Et>
T
__________________
"I think in some way I wanted it to end, even if it meant my own destruction."
-Jeffrey Dahmer
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04-14-2007, 11:40 AM
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#75
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,360
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dfgdgdfsgdfgdsfdfddggdggdgdd
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