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| General General questions and meet 'n greet and welcome! |
07-31-2011, 12:34 PM
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#1
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,700
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You hear a knock on the door...
You open it up to find a god damn shark staring at you!
What do you do?
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07-31-2011, 05:35 PM
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#2
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Cali
Posts: 8,030
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Flip it on its back and tickle its belly.
__________________
Live a life less ordinary
Live a life extraordinary with me
Live a life less sedentary
Live a life evolutionary with me
-Carbon Leaf
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07-31-2011, 06:22 PM
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#3
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,548
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Gothicus did this already. We concluded I'd be killed and forced to roll a new character.
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07-31-2011, 07:02 PM
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#4
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Back in Wisconsin(thinking about invading the south)
Posts: 3,693
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Punch it in the face, sharks can't handle being punched, I'm serious about that.
__________________
"The chaos of the world viewed from a distance reveals perfection."- me
"Never overestimate the intellect of someone so foolish that they would exploit and perpetuate stupidity in the people around them, for they create their own damnation as they tear out and sell the pillars that support society as a whole, bringing it crashing down upon them."-me
“I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.”- Einstein
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08-01-2011, 08:28 AM
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#5
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: Sugar Hill
Posts: 3,887
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Fucking Shark Week!
I tell the shark a long drawn-out story in an effort to placate it long enough for it to run out of breath
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by KontanKarite
I promote radical change through my actions.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ben Lahnger
I have chugged more than ten epic boners.
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08-01-2011, 09:09 AM
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#6
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,700
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Saya: The shark just eats you. He wasn't there for you anyway, you were just standing in the way.
Solumina: The shark Jurassic tail slaps you in the face, leaving your face cut up by its hateful fin.
Renatus: It learned its lesson about getting hit in the face by The Juggernaut. It has a metal jaw which you broke your hand on.
Despanan: It gets bored half way through and chomps your hand off out of boredom.
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08-01-2011, 11:20 AM
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#7
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Back in Wisconsin(thinking about invading the south)
Posts: 3,693
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*pours fast drying concrete onto the shark*
__________________
"The chaos of the world viewed from a distance reveals perfection."- me
"Never overestimate the intellect of someone so foolish that they would exploit and perpetuate stupidity in the people around them, for they create their own damnation as they tear out and sell the pillars that support society as a whole, bringing it crashing down upon them."-me
“I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.”- Einstein
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08-01-2011, 11:42 AM
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#8
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Smexyville, Colorado
Posts: 2,424
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I didn't realize that sharks could be Jehova's Witnesses.... *scratches chin thoughtfully*
__________________
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Be Kind
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08-01-2011, 01:38 PM
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#9
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Back in Wisconsin(thinking about invading the south)
Posts: 3,693
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ape descendant
I didn't realize that sharks could be Jehova's Witnesses.... *scratches chin thoughtfully*
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Makes sense really, if you knew the Jehova's Witnesses had a shark recruiting for them, you would either join out of fear or due to the awesomeness(I don't like using that word).
__________________
"The chaos of the world viewed from a distance reveals perfection."- me
"Never overestimate the intellect of someone so foolish that they would exploit and perpetuate stupidity in the people around them, for they create their own damnation as they tear out and sell the pillars that support society as a whole, bringing it crashing down upon them."-me
“I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.”- Einstein
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08-01-2011, 03:19 PM
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#10
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Cali
Posts: 8,030
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AshleyO
Solumina: The shark Jurassic tail slaps you in the face, leaving your face cut up by its hateful fin.
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You totally misinterpreted the shark's actions *sigh* they are so frequently misunderstood. He was simply thrashing his tail about because I hit a really ticklish spot and hit me by accident. He was super apologetic about it and we have moved on.
__________________
Live a life less ordinary
Live a life extraordinary with me
Live a life less sedentary
Live a life evolutionary with me
-Carbon Leaf
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08-01-2011, 09:31 PM
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#11
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3,812
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Are girls watching?
__________________
Woke up with fifty enemies plottin' my death
All fifty seein' visions of me shot in the chest
Couldn't rest, nah nigga I was stressed
Had me creepin' 'round corners, homie sleepin' in my vest.
-Breathin, Tupac.
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08-01-2011, 10:23 PM
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#12
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Cali
Posts: 8,030
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Of course they are.
__________________
Live a life less ordinary
Live a life extraordinary with me
Live a life less sedentary
Live a life evolutionary with me
-Carbon Leaf
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08-02-2011, 04:06 AM
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#13
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3,812
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That's unfortunate. My first instinct would be to invite the shark in for a beer, but I guess I'd have to leap into it's mouth with a bandoleer of hand grenades clenched between my teeth.
__________________
Woke up with fifty enemies plottin' my death
All fifty seein' visions of me shot in the chest
Couldn't rest, nah nigga I was stressed
Had me creepin' 'round corners, homie sleepin' in my vest.
-Breathin, Tupac.
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08-02-2011, 05:37 AM
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#14
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,700
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Versus: Both scenarios, the shark bites you in half. And then drinks all your beer because it can.
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08-02-2011, 05:56 AM
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#15
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3,812
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And then the shark explodes in a violent mist of gore, right?
__________________
Woke up with fifty enemies plottin' my death
All fifty seein' visions of me shot in the chest
Couldn't rest, nah nigga I was stressed
Had me creepin' 'round corners, homie sleepin' in my vest.
-Breathin, Tupac.
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08-02-2011, 06:00 AM
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#16
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Um, lower, oh yeah, uh, uh ... YES THERE!
Posts: 6,738
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A) I drown as all the water the shark has been swimming in comes flooding into my apartment ... or
2) I laugh uproariously at the sight of a shark thrashing helplessly on the concrete, clearly wanting to take a bite out of me but unable to move one inch on dry land.
__________________
Lead me not into temptation ... follow me, I know a shortcut!
As the poets have mournfully sung,
death takes the innocent young,
the rolling in money,
the screamingly funny,
and those who are very well hung.
Your days are numbered - 26,280 per person on average - 2,000,000,000 heartbeats ... tick, tick, tick
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08-02-2011, 06:53 AM
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#17
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Smexyville, Colorado
Posts: 2,424
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Crap, I was going on the assumption that this was one of those nightmare-sharks that walk around on their fins and are surprisingly fast and keep caching up no matter how fast you try to run.
__________________
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Be Kind
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08-02-2011, 08:46 AM
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#18
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: Sugar Hill
Posts: 3,887
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AshleyO
Despanan: It gets bored half way through and chomps your hand off out of boredom.
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I replace my missing hands with tiny sharks.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by KontanKarite
I promote radical change through my actions.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ben Lahnger
I have chugged more than ten epic boners.
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08-02-2011, 10:46 AM
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#19
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: In the broken temple bells, in the ringing...
Posts: 5,979
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Shove one of my antlers in its gob vertically to stop the downward bite, and then tickle it to death in it's gills. WITH A SPOON.
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08-03-2011, 12:15 AM
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#20
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 4,587
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Who opens the door without checking the peephole or CCTV cams?
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08-04-2011, 06:18 AM
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#21
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3,812
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__________________
Woke up with fifty enemies plottin' my death
All fifty seein' visions of me shot in the chest
Couldn't rest, nah nigga I was stressed
Had me creepin' 'round corners, homie sleepin' in my vest.
-Breathin, Tupac.
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08-04-2011, 11:51 AM
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#22
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Smexyville, Colorado
Posts: 2,424
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...heh heh... honey badger week
__________________
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Be Kind
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08-04-2011, 12:53 PM
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#23
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3,812
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Honey badger smacks the shit out of sharks. He really just doesn't give a shit.
__________________
Woke up with fifty enemies plottin' my death
All fifty seein' visions of me shot in the chest
Couldn't rest, nah nigga I was stressed
Had me creepin' 'round corners, homie sleepin' in my vest.
-Breathin, Tupac.
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08-04-2011, 04:16 PM
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#24
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: In your trash can
Posts: 2,594
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My dolphin takes care of the shark, offers him a drink, keeps him in line until Greenpeace can get here, so I can feed him a couple of hippy greenies for lunch.
I'd be making him a medal. It's a bloody long walk from the beach where I live.
__________________
"Always be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle." - Plato
Help me, I'm holding on for dear life
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08-07-2011, 07:46 PM
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#25
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Denmark, thou Viking capital!
Posts: 2,277
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I whip out my harpoon and kill the bloody thing before serving shark burgers for dinner.
__________________
Forget me not, for I do not deserve it.
Forget me not, as I do not forget you.
Forget me not, since I remain around.
Forget me not, and keep my memory.
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