Scansion Central

[om3gag0th666]

I want to see metered poetry that you pissants--I mean pleasant people have written. I want to read something metered on some level. At least recognize what you are doing.

I haven't read any good metered poetry in a month or two. So let loose. I'm probably going to post my poem in a few hours (I have to read more about it to draw more allusions).

Also, one last thing, it's a question actually. I have found sibilance, and consonance. Sibilance being the hissing noise. Now I've thought about this for a bit, and probably psychotically so. Why is there no word to describe the B and P sounds? The pa and ba sounds? They are very similar and require one to pop their lips.

Oh well, just insanity.

[Godslayer Jillian]

Well, I haven't written anything lately, so I will have to re-post one I have already placed somewhere here.
The rhyme obviously doesn't have a pattern in its syllables, but it does have rhythm. The odd lines generally have small breaks between the words, with one weak syllable and one strong one. The even lines I can only describe their rhythm by saying that they're to be read faster than the odd lines.


The white little playful bright light
The man had sailed in his small raft
The time almost dawn but not quite
When in the lake he set to rest
And a second after, a light

The small light quickly faded away
Darkness like the world of the blind
“I wonder what that light was about
An illusion or trick of my mind”

The second day the man had sailed
Again to his favorite lake
Not a minute after he closed his eyes
A white light had set him awake

“Could it have been the same white light?
That white light from yesterday’s dawn
But again I fail to see it again
Where oh where has it withdrawn?”

The third dawn was now coming in
He sailed to the lake once again
But this time not to sleep or rest
But to find out from where the light came

“I know you’re here my little friend
From whence do you come little light?
I have not met a more bothersome fiend
Than you, little frisky white sprite”

And as a summon the white light appeared
It came not from the eastern fens
It came from the center of the lake
Out of the water in mist like incense

“My playful paled little white light friend
Why is it you must in here wallow?
With that pale white little brilliant light
That mesmerizes my senses to follow”

And the brilliant pale little white bright light
Faded in the lake once more
And the man had promised to his own self
To follow the light on day four
The fourth dawn was near and the man had set sail
Ambitious to find and to follow the light
Before it dissolves in its refuge the lake
Before it dissolves and falls out of his sight

And as in summon the light had appeared
Right in the middle of its home the lake
Before dissolving down into the lake
The man knew haste he must have to make

Swimming further and further deep down
The man had lost no trace of his playful friend
But the lake was deeper than he was hoping
Yet he would go deeper and never ascend

Darkness enwrapped him deep down in the lake
When fatigue was too much for the man to fight
He sank deeper and deeper into the lake
And the last thing he’ll ever see will be a light

A light through a tunnel, a light in the lake
It certainly must have been the same white light
At the end of the tunnel named meaningless life
That will bring us to an outside world at night.

[BlackButterfly]

Originally Posted by om3gag0th666

Also, one last thing, it's a question actually. I have found sibilance, and consonance. Sibilance being the hissing noise. Now I've thought about this for a bit, and probably psychotically so. Why is there no word to describe the B and P sounds? The pa and ba sounds? They are very similar and require one to pop their lips.

Oh well, just insanity.

I once wondered that same thing! It took me three days of public library delving to find the answer. Ah well, I shall draw from my well of useless trivia to bestow upon you the answer to your query:

The term for "B" and "P" sounds are called "voiced bilabial plosives".

...so sayeth the oracle. XD

I liked that poem, Jillian... especially the ending--it was a bit unexpected for me.

Unfortunately om3ga, I blow at (quality) poetry, so I can't provide anything of your caliber that I wrote myself...

[BlackButterfly]

Ah, I see that you have become Super Spright (because of the homophonic association, comic-book fairies come to mind...).

I may not KNOW your caliber, but I have some inkling, since the poetry you've posted so far is better than anything I have written that I can remember. I'm not a poet; my art is visual (sketch and fabric)... but it is possible that maybe in the days of my exploration...

...it'll take some diary-searching (i.e. possibly a day or two... to find and then scan through), but I'll see if I have actually ever written anything worth reading...

[emeraldlonewoulf]

super spright? ok, did you decide you out grew "omega goth" or what? sort of a fresh start? anyway, I like the new moniker, much better. as far as meter, are you looking for strict, stay in the lines, never varying meter, or is a little variance, or alternate meter, ok?

[emeraldlonewoulf]

can't ever have too much kissing, just need time to recover...

[Encaitare]

Howzabout a sestina? I've got a nice one (I think) floating around if you'd like me to post it.

[Godslayer Jillian]

Thanks for the criticism, I will see what can I improve in the poem.
And, indeed, although I have a nihilistic view of life, this poem has more of an existential theme.
All the poem is a short story of some events during the man's life, but the only stanza that really matters is the last one, in which life is a dream, dreams are living, and death is waking up to that life.
I absolutely disagree with that theory of what is life, but I found it romantic.

[BlackButterfly]

I found it. After digging and reading and laughing at my puerile teenage thoughts,

(I was such a weirdo--wait... I still am)

I found the one shining work in the heap of used kitty litter that was my attempt at poetry. Granted, it is a cat-turd, but it shiny, and the meter's there. So here it is:

-----------------------------------
Untitled

As I must leave you all and say, "goodbye"
I ask that you not let me see you cry;
But if you must, then when I take my leave
Shed all your tears, but not long should you grieve.

Cry whilst the sun passes beneath your feet;
Let moonlight catch your tears before you sleep
So when the dawn announces the new day,
They'll be left where your dreams are stored away.

As painted frescoes, brilliant in their prime
Grow faded by the sands and tides of time.
Though radiance and detail now are gone
Faint remnants of the colors linger on.

Despite the walls, the surface of my heart
Your memory shall similarly mark.
Yet, to preserve myself, I must deny
The sentiments I hold and let them die.

But I shall smile at mention of your name
(The only trace of you that will remain,
For time shall take from me the face of you),
And if we meet again, we'll meet anew.

Seneca
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Flame away! (Or offer constructive criticism if you will... I'll accept it.)

[BlackButterfly]

Oh, I just noticed a punctuation error! In the third part, those periods should be commas.

And looking at this in hindsight, I really didn't need all that punctuation around "goodbye" in the first line... (nix the comma and the quotations...).

[Godslayer Jillian]

I relate water to both death and birth, which is why I found it so appropriate for the song.