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Old 04-10-2012, 09:11 AM   #7176
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I'm not coming back from this one...
Are you okay Fruitbat?



Trying to put Firestarter and AVG on even though it's apparently hard to write viruses for Linux... Aha, NOW I need to learn command lines! I need to do that when I have spare thinking power.
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Old 04-10-2012, 02:12 PM   #7177
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[quote=Acharis;692773]Are you okay Fruitbat?

Not really... not at all..


but shit happens....and eventually, maybe hopefully, I'll come out the otherside... but there won't be much left...
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Old 04-11-2012, 09:08 AM   #7178
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I hope you feel better soon Fruitbat. PTSD is a bitch, but it's possible to come back from.
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Old 04-11-2012, 12:42 PM   #7179
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Lately its been one thing after another. So many family issues, just tumbling out like a waterfall, somethings good, some bad.

A close family member of mine is dying slowly, painfully, shrinking and shutting down. It is hard to see one of the kindest, smartest and vigorous people I've ever known slowly fade away never to be seen again. It is hard to watch his spouse go through this with him.

Another is dealing with an emotionally abusive relationship. The ups and downs of which are rather tough to go along with even vicariously. To see her slowly isolated, shamed and broken down by some one she loves so much when that person doesn't even seem to think of her as a human being in her own right. But of course she doesn't see it, not fully, not yet how bad does it have to get before she'll get up and truly stand up for herself?

One of the little ones has been dealing with bullying in school, not only from other kids but from certain adults as well. I am unsure how to help, as he's a little socially awkward and has his own disabilities that aren't apparent from looks alone.

A close member of my family came out to me as transgender, which was weird at first but now I'm rather happy for her and quite supportive. The hard part is seeing how others have treated her differently since then. I've been pleasantly surprised by some of our folks' reactions and unpleasantly surprised by others.

The combination of everything together has been wearing me out to the point of exhaustion. I know some of these things will get better, unfortunately some of these things won't get better, but instead will end in death and mourning.

Ah, it is nice to just get it out and off my chest.
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Old 04-11-2012, 02:08 PM   #7180
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Super big hugs Ape babe. Mwah. Don't forget to recharge your batteries.

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I hope you feel better soon Fruitbat. PTSD is a bitch, but it's possible to come back from.
The PTSD is the easy bit to deal with.. the disassociation I've been experiencing for the past month fuckin' sucks, the medication really sucks, and I'm waiting for counselling because I have a major decision to make and I can't make it at the moment, with my head in the clouds and not in the game.
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Old 04-11-2012, 06:24 PM   #7181
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My dad is a crackhead, and going into an immature fucking tantrum. It made me so upset, I was shaking. My eyes looked like they were bleeding, and I thought I was going to pass out. Instead of growing up, he fucking grew down...

This one's a fucking sticker. Rusty lug-nut. (That's a tire-tech joke.)

Really, I just hope it doesn't get worse... but I might have to whoop his ass.
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Old 04-11-2012, 06:55 PM   #7182
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I was being really productive, then I got on the computer to look up one thing and now I have no idea what I have been doing for the last hour and a half. Damn you internet!
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Old 04-11-2012, 09:09 PM   #7183
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Thanks batty, *hugs and loves*!!
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Old 04-12-2012, 02:17 AM   #7184
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Ewww some people make me question my sanity because at one point I though they were people I wanted as friends and then they go and do something like asking me how I'm coping with Jake being away just so that they can segue into telling me how they would "comfort" me. Ick.
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Old 04-12-2012, 02:48 AM   #7185
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Ewww some people make me question my sanity because at one point I though they were people I wanted as friends and then they go and do something like asking me how I'm coping with Jake being away just so that they can segue into telling me how they would "comfort" me. Ick.
That's disgusting.
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Old 04-12-2012, 05:53 AM   #7186
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That's awful Sol. I hope you told them where to stick their 'comfort'. Some people are such dicks.

Hope things turn around for you soon Ape and Fruitbat.
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Old 04-12-2012, 08:20 AM   #7187
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Ewww some people make me question my sanity because at one point I though they were people I wanted as friends and then they go and do something like asking me how I'm coping with Jake being away just so that they can segue into telling me how they would "comfort" me. Ick.
I was drunk!!! GAWD.
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Old 04-12-2012, 09:24 AM   #7188
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I was drunk!!! GAWD.
http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e3...7hkqo1_500.gif
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Old 04-12-2012, 10:10 AM   #7189
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Jake and I do have an open relationship so I don't have an issue with someone genuinely offering physical comfort, I'd most likely turn them down (unless it was Saya, you know I'd never turn you down ) because if I were to sleep with someone right now it would be fulfilling an emotional need, not a physical one so it would feel like cheating, but the offer itself I'm totally okay with. The thing is that the way that these guys have done it (all three of the people being all skeezy about it are guys) made it seem like they have just been waiting for him to not be around so they can try to get in my pants.
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Old 04-12-2012, 10:31 AM   #7190
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Jake and I do have an open relationship so I don't have an issue with someone genuinely offering physical comfort, I'd most likely turn them down (unless it was Saya, you know I'd never turn you down ) because if I were to sleep with someone right now it would be fulfilling an emotional need, not a physical one so it would feel like cheating, but the offer itself I'm totally okay with. The thing is that the way that these guys have done it (all three of the people being all skeezy about it are guys) made it seem like they have just been waiting for him to not be around so they can try to get in my pants.
Hmm, an open relationship with a sailor... Can't say I've ever heard of a situation like that before. The closest thing to it I can think of is the Odssey... Though I don't think Odysseus's solution to the problem will be of much help here.
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Old 04-12-2012, 10:47 AM   #7191
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Our relationship has pretty much been open since it started, we both figured that while we seemed like a really good match we were at a point in our lives (freshman year in university) where we felt that it was important to explore and experiment and it has worked quite well for us so we have kept the relationship open, there are a few rules but basically what it boils down to is that we are both okay with the other pursuing physical attractions and desires.

Also Odysseus's relationship was only open on the one side, he got to bang lots of chicks out on his adventure while his wife was at home fending off the advances of her suitors.
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Old 04-12-2012, 03:02 PM   #7192
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Our relationship has pretty much been open since it started, we both figured that while we seemed like a really good match we were at a point in our lives (freshman year in university) where we felt that it was important to explore and experiment and it has worked quite well for us so we have kept the relationship open, there are a few rules but basically what it boils down to is that we are both okay with the other pursuing physical attractions and desires.

Also Odysseus's relationship was only open on the one side, he got to bang lots of chicks out on his adventure while his wife was at home fending off the advances of her suitors.
I was actually referring more to what he did when he got home.
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Old 04-12-2012, 08:40 PM   #7193
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That's awful Sol. I hope you told them where to stick their 'comfort'. Some people are such dicks.

Hope things turn around for you soon Ape and Fruitbat.
Thanks babe.


Back applying for jobs again. I hate it! This time I have to get childcare which is crazy impossible to get places for...

On the upside, I won't have any time to piss around on g.net...
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Old 04-12-2012, 09:38 PM   #7194
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I cannot go to a bar alone, I attract far too many creepers, even when I'm completely atrocious because I just spent the last 9 hours at work so I look awful and I smell like a mixture of stale air, chlorine, and a bit of sweat. Thankfully after a little bit their bouncer dude kind of took up a spot by the kitchen (I had wisely decided to take the table closest to the kitchen, mainly because that would give me the best view of the room) and gave the stink eye to discourage a couple of sketchy dudes.

I just wanted to drink my drink (pro-tip don't drink half of your long island before your food comes, especially if you haven't eaten in about 10 hours), eat my food, and watch Sports Center, fuck off with your shitty pickup lines about how I'm too pretty to eat alone, mother fucker I WANT to be alone!
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Old 04-13-2012, 01:58 AM   #7195
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Fuuuuuuuck me I stayed up past 5:00 am again, this is like the 8th time in the past two weeks, I need to cut this shit out.
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Old 04-14-2012, 06:54 AM   #7196
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So, having started to emerge out the other end of the “She’s gone and she doesn’t want you back, get over it brah” tunnel, I’ve been propositioned by someone else. This is a girl I’ve known for like five years now, who has become one of my best friends in recent years, and who I fucking love.

We always kind of sparked, but we were never single at the same time (I’d been with the same girl since I was 19, right up until a few months ago, and she’s had various boyfriends going on although she’s not currently attached). You know how sometimes you have friends of whatever sex you’re attracted to, but that shit never really enters your mind ‘cause they’re just your bud - then you have those others where you spark enough to know that if you were single at the same time, something would definitely happen? She would fall hard into the latter camp. There was never a single moment when we were attached to others where we would have done anything, despite the many, many nights we’ve spent alone drunk out of our minds. We were with other people, so it wasn’t like that to the point where we would’ve actually done anything. But we both knew, and always joked about the fact, that if we’d met at a different time in our lives uglies would’ve gotten bumped to SHIT.

I’ve been single for a few months now and am feeling a lot less fragile about it, and I know this friend would be interested in taking that it bedways if I made the move. I’m not just being a hubristic asshole – she basically told me, indicating that we could just go on as friends if I wanted, but essentially, she’d be game if I were. And I kind of think I am – she’s awesome and love her – mostly in a like-I-love-my-buds kind of way as a matter of circumstance up until recently, but like I said, even though we knew nothing would happen, there’s always been that extra dimension of “if” that makes me think it might not be a bad idea. But THEN I start wondering if I’m just complicating a friendship I value, for the sake of the itch. Having witnessed friends not work out, I’m wondering if “don’t shit where you eat” would be the best maxim for both of us.

To actually BE a hubristic asshole for a moment, neither of us are exactly short on offers. Which seems to suggest that if we’re awesome as friends, then maybe it’s stupid to complicate that shit for the sake of scratching itches we could both get scratched elsewhere without any drama. Then I think, but, but, she loves comics and awesome music and John Waters and Gasper Noe and the Modernists and most of the things I love, and we get on and we laugh our heads off at each other and we’re completely at ease in each other’s company, both know each other’s faults inside out and still like each other immeasurably. Which in turn, kind of seems like a stupid reason NOT to fuck someone. That kind of relationship takes work, and years, AND compatibility to establish, so it seems kind of dumb to walk away from... pretty much the exact thing you’d be looking for with someone else.

Then I return to the itch, and the cycle starts all over again.
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Old 04-14-2012, 07:05 AM   #7197
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Stop making me feel like a loser.
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Old 04-14-2012, 07:10 AM   #7198
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After that emo post, YOU feel like a loser? I'm practically sprouting a vagina here.
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Old 04-14-2012, 12:29 PM   #7199
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Stop being such a pussy about it and fucking go for it. You guys are such good friends and you have already admitted to mutual attraction so they only way this would go badly is if one of you does something really awful, even if things don't work out as long as you two are honest as soon as you realize the relationship just isn't a good match (because sometimes the things we love about friends annoy us about a significant other, that's just the way it works) then you can go right back to being friends, or perhaps with a couple of days/weeks off just to kind of move past things.

I know this last girl really did a number on you but it is completely possible to be amazingly close friends with an ex, you just need mutual respect and a modicum of emotional maturity (just enough to realize that if a relationship isn't working that doesn't mean you have to hate the other person), everything you have said about her shows that you two do have the kind of friendship that wouldn't end just because you don't work well as a couple.

If you still aren't convinced think of it this way: If you don't give this a try you are going to be wondering for pretty much the rest of your existence if you missed out on the best girlfriend you could ever hope to have, which will not only leave you regretting your decision but will also color any other relationships that you have as you will be comparing them to what you imagine this relationship would be, you may do this on a conscious level or it may be kind of in the back of your mind but you will do it and it will make you miserable. On the other hand if you do give it a shot all you risk is a very slim chance of you two not being so close for a little while.

So really you would be accepting a very good chance of fucking up all future relationships in exchange for avoiding an extremely small chance of temporary putting one friendship on hold. If somehow you two trying this out does end your friendship I will personally fly out there, buy you a beer, and fuck you til you feel better.

Now man the fuck up and give yourself a shot at a happy, healthy, exceptionally awesome relationship.
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Old 04-14-2012, 05:03 PM   #7200
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The way I see it, how you proceed depends on why you feel hesitant to begin with. If it’s purely that you’re worried about jeopardizing the friendship, then Solumina is right – just accept that that’s the risk you take, and take it, because the potential gain is worth it. You say yourself that what’s between you and this girl is what you’d be looking for from future partners in general; if you like her enough that she’s setting the bar for what you want, that’s a pretty compelling reason to give it a go.

But if the reason you’re hesitant is because you’re not ready to get involved with someone else after what was, let’s face it, a pretty rough break-up, that’s different. This, unlike the above, is a good reason to put the brakes on until you’re feeling ready to really jump in. If you’re uncertain of how you feel right now, then not wanting to mess her around is a valid concern; rebounding is natural, but rebounding onto a friend could get complicated.

Even if that were the case, though, it wouldn’t have to mean never. It sounds like she likes you enough to wait until you’ve got your shit figured out. And it also sounds like your friendship is solid enough to weather it if it’s a no. So my advice would be just chill, take your time, and decide if this is something you feel up to getting into.
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