Funerals

[HumanePain]

I searched and did not find a Funerals thread. Tha Duckman describing his collection of cigarette butts made me think about the past funerals I attended where smoking was the root cause. Then I began thinking of ALL the funerals I attended, so thought perhaps members would want a thread where they could post their recollections of funerals, graveyard services, what lead to the funeral, what they liked about it, hated about it, and perhaps even their own funeral arrangements.

I go first:

I have been to six funerals where smoking killed the deceased. Four where it was plain old age (in their 90's), one due to leukemia (my sister, many, many years ago, so you may spare me your condolences), two due to a car accident (both occupants of the same car were killed), two due to alcohol, two due to suicide, one due to organ failure in middle age, two due to violence (stabbing and gunshot), one due to heart attack at age 59 (the most recent I attended 2 months ago), and two due to cancer. Whew!

[Tha Duckman]

I want my corpse to be given to the necropheliacs. They're very segregated, and I don't think it's right. I like equal opportunities.

[HumanePain]

Since you would be dead and flaccid, that means you should be laid face down, as you would only be able to provide one kind of necrophilia activity.
Or would you state some kind of necro-preference in your last will and testament?

[Tha Duckman]

Not really. Way I see it, I'll be dead, so I wouldn't give a flying fuck either way.

[BlackDahlia]

Just about all of the ones I've attended were cancer or complications of cancer treatment-related. Only two exceptions being my great-grandma, who died of a bloodclot, and my best friend from high school who died in a car crash. I've never cried at a funeral. I just don't feel that secure showing such emotion in public.

[raggedyanne]

one for stroke
two for altheimerz (sp?)
one for suicide
four auto accidents with a total of six people
and my aunt has fatal bone carncer that's back again, so she'll probebly be in in the next year

[Shyantra]

Let me count thy many ways I have been to and endured funerals...
One hand gone...
Two hands gone...
I ran out of hands!!!! Oh! Wait I have toes...
Not enough for three total...

[Cicero]

I've only been to three.

Two of my grandparents, who died peacefully of old age, and an acquaintance at school who had an epileptic fit in his sleep and choked.

What really struck me was the conceivable difference in mood at the funerals. For those who died of old age they were mostly a celebration of life, while the teenager's was more about mourning a tragic loss.

[Shyantra]

I will elaborate on that more on the 'morrow, but no I must bid thee farewell and a goodnight.

[bleedingheart344]

I've only been to a couple. One for my grandmother, cancer, one for my half sister's mother, motorcycle crash, and that's it really, I've had more deaths occur, but there just weren't any funerals.

[rawrwithcows]

I've only been to two, and I can barely remember the first one. It was my dad's dad, Jorge. (Only its pronounced like, horhey, or somthing)

I think he died from a stroke..

The second one, was my god father. He died of leukemia. When I visited him in the hospital, he looked.. oh so different, it was almost frightening.

[HumanePain]

Originally Posted by Cicero

What really struck me was the conceivable difference in mood at the funerals. For those who died of old age they were mostly a celebration of life, while the teenager's was more about mourning a tragic loss.

Looking back, I see the same thing, except not just teenagers, but even up to the 50's it seems that it is considered a loss.

[Tha Duckman]

That's because it's considered a waste of a life.

[c130]

I've been to three; gran (about 70, breast cancer), cousin (4 years old, toxic shock) and grandad (about 85, heart failure). My gran & grandad were my mum's parents.

Personally I hate funerals. Not because of the sadness but because it's a huge load of un-necessary fuss. Lots of cash to be made in the funeral business, I tell ya.

Personally, I'd want to send off the deceased in a burning boat, viking style. Then afterwards, everyone would go off and party in memory of their life.

[Shyantra]

Okay I am up, sort of, to tell you off all the funerals I have been to.
1. My cousin - falling down the stairs, he was paralyzed from the neck down.
2. My grandma (dad's side) - old age
3. A friend of mine - car crash
4. Another friend of mine - over drinking
5. Yet another friend - OD on drugs
6. My grandpa (mom's side) - cancer
7. My other cousin - car crash
8. My adopted grandma - breast cancer
9. My mom's friend - old age
10. My mom's friends wife - lung cancer
11. My friend's brother - allergic reaction
& last but not least
12. At that time current boyfriend - kidney failure

[Valerius]

I've been to two that I can recall. One was my old nannie who died of bone cancer and the other was of one of my good friends who died of a heart attack at age 28. It was partly due to his heavy smoking and lineage that he died that way.

I also had an uncle who died of lung cancer, and he smoked I think five packs a day regularly though I didn't attend his funeral.

Oh, I just remembered now that I attended another funeral. One of my grandfather's soldiers from WWII died of old age. Buried the usual way.

If I wasn't cremated yet I'd want my body to be seated on a big old chair while everyone partied around me. The party would only end once I start to stink of rot.

[Clockwork]

I've only been to one, and that was for some distant grand-aunt of mine... and as I attended when I was seven, I don't have much to add on the matter other than I thought it terribly boring. I have a huge family, but I'm separated from them by a thousand miles, and I don't know it well. If there are any more deaths (though everyone seems quite healthy), I may or may not attend. My stepfather, however, isn't doing so well... I might be attending his funeral within five years.

I think it'd feel strange to be at a suicide victim's funeral. I'd feel awkward.

[Johnny Gnar Gnar]

In the last year, I went to three or four I think. I have seemed to average about that many since I was a freshman in high school. There is one coming up, that I will not be going to, but anyway. That's for the whine thread.

[Linen]

1) my 22-year-old cousin (interal bleeding from tubal pregnancy) when I was 4
2) my 11-year-old cousin (internal bleeding from car accident) when I was 9
3) my grandmother (various old age factors) when I was 19
4) my 53-year-old uncle (heart attack) when I was 23
5) my grandfather (various old age factors) last year when I was 23
^ Today would've been his 96th birthday.

[killer_asian_Dax]

did you know that if you mix up the letters in funeral, it spells 'real fun'?

Kinda kooky.

[Panther]

I've been to three. First was my granny (mom's mom), and I don't know what she died of, but I think it was cancer.

My dad's mom, who died of complications from her diabetes, I think.

And my dad's dad, who died of cancer.

My other grandparent died before I was born, so no funeral.

[DarkHeartedDemoness]

I want a green funeral.

Actually, that's pretty important to me. I'm 20, but all of my loved ones already know what I want done with my body when I die.

[Shyantra]

What is a green funeral? I hear reference to it, but am lost by not knowing what it is. Can someone tell me?

[DarkHeartedDemoness]

Wiki:

“Green” funeral

Those with concerns about the effects on the environment of traditional burial or cremation may choose to be buried in a fashion more suited to their beliefs. They may choose to be buried in a coffin made of cardboard or other easily-biodegradable materials. Further, they may choose their final resting place to be in a park or woodland, known as an eco-cemetery, and may have a tree planted over their grave as a contribution to the environment and a remembrance.

Basically, I don't want all those unnecessary chemicals pumped through my body. I want to rot naturally.

[Vako]

I went to my grandfather's funeral. He died of a heart attack. My grandmother was cremated and she requested that no service be held. So we didn't. My partner died of brain cancer. His funeral was in Missouri with his family. I didn't go. A close friend died from renal faliure and liver disease from alchoholism. His family held a Catholic service and wake. I attended it.

This is the cheeriest thread in the Universe !!!

When I die, I just want to be cremated, and my friends can have all my stuff. But God don't want me dead yet, man. I got more writing to write.