"Body Image Issues"

[WolfMoon]

I think what Manimal's getting at is, if you're issues are caused by an obsessive sickness, then trying to change could make you worse instead of better.Cuz then you'd just find something else wrong.Most people don't have healthy images of their own bodies, so for some of us 'fixing' what's wrong could make things worse.

Rather than trying to 'fix' things some of us just need to change the way tey veiw themselves.

Trust me, it ain't easy!

[Manimal]

I think adding adding to that is that ALL of us have a bit of this obsessive sickness about ourselves. Not all of us act on it but those that do are split into the productive healthy change and obsessive unhealthy change attempts. I would further surmise that those who attempt less drastic change are more successful (both for themselves and in the eyes of others) and have more self confidence as a result.

[TeapotScar]

*TeapotScar's Official Non-Selfish Rant About Eating Disorders*

I hate the fact that body image issues have the power to turn anybody, *anybody*, into a senss-less droid of sorts. It's like the thoughts are parasitic, and they eat away at any form of cohesive lifestyle that one is trying to live. It's a completely different state of being- like a coma. I hate that- I hate seeing people fall into that and knowing that there is *nothing* outside of themselves that will pull them out. I hate knowing that there's not a cure, and that every day is a battle. I hate how jealous I am that some people don't waste hours, days, months, years- thining *only* about food; whether it be the binge/purge cycle or how to eat less than 300 calories a day and still somehow survive. To think that some people actualy condone such forms of insanity, encourage it, sickens me. I get so scared knowing that it's healthy standards that sometimes set eating disorders into motion, and how innocent health tips from mother to daughter, friend to friend, girlfriend to boyfriend- how these words can make people lose their faith in themselves. Or just never find that faith. It's so scary to think that huge chunks of people- their personalities- can just disappear for a few years, or forever, because they can't deal with the pressure. Why do humans have eyes? And in the *front* of our heads, for Christ's sake- there's no way not to be judgemental- there's no way to stand in front of a mirror and be happy. And nobody knows what they're doing when they interact with other people- it's all a coin toss. Positive interaction, negative interaction- the lines are so thin and it's all about perspective. Nobody knows when they've triggered somebody else into a huge binge/purge cycle- but it can be anybody- any words. It's such a delicate situation, and yet it's all hidden- it all happens within the self. I wish I could look at the chemical levels in somebody's brain when they're going through an episode with binging and purging. It'd be hugely interesting.



Please tell me if that was selfish- I'm honestly sorry if it was.

[edible_eye]

why would that be selfish? the quest for knowledge is beautiful.

[ChUnKy_CaRaMeL]

If only we could truly look into someone's brain while they are binging/purging ... it would very much help those who suffer from eating disorders. But see, that might be considered unethical by scientists.

As it stands sometimes I feel as though society congratulates those with eating orders aimed at riding one's body of mass, and frowns upon those with eating disorders that leads to them gaining mass. I feel this leads to a general societal unsympathetic look towards those who suffer with eating problems. (hence why I feel there has not been much advancement in the field of truly understanding eating disorders)

Tell me if you've heard something similair to this before: "Be happy you're skinny, but you should eat a bit more so you can have a little meat on your bones. It's so easy for you. I'm so jealous." Another phrase I've heard is "why do you choose to be fat? Just eat right or exercise."

It's not a choice, and for many it's a disease [of the mind and body] meriting full concern and full sympathy and understanding of the suffering they go through. But what can you expect from a society obesessed with skinny and "trendy healthy" (For ex: Low carb orange juice?!? Wtf?!?! You'd think freshed squeezed orange juice would be healthy enough.) Having anorexia or bulimia would be like a crowning acheivement. As sick as that sounds, that's the general feeling I get from people as I go through my life.

Just drink your glass of regular, fresh squeezed oj and be cool.

[SuicideJade]

we all some times fail to realize how our ideas affect other people..
those simple comments like "i'm so jealous, you can eat anything you want cause you're so skinny.." or "why do you choose to be fat? all you need is diet and excercise.." affect each other..
i know i talk about myself way too much but here's a good example of such things..

My great Grandparents whom i lived with for the first 12 years of my life,
have had people who come to clean their house for them.. One of them was a girl named Anna,,
Anna was about 4foot 9 on her tip toes and weighed 100 pounds soaking wet with cinderblocks on her feet..
i an just the opposite..at the time i was a whole foot taller and weighed 3 times as much..

it used to kill her that she couldn't gain weight.. she asked me all the time how i did it because she felt so ugly because she could eat forever and never gain an ounce.. it killed me because i could starve and never lose an ounce...

our personal ideals of beauty are always someone else's idea of hell..i would personally rather stay fat forever than have that gap between my thighs like some malnourished model who looks more like a sally struthers case than a woman... and there are some that prefer too look like starving infants rather than carry a healthy weight...

i know these cases are extreme, but the point is that we all need to realize that we create these i'mages of perfection for ourselves not realizing that we may never attain them..
the beauty that is important, the beauty that is always with us, is attainable.. it is evident in our actions, in our thoughts, in the centre of our very souls..

i know that we all have had battles with the mirror all our lives, but the mirror does not make you..
you are you regardless...

[Jack5]

well any ways, the only thing i dont like about 'me' is that my hair doesnt spike up. Ever since i was twelve i vowed that i would not let society as it is tell me what beauty was, and that i would decide it my self but any ways im hapy now!

[Gypsy2222]

~Chuckle~

Well said Jade...

However, it makes one wonder just how much self image plays a role in the psyche of man as mankind continues with his (or her) obsession with the illusion provided in the reflection of the mirror... How much has our idealized self image formed who we are? I mean, though it is true, we are who we are regardless of shape and size, how much has our hunt in the perfection of self damaged us? I know that I am not alone in the realization that I found who I was in spite of what I looked like, but also partially because I needed to know what I looked like in the first place to get beyond the dissatisfaction as well... After all, part of what it is to find the self is to struggle with the self...

Blegh, leave it to me to take this conversation so off topic...

I believe the question was "What are some of the body image issues some of us have on this board"... (I am paraphrasing)...

Well, I'll not spill all because I don't want you people to know exactly how shallow I am about self image at times... But the primary two things are my teeth and my general shape...

If only I could go back and tell myself to brush my teeth more often... ~Chuckle~... Please note that I have never posted a full toothed grin in pictures... Not saying that they are rediculously ugly or mostly missing or anything... But think... I have been smoking for roughly fifteen years and drinking coffee for twenty... Not to mention one of my baby teeth (an incisor) never fell out ( I used to joke about it being my fang and I was only half vampy so I guess I wasn't goth enough to hang out with the oh so gothy ones)... Now, for at least five of those years I was on the streets (not the best place for hygeine) and then theres the army... lol... etc. All excuses... I looked into it, the price for the type of dental workup I would like is certainly not cheap by far...

Now, the body shape thing I am at least making progress on, I have always been predisposed to being a skinny kind of guy but thanks to the Army's MRE's (talk about high calorie!), dining facility and gyms (not to mention being in the desert for a year, with little to do but work out, and hang out here) I am certainly making progress towards the Brad Pitt body (that should be trademarked or something... ~Chuckle~) I have been aiming for... But not there yet...

Ok, you can say it now, I am more than slightly shallow about how I look... I just hated being "the skinny guy" in high school so much I never let it go... and I'll never go back to being that skinny again... ~Chuckle~ and if you think I'm slim now, you should have seen me six years ago, heroin sheik didn't have nothing on me... lol... the Army stuck me on double rations on entering basic... AND I had to have a weight waver signed for me to get in... I've come a long way from that but I've still got about 15 more pounds to go... aught to take me another year or two if I'm diligent...

Blegh... enough about that...


Look!... Shiney!>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


Gypsy~

[edible_eye]

that's so unfair, gypsy. what was shiny over there >>>>>>>>?

or was that just a ruse for us to look so you could run away?

you army folk. always into the deception thing.

[Gypsy2222]

Lmao...

... It's was... uhhh... a gas ballon... with... er reflections..... from venus.... yeah... Uh.... J? Agent J? Where are ya when I need ya?...


he he he...

[drgnlvr]

Originally Posted by Jane13

I was the one who went around telling the other kids that ring around the rosies is about the plague, and shouting "Bring out your dead!" as a game (Yes- I watched Monty Python when I was 5).

This is so off topic, and I'm still reading the rest of the thread, but I had to say....

Jane, that just kicks my ass!

[drgnlvr]

My body image has never been real positive. My mouth is crooked, I think my nose is too bulbous, my complexion is ruddy and uneven, and oily! Still, even at my age, I have to constantly battle zits.

Some parts I used to hate, I wish I had back the way they were when I was younger. Because they didn't improve. They just got saggier.

I've never been skinny. I actually got down as low as 165 lbs once. I looked sick. My body shape looks better with a little meat on it, I'm afraid. I have those Irish/Indian hips, and German shoulders, and the French complexion. *sigh*

I actually -look- best between 185 and 200 lbs. Go figure. But I am very, very curvey. Ruebens would love me! :P But I don't love me. I would love to be thin, and look healthy at the same time. It's just not going to happen.

Physically, I should weigh in at about 145 lbs. For health matters. At least according to the Doctors. But when I did weigh 165, I was weak, cold, and tired all the time. No matter what I ate, no matter how much I exersized, no matter what vitamins I took. I felt, and looked sick all the time. I felt and looked best at 185-200. But then I have other health issues to deal with. I have very severe apnea, and even if I could manage to get down to the "optimal" weight the Docs think I should be, it won't end it. I have had surgery on my nose, and I have to take mega doses of allergy meds, plus I need to have a surgery that requires them to slit my throat, and shorten the cartilage on my vocal cords in order to move them forward. Then there is the issue with my tongue. It's too big for my mouth (waits for the jokes, now). There's nothing they can do about that, because the problem is the -back- of my tongue, not the front.

Needless to say, this also causes weight issues. I stop breathing in my sleep, so I don't sleep well, so I'm tired all the time, so I don't get enough exersize, so I gain weight, so I stop breathing in my sleep, so I don't sleep well, so I'm tired all the time....and on, ad infinitum.

Depression excerbates the problem, too. Or maybe the apnea causes the depression. Hard to say.

I know what I -should- do to help myself. But sometimes, it's not as easy as it sounds.

I hate what I see in the mirror, too. Sam loves what he sees, when he looks at me. I try to live with that.

[drgnlvr]

Originally Posted by Xnguela

Dragon, hun, you're prettier than I am, and I weigh 125 lb.

Thank you. Although, I'm a firm believer in beauty coming from inside (well, for everyone but me, that is!).

Weight is a number... You're not fat. You know that.

Actually, *coughcough* I've gained some since that pic was taken, so yeah, I am. But, fact is, the older you get, the harder it is to lose weight x.X. But yeah, regardless of what the Doc thinks, I look, and feel better at around 200lbs.

If I had more muscle, I could easily look exactly the same at 140 lb. In fact, this summer, I did!!

I'm going to take a wild stab in the dark, and guess that you were more active during the summer, too. Right? Personally, I hate winters around here, because everyone hibernates. There's not much to do, really. And it's sad, because it really doesn't get that cold here. And winter does it to me every time.

I hate that society brings forth horrible body image issues in so many people... and that I have those issues, too, even though i probably shouldn't.

Fuck it.

Blame Madison Avenue and the fashion industry. I have a theory that will probably get me flamed, but please understand, I am so -NOT- homophobic. But the majority of the "Big" designers are quite gay. Have been for several decades, in fact. And what they percieve as "beauty", is most often whip-thin women with almost no hips, or breasts. In other words, they look alot like bishie young men. Those that aren't gay, have either bought into Madison Ave's ideal, or have a distorted body image of their own (Ever see pics of Gloria Vanderbilt? She needs a tattoo of an anchor on her ass to keep the wind from blowing her away). And where Madison Ave. goes, so goes Hollywood. It wasn't until Twiggy hit the fashion scene in the 60's and became the first "Super Model" (so to speak), that Hollywood started casting these waifs.

Fact is, most -real- men, ie, the average guy in the world, prefers women who look like women.

Sometimes I just want to slap the shit out of the designers.

[drgnlvr]

Originally Posted by Xnguela

actually, that makes sense... And now I know why I've always wanted to be more waifish. I want to be petite with big brown eyes... alabaster pale.

Ahhh, but if we all looked like that, wouldn't the world be a borning place?8)

actually, is it normal to get stretch marks on ones' breasts?

You're a D cup, dear. It was inevitable, I'm sorry to say.

and I hate my feet most of all.

I can identify with that. I have these cute, little toes. On BIG-assed feet. And I have never, -EVER- quite gotten used to how big they are. I still stub my toes, and trip.

I also can never seem to shave my legs completely, and I always end up with a stripefull that I miss!

Same here. It's hard to see where you're aiming that razor at, when your boobs get in the way!

GAH! Big boobs has become a running joke with me, and I have to laugh about having them. But damn it's frustrating to go looking for shirts that fit right. If I get them to fit my shoulders and arms, they're tight across the boobs, and people think I'm a show-off, and easy. If I get them to fit my boobs, I look like I can't dress myself, because they're too big everywhere else! :P

[drgnlvr]

Originally Posted by Xnguela

See, MY toes are monkey-long... Kind of freakish.

Look at it this way, you have the advantage in developing the talent of toe-pinching.

So it's official, right? No one will ever be completely satisfied with their physical appearance?

That would be my first guess, yes.

I also hate how long my legs are. I hate wearing all pants like floods!

And going to the typical chains is nothing more than an excersize in frustration. You either end up with floods, or you end up with pants that are just plain too big. Have you checked around for Tall Women's shops?

[Granny-like_the_apple]

Originally Posted by Xnguela

And I know what you mean about the clothes... my small-chested friends can wear tiny camisoles and low-cut blouses, but when I wear them I look X-rated!

Amen. This is why hardly anyone believes that I'm a virgin.

So it's official, right? No one will ever be completely satisfied with their physical appearance?

Actually...

Exhibit A: Leslie Flesner. My friend in early high school. Dancer. Loves her body.

Exhibit B: Jackie... I forgot her last name, but she's the Jackie who had sex with the [later-] gay guy in a tree. You know. Also my friend in early high school. Also a dancer. Also thinks her body is perfect.

Exhibit C: Elena Powell. Friend at hippie boarding school. Not a dancer. Very comfortable with her appearance.

Look at it this way, you have the advantage in developing the talent of toe-pinching.

Hee.

[WolfMoon]

Originally Posted by Drgn

And what they percieve as "beauty", is most often whip-thin women with almost no hips, or breasts. In other words, they look alot like bishie young men

Which is exactly why I couldn't sleep with one!My husband and I both like women that look like, well, women!

The designers have also said that the skinnier the model is, the less material they have to use in their designs on the runway.I can't believe that these people have all this money and they're such cheapskates!

Xng, your body sounds heavenly!Maybe if I lose all the baby weight by this summer you can come stay with me?*wink-wink*

Drgn, have you ever been in danger of beating yourself to death from running?

I like boobies!

[AlKilyu]

Originally Posted by Granny-like_the_apple

Exhibit B: Jackie... I forgot her last name, but she's the Jackie who had sex with the [later-] gay guy in a tree. You know. Also my friend in early high school. Also a dancer. Also thinks her body is perfect.

That was beautiful. God bless ADD and weed.

[Granny-like_the_apple]

Originally Posted by AlKilyu

That was beautiful. God bless ADD and weed.

Mmm.... weed donuts...

[AlKilyu]

I have a question, becaue I honestly don't know, but does obeisity lead to diabetes, or is it just a coincidence?

[Granny-like_the_apple]

They're connected.

http://my.webmd.com/content/article/74/89232.htm

http://www.naaso.org/information/diabetes_obesity.asp

[drgnlvr]

Originally Posted by AlKilyu

I have a question, becaue I honestly don't know, but does obeisity lead to diabetes, or is it just a coincidence?

There are two types. Type 1, and Type 2; which is generally linked to obesity, but not always. You run a greater risk of adult onset diebetes if you're obese, true. But it's not as "guarnateed" as say heart problems.

http://www.diabetes.org/about-diabetes.jsp

[drgnlvr]

Originally Posted by WolfMoon

Drgn, have you ever been in danger of beating yourself to death from running?

I like boobies!

Heehee! Ohhh, yes! And getting them caught in doors, and interfering with my reach, and... Well, you get the idea. :lol:

And I breast-fed all three of my children. I cannot tell you all the times people would joke that they thought I was going to smother the baby! :shock:

[WolfMoon]

Jesusassrapingmary!

People can be such idiots!People used to tell my sister not to sleep with her baby in the bed with her because she was overweight and would smother the baby.

:x

People just don't think sometimes about what they say to new moms, or they don't care.

[drgnlvr]

Originally Posted by WolfMoon

Jesusassrapingmary!

People can be such idiots!People used to tell my sister not to sleep with her baby in the bed with her because she was overweight and would smother the baby.

:x

People just don't think sometimes about what they say to new moms, or they don't care.

LOL! Agreed that some people are just stupid. And the comment would depend on who it was from. A dear friend, who just so happened to make me look flat-chested, used to tease me like that, and it was cool. But someone whom I barely know? They would feel my barbed tongue...and I don't mean in the fun way, either (at least not fun for them).



btw...The Sam-person just happened to peek over my shoulder, and saw your upic. He thinks you're quite cute! Of course, he has a nice pair of fangs, too.

They grew naturally, too! :shock:


I think they're sexay!