Do I have the right to be mad?

[Stormtrooper of Death]

Dude sorry to here about everything, I lost my grandma 2 weeks ago, so I know what you're going through, if you need anything, let me know.

As to the other situation, haven never been cheated on, I'm not so sure I'm qualified to give advice at all, but I think that talking it over with her is a good start, ask her why she did it and all that stuff. That's what I'd do, but then again I'm pretty much a doormat when it comes to personal relationships.

[Tam Li Hua]

Yes, it's okay to still be mad.

When one first finds out things like that, it can be a bit of a shock, and can take some time to sink in.

No one can really tell you what to do in that situation except yourself, but I wish you luck with whatever happens.

[Tam Li Hua]

Originally Posted by Renatus

Sorry I cant be a very avid responder right now, but just yesterday my grandfather fell again and is now on life support. Two people possibly lost in one day, what a weekend.

Well, that sucks. I hope he gets better soon!

May I ask, how old is he?

[Ben Lahnger]

Tam Li Hua, I wouldn't normally do this, but I've noticed you have a really bad habit. You start scanning through a thread and then respond to an old mid-thread post, even though more things have been posted since that either change or render irrelevant the post that you've responded to.

Case in point - instead of posting this response:

Originally Posted by Tam Li Hua

Well, that sucks. I hope he gets better soon!

May I ask, how old is he?

... if you had read further down the thread you'd have seen that Renatus went on to post that it is very likely his grandfather is going to die. That update makes your post seem insensitive at worst and blithely oblivious at best. Good intentions are not enough to compensate for this kind of blunder.

As I said, you've done this before. Please, please, PLEASE read all the posts in a thread so you are up to date before you post a reply.

[HumanePain]

Dude, I am sorry to read about what happened to your grandfather, but I am also relieved to read your posting about the spicy chicken in order to "cheer everyone up" as looking outward and talking to people is the best medicine for your situation, and also shows great maturity in accepting what is happening, as long as it is genuine and not a way of covering up your fears or worry.

Death is natural, and remember the good times you had with him (as you already mentioned you do). I for one, would prefer my friends and family to recall good times and not mourn my passing. The old must give way to the young.

I will repost a favorite poem of mine I wrote in the Poetry thread a while back:

The new leaves turn
fresh face to the sun
too new to burn;
the Spring is fun.

Hot Summer's breath
and it's stormy splash
stalls, hides old death
but not time's flash.

Below it all,
past leaves of Fall.
Their green long gone
while The Tree stays strong.

Yellows and Reds
make them proud and mature
their days have bled
as is Time's nature.

Forgotten green,
forgotten birth,
no longer seen
but as dark earth.



PM me dude if you need to talk privately, I'm here for you man.

[Catch]

That was beautiful.

[creature6]

http://www.collectmad.com/collectibles/madAbout60s.jpg


Seriously you need to get out more!

[Ben Lahnger]

creature6, you're on rather an ignorant tear this morning, aren't you. Well, this was particularly insensitive, even for you.

[creature6]

Here they come.

http://scrapetv.com/News/News%20Page...2/Emo-Kids.jpg


Fancy joining the emos circus?

[Ben Lahnger]

I like making lists.

1) Finish my banking and pay some bills online - check
2) Sort out a couple of boxes of books to sell at Half Price Books - check
3) Drop pet deposit off at leasing office - check
4) Add creature6 to my ignore list - check

There's something very satisfying about making a list of things to do and then checking them off when they are completed.

[Nephilim72]

My deepest regards go to you. I'm very sorry to hear about your grandfather.

As for the girl, I don't tend to remain in such relationships and see if anything will change. In my eyes, the moment the woman I solely love decides to cheat is the moment she is dishonest toward me, because in and of itself, "cheating" implies the desire to hide something and setting aside the consequences. I can't build a relationship without honesty and trust.

Humane makes a wonderful point.

[Renatus]

Well now I'm even less sure what to think, he might last longer than expected. He can even speak again which according to the Oxford Educated neurologist at the University of Wisconsin Madison hospital where he is staying based on the damage to this brain from this trauma and his last one as shown in his cat scan, shouldnt be possible. All in all everything going on right now is putting me through alot of moodswings, and all these mood swings are driving me crazy.

[Solumina]

I can relate, when my dad was in the hospital it was the good days were almost worse than the bad days because even though you know things aren't going to get better you can't help but get just a little bit of hope. I know things are hard and I wont lie, they are going to get harder, sure you will get used to him being sick but that really doesn't make things any easier. You just have to make the most of the time that you do have, see him every chance that you get, hug him as tight as you can, and tell him everything that is happening in your life. My heart goes out to you and your family.

[creature6]

Originally Posted by Ben Lahnger

I like making lists.

1) Finish my banking and pay some bills online - check
2) Sort out a couple of boxes of books to sell at Half Price Books - check
3) Drop pet deposit off at leasing office - check
4) Add creature6 to my ignore list - check

There's something very satisfying about making a list of things to do and then checking them off when they are completed.

http://stickersanddonuts.com/wp-cont...list-knock.jpg

Return the fallowing form once you finished.
thank you

[Renatus]

Well my grandfather is getting worse again, and I have now lost one of my great uncles, whats next?

[ART]

Its easy to see patterns. We are made that way, us humans. We are excellent at spotting patterns.

Sometimes where there are no patterns at all.

I admit that the randomness of these events eluding you is understandable. I cannot truthfully say I feel your pain, but I think I can relate to it. And thus I feel obliged to point out that the universe is not conspiring against you; it just seems that way.

All in all, the very best wishes. And no, not one shred of relationship advice. Not from me.

[Apathy's_Child]

Sorry to hear about your grampops and your great uncle. Hope your family are rallying and doing okay.

As for the girlfriend trouble - personally, my questions would be: 1) is she genuinely contrite, or making you feel like a douche for not getting over it instantly? 2) can you trust her again, even if she does everything you want her to right now? 3) given all the other shit happening in your life, is this the time to be making decisions which affect your emotional welfare? If not, take a break. If she's let you down, regardless of whether it's fixable in the future, right now you need people you can rely on.

[Renatus]

Well I think I am well on the way through healing from this, so right now I am pulling an all nighter tonight so all of this can sink in. One of the biggest problems for me has been my subconcious mind acting like a reset button every morning, moving me back to square one with all the crazy dreams and nightmares it puts me through. Honestly there are times when I wonder if I get more rest while I'm awake or while I'm asleep.

[Saya]

When it rains it pours. Just take it easy and I agree with Apathy's Child, its probably a good idea to wait a while to figure things out with the girlfriend, until you're better.

As for sleep, I know what you mean, when things are going to shit it feels worse when you just wake up. Hopefully after an all nighter you'll sleep very soundly tomorrow night.

[Renatus]

Of all the nights to choose to take an all nighter. My grandfather is dead. Do I have bad luck or what? I barely even saw him the last time I was at the hospital, I spent most of the time staying awake in the waiting room untill my aunt made it up from Texas so she could take her turn watching him. I was hoping he would last untill this weekend so I could at least give him a hug. I should have followed my instinct and just hugged him there and then, rather than procrastinate. My last chance to hug him and I procrastinated.

[HumanePain]

It's ok man, don't put guilt on yourself, you demonstrated your affection for him plenty of times when he lived. Check your PM.

[Renatus]

Yep. You know I really dont think it was random chance this happened when it did. I started the whole healing process for this whole situation, and then just a few hours later he had the accident. I believe I finished healing last night, and then, just a few hours later, he died.