Advice needed...didn't know where to put this

[chelseagirl]

I am in need of advice and/or encouragement, etc.

Okay, I’m going to shorten the back story as much as possible. I was ***** 15 years ago. I never went to the police because the threatened me and I was terrified of him. Last year, I saw in the newspaper that he had been arrested for kidnapping and ****. I called the police station to tell them my story, in case it might be of help to them.

He is currently incarcerated awaiting trial for the kidnapping and **** of the other girl, because his bail was set so high he couldn’t meet it. His family and friends had set up a website asking for donations toward his bail, as he is “innocent”. He is a semi-popular musician and I guess has a lot of fans.

The detective that I originally gave my statement to called me this morning. He said that the defense attorney had put in a motion for a bail reduction hearing, and that it is scheduled soon. He said that the prosecutor in the case is afraid the rapists family and friends have been able to raise enough money to bail him out if the bail is reduced at all. The prosecutor is afraid if he is bailed out, that he will run. They want me to press charges so they can issue a warrant for him for what he did for me 15 years ago. They said they probably wouldn’t pursue it to trial, but they need to use that warrant to keep him in jail so he doesn’t go on the run.

I know it is the right thing for me to do, to make sure he’s not out there attacking other women, but I’m scared. I’m scared that something will go wrong with his trial and he will get off and walk free. Things go wrong all of the time, and rapists go free, you know? If this happens, I’m afraid he will come after me, since he will know I pressed charges. My husband is really mad at me for agreeing to do it. I still have time to back out. What would you do?

[Lapin]

Oh Mother, (gives you a handkerchief), I know this is harder than just about anything.

But you have to do it. I know you're terrified and this is probably enough to put you back five years of trauma therapy, but you absolutely need to do everything you can to put this bastard where he belongs.

Tell the police you want a car outside your house at all times and an escort if that's what it takes, but do not let this go!

[Underwater Ophelia]

That's really a shame. It's terrible how often this happens. I think you should do what you think is right, and we both know what that is.
If it's going to cause you more stress and unhappiness than it will help, don't, but only you can make that choice.

[Valerius]

You gotta do wat you gotta do. I'm telling you if you hold back and don't press charges against this guy then you're damning another girl to the horror that you yourself lived through 15 years ago. Give him what he deserves, and give yourself the consolation that once you've taken the proper steps you've taken at least one towards making things better for all and giving this guy his just desserts. Be strong and stand up for what you believe is right.

[Don't Look Behind You]

you have already told them about it, so there is no backing out now.
I wish you all the best.

[Wanderlust]

If I were you I'd press charges. I don't care what might happen to me just as long as that bastard is locked up.

[chelseagirl]

Well, I feel very relieved. Really, my main fear was that I was only pressing charges to have him held in jail (so he cannot post bail for the other girl's case) until his trial for attacking the other girl comes up. They are not going to proceed to trial for my situation, they are just using the warrant to make it so he cannot post bail for his current situation. My fear was that I would do this, he would know that I did, but something with his trial would fall through and he would walk....and then perhaps come after me.

THANKFULLY, I just received an email from the detective alleviating that fear. He assured me that not only do they have physical evidence proving he commited the crime, but they also have a recorded confession from him. That is apparently why the prosecutor was so afraid that he would skip bail on go on the run. He said that because of the additional charges of kidnapping, torture, and weapons charges, he will be getting multiple life sentences and will never set foot out of a prison again.

I feel mucho relieved now. Thanks guys for all your responses.

[Crying_Crimson_Tears]

Well I am glad to hear that this guy will stay locked up. But also am disappointed to hear your husband was upset at you for agreeing to do what you thought was right. but that's just me. I think he should have supported you no matter what. But whatever. Anyway I hope all goes well for you.

[chelseagirl]

ahh, my husband is anything BUT supportive, unfortunately...unless it comes to me losing weight, which he has demanded I do immediately. lol

[Crying_Crimson_Tears]

Oh, well that's nice. *Sarcastic-ish Tone*

*Giggles*

[Sobeh]

overeating is one of many maladaptive, but successful, coping mechanisms for horrible life events such as the ones you've seen. if your husband isn't able to support you as you deal with all of that, i can only pray you've got a support network otherwise, with people who can smile and hug you.

i started out upset at this guy from your past, then he was taken care of and now all that anger shot to your hubby - i want to shake him and yell, 'be nice you fucker!' even though i don't know him. meh.

i do wish you the best, obviously. goes without saying. may you be at peace.

[chelseagirl]

haha, it's cool, I do need to lose weight. I've lost 3 pounds in the past 2 weeks, so it's happening...just ever so slowly.

[Aaroneet]

You're not the only dieter here, but that's for another time and thread. What you did took a lot of audacity. I applaud you for that.

[biohazard]

Well if I were you I would back out. I always prefer to take the safer route, but if you do stay, it would be helpfull to others. If your husband disagrees, then maybe you should back out.