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Old 12-15-2005, 08:02 AM   #1
Eeegor
 
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Bagged by David J. Schow

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We kicked in the door of the crypt with an aluminum battering ram and did the sweep-and-spread you usually do when trying to cover unknown space. No bloodthirsty monsters attacked. Our own blood was up from the first bag of the day; maybe I should tell you about that first.
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Old 12-16-2005, 12:28 AM   #2
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I thought it was some interesting short fiction, though in my opinion it was hard to suspend my disbelief regarding the story's premise. Vampires being accepted by society to the point where they are granted rights, and not actually eliminated from the face of the Earth, is a little tough to accept for me. However, the hunt itself was interesting. For a short story, it still seems a bit too short. It would be nice to expand on the hunt itself; I believe it would help draw the reader in more overall, which would help make the ending stronger.
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Old 12-16-2005, 12:32 AM   #3
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I like it, but it does seem to have a lot of influence from the Anita Blake series.
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Old 12-20-2005, 09:34 AM   #4
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I definitely think that one day it could be un-PC to kill vampires. I mean, look at what we already have accepted into our government, we're definitely on our way there. It's a good satirical way of pointing out how *everyone* these days is crying "media abuse! meh meh meh...." you know? I liked it.
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Old 12-29-2005, 05:10 PM   #5
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good, fun action with a twist at the end that made me sad - after all, the thought of acid-filled breasts is... is... jesus christ, it's just plain awful.

as far as civilization's willingness to grant rights to, and allow beings with the intent to do harm an invitation into society, proper - shit, we're already there. illegal aliens enter this country daily and civilization is already arguing against getting rid of their law-breaking asses.

a quick, fun read overall. thanx.
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Old 02-21-2006, 12:08 PM   #6
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So, who is that dude up on that catwalk on Alex's site? That sure as heck isn't the you I thought you were, DJS.

Ya know I love you down under dudes. Wind up the mystery clock before time runs out, or i'll come poke you in the EYE, again!

:::mocking laughter:::

I luv yer writing, you know... >:-)


Love Beyond Death,

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Old 04-01-2006, 01:44 AM   #7
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Aren't you a bit scared of putting out your number like that on the Net? The Internet is not safe, there are tons of lurkers, perverts...
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Old 04-07-2006, 07:21 AM   #8
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The story reads quite well, and if you accept the social situation it makes a bit of sense.

After a minority commits a crime, its all guns out. It could be a theme within the whole story, intended or unintended. If it is to be a longer story, I think it has to be explored to ad to the theme.

the details of the kill and sudge are nice.

Liked to read it (!), all of it, and its far more easy to comment then to create.
It does have potential.
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Old 04-22-2006, 02:07 PM   #9
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whata waste you fail
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Old 04-22-2006, 07:27 PM   #10
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Old 05-03-2009, 12:06 AM   #11
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This actually wasn't as horrifically bad as I remember it being. I mean it's stupid, like MASSIVELY stupid, but if you read it with a melodramatic sin-city rasp in your voice it's at least entertaining in a pulpy 90's sort of "so bad it's good" kind of way.

My main gripe is that ACID DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY. You can't simply fill plastic breast-implants with acid that dissolves flesh and wood in a couple of seconds and expect it to not devour the bag surrounding the implants, and regenerating vampire skin certainly wouldn't regenerate fast enough to keep that kind of acid in there. Plus, what's the point of a defense mechanism that only takes effect after you die? yeah I know the guy talks about getting jumped by a staked vamp, but that's retarded. The heart is already pierced, the damn thing should be dead.
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