Roommate trouble

gothicusmaximus · 11-08-2011, 11:49 AM

Two new roommates moved in with me last week. From what I can ascertain, one is an out-of-work graphic designer cum amateur Flamenco dancer, the other is an engineering grad student at MIT, and both are freegans. In certain ways, I couldn't imagine more accommodating cohabitants-- they're quiet, they have about the same hours I do, they don't hog the TV, and they generally keep to their own space. On the other hand, they keep pissing on the floor and it smells kind of like the hantavirus.
I've tried bringing up my concerns in the most polite manner possible, but they're totally unresponsive, and while I don't want to turn anybody out into a Massachusetts winter, this simply can't continue. Any advice?

JCC · 11-08-2011, 12:04 PM

Accuse them of being middle class. Middle-class hippies hate being told they're middle class so much that if you keep doing it they'll stop trying to convince you of their working man's credentials and just leave in a dramatic manner while calling you an asshole.

Grausamkeit · 11-08-2011, 01:18 PM

Wow....pissing on the floor....

And these are adults? They're probably planning on killing you and eating your skin. Boot their asses out the door.

wolf moon · 11-08-2011, 03:39 PM

Aren't freegans supposed to avoid doing capitalist things like paying rent?

Also, if they are literally pissing on the floor I vote you turn them out into the cold. You can feel okay with it because it's not technically winter yet. Turning people out into a cold autumn night is much less morally questionable.

Grausamkeit · 11-08-2011, 03:42 PM

Moonie's got the right of it. Autumn is far less cold than winter. It's not like they'll freeze to death.....unless you wait till winter.

Catch · 11-08-2011, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gothicusmaximus

Two new roommates moved in with me last week. From what I can ascertain, one is an out-of-work graphic designer cum amateur Flamenco dancer, the other is an engineering grad student at MIT, and both are freegans. In certain ways, I couldn't imagine more accommodating cohabitants-- they're quiet, they have about the same hours I do, they don't hog the TV, and they generally keep to their own space. On the other hand, they keep pissing on the floor and it smells kind of like the hantavirus.
I've tried bringing up my concerns in the most polite manner possible, but they're totally unresponsive, and while I don't want to turn anybody out into a Massachusetts winter, this simply can't continue. Any advice?

These are people not dogs?

Miss Absynthe · 11-08-2011, 09:40 PM

Are they actually pissing on the floor, or are they using the toilet but with really bad aim?

Because if they are using the toilet and just not aiming well (and therefore missing the toilet) you can put a ping pong ball withh a target drawn on it in the toilet bowl - it seems like a fun game to hit it, but really it just makes sure that people are concentrating on peeing IN the actual toilet.

It is a trick that is used when toilet training kids, but I have used it with a flatmate who kept missing when he'd had too much to drink and it worked.

Acharis · 11-08-2011, 11:01 PM

Wait until they find dumpster beer... catheterize their prone forms, turning if necessary.

If they complain, go on an outraged rant about catheters preventing landfill stuffed with nappies. ^_^

But seriously? I'd just yell at them and tell them to clean up after themselves if there's actual sprinklage. My housemate used to do that and the place smelled like a sewer.

Catch · 11-08-2011, 11:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Absynthe

Are they actually pissing on the floor, or are they using the toilet but with really bad aim?

Because if they are using the toilet and just not aiming well (and therefore missing the toilet) you can put a ping pong ball withh a target drawn on it in the toilet bowl - it seems like a fun game to hit it, but really it just makes sure that people are concentrating on peeing IN the actual toilet.

It is a trick that is used when toilet training kids, but I have used it with a flatmate who kept missing when he'd had too much to drink and it worked.

Okay, so Gothicus is a pedophile harboring two three year olds in his apartment, but they do stand on two legs, or are they still learning how to walk. They are so cute at that age.

Kasdeja · 11-09-2011, 12:06 AM

I remember this guy named Chumley who used to piss in the living room corner of my friend's apartment.

We never saw him again after they kicked him out... all for the better, I think.

Miss Absynthe · 11-09-2011, 01:01 AM

I flatted with a guy who took a piss in the washing machine because he was drunk and thought that it was a urinal.

His own clothes were in there.

Fuck me, but I love karma.

Grausamkeit · 11-09-2011, 06:28 AM

Bex, I hate you, fuck you. You don't go around accusing people of shit like that.

Purepsycho · 02-18-2012, 07:13 PM

I'd totally go for the 3 strikes and their out rule. Give them a written warning on the 3rd time which says if it doesn't improve you will have no option but to kick them out. Theres absolutely no excuse for that sort of behaviour.

Do you not have any terms and conditions for when people move in? Makes it so much easier to kick them out when you can show them that they broke the Ts&Cs

Despanan · 02-21-2012, 08:09 AM

Lay out poison and get a cat.

You guys are stupid.