Gothic.net News Horror Gothic Lifestyle Fiction Movies Books and Literature Dark TV VIP Horror Professionals Professional Writing Tips Links Gothic Forum




Go Back   Gothic.net Community > Boards > Literature
Register Blogs FAQ Community Calendar Today's Posts Search

Literature Please come visit. People get upset, write poetry about it, and post it here. Sometimes we also talk about books.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 01-01-2008, 11:46 PM   #1
bialzabud
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: San diego
Posts: 1
Is this Alrighyt

What’s the Kosher thing to do?


Can I Die,
Until I do something appropriate?
I want to be numb until those
Circumstances arise.
I’m not sure
If it matters to see
All the hateful faces,
Laugh when I’m on my good behavior:

I’m quite the pleasant guy.

Its sucks when I see something (someone)
I hate.
He’s killing the world,
(What I care about),
In such a minor way;
Such an asshole
That begins an avalanche
Of destruction,
And
Thinking ahead,
I overreact.
In this moment
Stealing his cloak,
Becoming the burdener of hate.
Of course, I’m too ignorant to carry out,
And too abashed to bare it.

People hate you for what you know you did wrong,
And laugh when you don’t know any better,
(Really, do we think anybody as a pet)?
bialzabud is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-06-2008, 03:20 PM   #2
StasisInDarkness
 
StasisInDarkness's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Bard College
Posts: 256
I'm a sucker for parentheses in poems, but that doesn't redeem this piece. There are some good elements, some decent lines, but overall, I'm not sure the poem works. That said, I really like the title and the last line!
StasisInDarkness is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:39 AM.