The BF always discusses moving away.

[Pineapple_Juice]

And I hate it. I know it's stupid but I don't want to live anywhere else but Orange County and I've been several places. I don't like redneck little podunk nothing towns where you have to drive 30 miles to get to a proper grocery store. I don't like not having things conveniently located. I don't like farmers or cowboys or country folk. I hate being places that are months or years behind everyone else. Whenever I go places like this I feel like I'm in the friggin' twilight zone and I just want to go home where everything is normal.

He wants to go to the most boring redneck old people state in the world and I don't know what would suck more- having him go and us not be us anymore or going with him and living in the most country-music soaked cowboy hat wearing frog-gigging Republican state in America, 1,000 miles away from civilization and normal people.

Poop on everywhere in America that's not California.

[Alan]

Originally Posted by Pineapple_Juice

He wants to go to the most boring redneck old people state in the world

Kentucky??

[Solumina]

Even the most backwater states have some good cities, just look at Virginia, the mountainous parts are rather...well...under developed but the coast and northern Virginal both have some exceptional urban environments, not everything fits the stereotype.

[skateboard pro]

what kind of goth lives in the OC?? not very hardcore, how can you even call urself goth?? grow a spine and move to detroit

[Renatus]

Originally Posted by Pineapple_Juice

And I hate it. I know it's stupid but I don't want to live anywhere else but Orange County and I've been several places. I don't like redneck little podunk nothing towns where you have to drive 30 miles to get to a proper grocery store. I don't like not having things conveniently located. I don't like farmers or cowboys or country folk. I hate being places that are months or years behind everyone else. Whenever I go places like this I feel like I'm in the friggin' twilight zone and I just want to go home where everything is normal.

He wants to go to the most boring redneck old people state in the world and I don't know what would suck more- having him go and us not be us anymore or going with him and living in the most country-music soaked cowboy hat wearing frog-gigging Republican state in America, 1,000 miles away from civilization and normal people.

Poop on everywhere in America that's not California.

*clears throat* I would hardly consider California a gem, though it has it's uses. Have you ever been in a forest, and gone up a tower to look over it all, at hills full of red and gold hills and valleys for miles around. Have you ever gone through a forst path with foliage all around you, roots sticking out of the ground and a trail that practicly begs you to keep moving forward? Have you ever seen the land covered in a blanket of white snow, so soft yet soo delicate, it seems almost a shame to touch it, like a perfectly done wedding cake? Have you ever seen the streams of spring, that feel soo cool and refreshing even before you even touch it? There is far more to America than California will ever show you single handed.
Tell me how can California beat that?

[Solumina]

Originally Posted by Renatus

*clears throat* I would hardly consider California a gem, though it has it's uses. Have you ever been in a forest, and gone up a tower to look over it all, at hills full of red and gold hills and valleys for miles around. Have you ever gone through a forest path with foliage all around you, roots sticking out of the ground and a trail that practicably begs you to keep moving forward? Have you ever seen the land covered in a blanket of white snow, so soft yet soo delicate, it seems almost a shame to touch it, like a perfectly done wedding cake? Have you ever seen the streams of spring, that feel soo cool and refreshing even before you even touch it?

I've seen and done all of that and as lovely as it is, it is really more of a weekend kind of thing. I like being surrounded by civilization, I like having FiOS, I like having people who live nearby. Growing up in the country had some wonderful aspect that I will always cherish, but at heart I'm a city kind of girl.

[Renatus]

Originally Posted by Solumina

I've seen and done all of that and as lovely as it is, it is really more of a weekend kind of thing. I like being surrounded by civilization, I like having FiOS, I like having people who live nearby. Growing up in the country had some wonderful aspect that I will always cherish, but at heart I'm a city kind of girl.

Yeah I'm a city kind of person too but my point is not that she is puting down the great outdoors, my point is that she is putting down the rest of America, sure our politics suck, but it is a beautiful country.

[Joker_in_the_Pack]

Originally Posted by Pineapple_Juice

And I hate it. I know it's stupid but I don't want to live anywhere else but Orange County and I've been several places. I don't like redneck little podunk nothing towns where you have to drive 30 miles to get to a proper grocery store. I don't like not having things conveniently located. I don't like farmers or cowboys or country folk. I hate being places that are months or years behind everyone else. Whenever I go places like this I feel like I'm in the friggin' twilight zone and I just want to go home where everything is normal.

He wants to go to the most boring redneck old people state in the world and I don't know what would suck more- having him go and us not be us anymore or going with him and living in the most country-music soaked cowboy hat wearing frog-gigging Republican state in America, 1,000 miles away from civilization and normal people.

Poop on everywhere in America that's not California.

Orange County is rather conservative ...

Just pointing that out.

[Ophelia's Snorkel]

What exactly is drawing him to the new place? Job offer, family, something else?
Is this a goal you can be enthusiastic about and share?

I guess what I'm getting at is, you and your BF may have the same ultimate goals and desires in the long term; he may think this move would help you achieve them. otoh, perhaps you two envision completely different scenarios for your futures. Best to sort it out now before either of you makes a drastic move.

[Onyx]

Originally Posted by Pineapple_Juice

And I hate it. I know it's stupid but I don't want to live anywhere else but Orange County and I've been several places. I don't like redneck little podunk nothing towns where you have to drive 30 miles to get to a proper grocery store. I don't like not having things conveniently located. I don't like farmers or cowboys or country folk. I hate being places that are months or years behind everyone else. Whenever I go places like this I feel like I'm in the friggin' twilight zone and I just want to go home where everything is normal.

He wants to go to the most boring redneck old people state in the world and I don't know what would suck more- having him go and us not be us anymore or going with him and living in the most country-music soaked cowboy hat wearing frog-gigging Republican state in America, 1,000 miles away from civilization and normal people.

Poop on everywhere in America that's not California.

Poor Pineapple, I know the feeling. Well, except in reverse. I hate Missouri with a fucking passion. I was born and, with he exception of a couple of years spent in Texas, raised in the Bay Area. Until now, every place I've lived was urban and that's the lifestyle I prefer for pretty much the exact same reasons you listed. The only thing I would add is cost of living. Everyone thinks cost of living is so much lower here in the Midwest but it isn't. Sorry, I consider not being bored out of my mind as being part of my cost of living. Everywhere else that I've lived I just went "downtown" when I wanted something to do. Downtown being either within my walking distance or a dollar bus ride back and forth, though if that were the case I'd usually have a $30 monthly bus pass, making a trip downtown and back cost no more than what was already carved out of my budget for transportation to and from work. While there I may spend a few bucks on something to eat or drink but I would have spent that at home anyway.

Compare that to living here in Missouri. When I first moved here food seemed to be a lot cheaper but that really isn't the case any longer. There's no central place that everyone hangs out so I have to pay for a phone to make contact with someone to hang out with. Then, as you mentioned, having to drive everywhere because everything is so far apart and there isn't shit for mass transit to speak of. There's something resembling mass transit in Springfield, however, access from half the city to the other stops at like 8pm and none at all on Sunday, holidays or other special schedules. We spend hundreds of dollars a month on gas to get around, which pretty much eats up the savings from rent. Then there's costs like cable, that I never bothered with anywhere else, because there's nothing else to do but watch TV and regular reception is worse than anywhere I've lived except New Orleans. Shit, most of the time I didn't even have Internet access, just went to the library or University to check my email or anything else I'd spend time on the Internet with, which is a lot more time here because of nothing to do.

The problem is my wife and her grandmother. When we moved up here, over six years ago, it was supposed to be temporary. Just come up, meet with contractors and relators to get her grandmother's second house fixed, which was purchased for her mother and her and no longer needed because neither lived in the area, and get the house sold. For the few months of our time that it took living here until the house sold we were going to get a quarter of the proceeds, around $20k. Well, we met with the contractors and picked one out and then it never went anywhere. Next thing I know years have gone by, we're still living here and no closer to the house being ready to be sold.

Now we tend to get into fights about it every few months and at one point we even split up and I moved back to New Orleans. We got back together during her yearly visit to her parents, who also live in New Orleans. Like every time the fight about Missouri got serious, promises were made that she'd start pushing to get the house sold so we could move. At one point I was even going to stay in New Orleans and either the house was going to get sold or she was going to lock it up and leave it until her grandmother died, at which point the house would belong to her mother and her, and the house would get sold off right away with us receiving half the money.

I was stupid enough to move back to help and that was two years ago. At this point I'm in the same position as you. Either we're going to stay together in a place where I'm miserable or I'm going to leave her. Sure, it will hurt but the pain will fade a lot faster than I see any hopes of getting the hell out of here. It's pretty much just a matter of figuring out how to get out of here without starting out broke and homeless where ever I move to while not taking off with a whole pay check and leaving her here fucked, though I'm sure if I did it her grandmother would give her the money to get by.

The current plan is that I'm going to take a break from here in a couple of months by going back to New Orleans to work the tourist season. Though, I have no plans of ever coming back.

[korinna5555]

Originally Posted by Alan

Kentucky??

West By God Virginia!




Living in the middle of nowhere has it's upsides and it's downsides. When I move, I WILL miss being able to go outside at night and not see a single streetlight. Then again, I have to drive twenty minutes to buy groceries.

[Solumina]

Psh you should be able to get to one in 15, hell I can get there in 15 ^_^

[Pineapple_Juice]

Well he has a relative out there who says they're handing out jobs like crazy in his profession, and the cost of living is cheaper. Furthermore, in said profession they give you money to be able to buy a house, which is something he really wants. Also, I'd get free classes from the college if he gets a job there and we get married as I'm still in school and they give free classes to family.

I'm not sure if those things (besides the amount of jobs they need) are any different from California. I haven't checked. I know most, if not all colleges offer the deal about free classes to family members of staff.

[Mr E Nigma]

What state is he talking about moving too?

And Renatus, California actually probably has the most diverse geography of any state in the US. There are loads of mountains to climb or hike, there's a lot of national parks over that way and some of the best snowboarding experiences can be had in California, I know from experience. California, being a big state, actually does have the luxury of being able to show someone almost every aspect of life that most people yearn for, that's why it's so popular. Everyone loves it for different reasons.

I live in Richmond, VA. 10 minutes outside of the city and your in the boonies, another 40 minutes and your in the middle of nowhere.

Like Solumina said, everywhere has it's bit of city developed area Pineapple, maybe visit the place and see how it feels before deciding you hate it?