"Maybe"

[Anarasha]

This has got to be the most annoying word in the entire english vocabulary.
Whenever someone answers with "Maybe" what the fuck are you supposed to expect?
"Are you coming over for dinner tonight?" "Maybe."
"Will you go pick up the kids at school?" "Maybe."
I truly despise the word maybe.
There is no reasonable way to react to a "Maybe" as it truly can mean either yes or no.
It will either disappoint you, only to catch you by surprise and leaving you with no chance to have prepared for that "Maybe" to be a yes, or it will leave you excited only to be majorly disappointed.
Rarely do you ever hit straight on a "Maybe" under any circumstances.

And I think I'm bored.

[JCC]

You can't decide everything instantly. When you're unsure, you say "maybe" on the understanding that you'll answer later. Nothing wrong with that.

[Anarasha]

That is not the maybe that annoys me.
The maybe that annoys me is the maybe that is expected by the sinner to be a valid answer without followup.

[gothicusmaximus]

So really you don't hate the word 'maybe'. You hate that no one wants to hang out with you, and that people try to be nice about it.

[Anarasha]

Well, no. I came to terms with that.

[Ben Lahnger]

If you came to terms with that, then when they tell you "maybe" (meaning "I don't want to be mean and say no so I'm saying maybe but I'm not going to show") you shouldn't be bothered by it.

[Anarasha]

That's not actually it :P
Despite what anyone in here may believe, the people around me actually aren't avoiding me.
It's just one of those issues that I bring up when I'm bored o.o

[Ben Lahnger]

I think you're bored too.

And as far as whether you have a good complaint in being upset with people who respond to your questions with the answer "maybe", all I can say is ... maybe.

*You had to know that was coming.*

[ape descendant]

You can always do what tend to do.. treat maybe's like no's right off the bat, during the conversation.

Example:

Me: Do you want to come over and drinks some beers with me tonight?

Well Meaning Friend: Maybe.

Me: Ah, its cool, we'll do it on a night that's better for you later.

*bows*

[JCC]

Or maybe you could treat maybes like everyone that's sane treats the word maybe.

Me: Do you want to come over and drink some beers with me tonight?

Well-meaning friend: Maybe.

Me: Aight man, get back to me later.

Treating 'maybe' like 'no' is just dumb, it's just as stupid as if you took 'maybe' to always mean 'yes'.

[Apathy's_Child]

I recommend immersion therapy.

[Anarasha]

You have all completely misunderstood the issue.
Maybe as for when you actually don't know and intend to get back to someone, sure. I do that too.
Maybe as a valid answer with no followup? No.
I hate whenever this happens:
Me: "So, are you coming over tonight?"
Person: "Maybe"
Me: *calls later* "Why didn't you get back to me?"
Person: "I said maybe, and I couldn't come. I just assumed you knew."

THAT is the maybe that should go die. Or rather, the misuse of it.

[ape descendant]

Originally Posted by JCC

Treating 'maybe' like 'no' is just dumb, it's just as stupid as if you took 'maybe' to always mean 'yes'.

Yeah, but some of us don't like to wait all day to be gotten back to.. which happens a little too much. It should be taken on a case by case basis.

Assuming "maybe" to be negative relieves the ambiguity of the statement, and if one's friends are decently intelligent they'll learn to say "yes" when they mean it and "no" when they mean it, instead of wallowing in a pit of indecisiveness.

Now if "maybe" is followed by reasons and contingencies, then it should be respected for what it is, and is kinda retarded to assume either positive or negative as one understands the reason behind the apparent ambivalence.

I'm not a big fan of being "left hanging" so there are times when I just make the call, as I'd rather make other plans if they're thinking of blowing the whole thing off anyway.... especially after getting everything prepared for a fun evening with friends, when I could have been doing something else.

Life is just too damned short to spend it waiting for every one else to make up their minds.

[Anarasha]

Thank you!
Finally someone who gets it =)

[JCC]

Originally Posted by ape descendant

Yeah, but some of us don't like to wait all day to be gotten back to.. which happens a little too much. It should be taken on a case by case basis.

Then don't ask at all. Some people have shit to do, and before they know whether they can do shit with you, they have to know whether they have any shit already scheduled to do, and whether that shit is of greater gravitas than the shit you propose. The fact that you don't have shit to do and so you can just pop an answer out without hesitation says more about your shortcomings than the shortcomings of your friends who happen to actually think about things from time to time.

[Anarasha]

JCC - That was not the point. Of course if there is a chance something else is scheduled, a maybe will do.
But getting back to the person close to said shit only to blow it off is just not okay.
It doesn't take all day and all night to check your calender leaf for the day.

[JCC]

That's nothing to do with the word maybe and everything to do with your friends being lazy. Ape_descendant has actually said that saying "maybe" is a sign that you are unintelligent, because intelligent people just say "yes" or "no". Intelligent people apparently don't think.

[Solumina]

I don't like being left hanging, I doubt anyone does. When I want to go out with a friend and they say maybe I'll give them a ring if I'm about to start getting ready and I haven't heard back yet. That way I'm not waiting around and if they did something as normal as just loosing track of time then they still have time to get ready to go out without having to pass because they don't want to rush around or make the whole group wait if others will be joining as well.

I get being annoyed by someone saying that they will be there and then they don’t show, that sucks, and get I being annoyed if someone saying that they can’t make it then showing up after other plans have been made but I don’t get the issue with maybe.

[ape descendant]

Originally Posted by JCC

Then don't ask at all. Some people have shit to do, and before they know whether they can do shit with you, they have to know whether they have any shit already scheduled to do, and whether that shit is of greater gravitas than the shit you propose. The fact that you don't have shit to do and so you can just pop an answer out without hesitation says more about your shortcomings than the shortcomings of your friends who happen to actually think about things from time to time.

Wow, you apparently didn't read the entirety of what I said.

I explained provisions and such. I treated reasons for not being able to come or not. And if you had actually read what I said and understood it, you would know that, instead of going off half cocked.

[Anarasha]

I know it doesn't have anything to do with the word "Maybe" directly.
I was bored and tired when I wrote this, and so it came out wrong.
To be honest, I can't even remember the specific situation that ticked me off that day o.o

[TheFeatheredÆtheling]

There are certainly times when answering "maybe" is appropriate. However, when it comes to plans that are time-consuming, expensive, etc; it's usually preferrable to decline an invitation if there is reasonable doubt that you can attend. This might be dissapointing to the one giving the invitation, but it's much less dissapointing than indicating that you might be able to come when it doesn't turn out that way. Decisiveness is an admirable trait. Being consistently direct about invitations and other cooperative endeavours will show others that you are dependable and considerate. It definitely pays off in the long term.

[ape descendant]

Exactly my point, put far more eloquently and "sense-makey" than I would have thought to.