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Literature Please come visit. People get upset, write poetry about it, and post it here. Sometimes we also talk about books.

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Old 05-05-2020, 08:23 PM   #1
mindless1
 
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Posts: 650
Gothic Utopia

She wrote it under a window of a sapphire blue
a secret love story between the two
In a utopian garden who picked apples from a tree.
A black man in a tie and suit
tapped his watch and told me I was running out of time
Rome crumbled beneath me and I was arrested for
an alleged crime.

I said I didn’t want this heroin
that he injected into me
I told him that I was the one in power
over his reality.

And he did everything he could to bury me
In his infinite supernatural lie
His chaotic experiments and I...
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Old 05-05-2020, 10:14 PM   #2
TrivialMorose
 
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Posts: 327
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Oh, wow, all the Auld Ones are awakening. This must really be the end-times...

Nice poem, too, I had fun with it.

This line, though:
In a utopian garden who picked apples from a tree.

Who's exactly picking the apples?
I'm assuming it's the "she", but it's not really well articulated.
Also, at first glance the "she" and the "I" in this story sounded like the same person... Are they the same? Or not? After a bit of pondering, I came to rest on the latter.
So, assuming that the "she" and "I" are not the same person...
Is the woman writing I into existence after eating the fruit of knowledge? She's writing it on a window, because she's outside of this world of I's, looking in...
Do I get it? Do I not?
Do I get a cookie? I don't want a cookie, though.
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