Can I freely cry now?

Shyantra · 03-22-2007, 01:04 PM

As some, if not all, know my gramp has lung cancer. My gram is asking the doctors how long he has left. My gramp and I were extremely close.

And it tears me to see him like this, even though he didn't want me to. Now I received a birthday card from them. And tears want to come out but I don't know if I want to let them out. *tears slide down the cheeks* Too late.

Sable_Rose · 03-22-2007, 01:09 PM

Crying is good, it helps relieve the grief.

Underwater Ophelia · 03-22-2007, 01:12 PM

Just know that no one lives forever, so make the most of your time with him now. Make sure you tell him how much you love him and how much you'll miss him. I don't know what you believe in, but maybe he'll live on in another form, and he'll always know how you cared for him and he'll always care for you.

Shyantra · 03-22-2007, 01:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

he'll always know how you cared for him and he'll always care for you.

Thanx Ophelia (I can call you that right?). I needed a reminder of that.

bleedingheart344 · 03-22-2007, 01:24 PM

And I really hope that you feel better Shyantra, remember, I'm always there to help.

Crying_Crimson_Tears · 03-22-2007, 01:53 PM

Aw sweetheart, crying can help. It relieves some of that pain that is built up. I'm here if you need me sweetie.

Vako · 03-22-2007, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shyantra

As some, if not all, know my gramp has lung cancer. My gram is asking the doctors how long he has left. My gramp and I were extremely close.

And it tears me to see him like this, even though he didn't want me to. Now I received a birthday card from them. And tears want to come out but I don't know if I want to let them out. *tears slide down the cheeks* Too late.

Crying is O.K. There is no shame in it. Especially on the sickness of your gramp. My grandparents are long gone. It took me months after the death of my grandmother to even be able to cry. When my husband passed away I was too sad to even cry. I'm still not "over it". I don't know if I'll ever be. Because of my spiritual beliefs, I do believe that there is a soul that survives after the physical body dies, so I have solice in my faith. According to my faith, your gramp's spirit is eternal.

Underwater Ophelia · 03-22-2007, 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shyantra

Thanx Ophelia (I can call you that right?). I needed a reminder of that.

You can call me whatever you like. And if you'd like to talk about this, or anything else, just IM me. I'm tobreakafever on AIM.

KontanKarite · 03-22-2007, 03:16 PM

bound_soul_reaper@yahooDOTcom

My grandfathers both died when I was gone, essentially. The last one was a complete surprise.

If you ever want to talk about it, I can listen. I may not be able to give sage advice as I used to, but for what it's worth, I may be able to conjure up some comforting words.

MollyMac · 03-22-2007, 08:07 PM

If I was there, I'd give you a hug. Nothing will make any of this easier. Most, if not all, of us have been in a situation like this and would not wish it upon anyone. I am sorry. I am so sorry.

Take comfort in his days, take solace in your nights. Know that stories never end, and know that endings never are. There is no cessation, only transformation- and we are all energy. Energy is neither created not destroyed- it is merely altered.

And he loves you. He always has, he always will, and he does.

HumanePain · 03-23-2007, 03:24 AM

::hugs Shyantra::

wishcat · 03-23-2007, 06:57 AM

Aww sweetie I'm sorry to hear that. Crying is really good for you, it's not good to hold back tears and contain your emotions. Feel free to cry and let it all out, you'll feel alot better afterwards. I envy you because you still have your grandparents. I never met my grandfathers and my grandmothers died when I was really young. Now all I have is a mother who is really sick and is fighting for her life. All I can say is that your grandfather is still alive and here with you, so make the most of the time that you do have with him. Cherish every moment as much as you can before it's too late.

**Wishcat Hugs Shyantra**

Shyantra · 03-23-2007, 07:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bleedingheart344

And I really hope that you feel better Shyantra, remember, I'm always there to help.

I know that, BH344. Your a good guy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by CCT

Aw sweetheart, crying can help. It relieves some of that pain that is built up. I'm here if you need me sweetie.

Thanks.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vako

Because of my spiritual beliefs, I do believe that there is a soul that survives after the physical body dies, so I have solice in my faith. According to my faith, your gramp's spirit is eternal.

My beliefs are of those that you come back into life after death, but is it selfish of me to say that I don't want him to leave me?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ophelia

You can call me whatever you like. And if you'd like to talk about this, or anything else, just IM me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by KontanKarite

If you ever want to talk about it, I can listen. I may not be able to give sage advice as I used to, but for what it's worth, I may be able to conjure up some comforting words.

Thanks you guys. I might take you up on that offer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MollyMac

Take comfort in his days, take solace in your nights. Know that stories never end, and know that endings never are. There is no cessation, only transformation- and we are all energy. Energy is neither created not destroyed- it is merely altered.And he loves you. He always has, he always will, and he does.

That brought them forth. Now I can't stop crying because that was deep.

Quote:

Originally Posted by wishcat

Aww sweetie I'm sorry to hear that. Crying is really good for you, it's not good to hold back tears and contain your emotions. Feel free to cry and let it all out, you'll feel alot better afterwards.

I have a pet peeve of not wanting to show emotions to the public. So most nights (when Im alone), I cry myself to sleep.

Quote:

Originally Posted by wishcat

I never met my grandfathers and my grandmothers died when I was really young. Now all I have is a mother who is really sick and is fighting for her life.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Super Spright

If your grandfather does pass away soon, do not be like me. I have severe abandonment issues now since my father passed. Try to accept the fact that people will die, and will go away someday. It's part of life to die.

I do accept the fact that people die. I just don't want him to die now, near my birthday. I have had so many bad memories around my birthday that I don't want to add this to the list.

Caught · 03-23-2007, 08:16 AM

It really hurts when someone is so sick and you know they'll die... You feel like you can't do a thing and maybe that's true, I haven't figured it out yet. You'll get really hurt, there's no use denying that, but at least you can have a proper goodbye... I feel so sorry for you =( Just try to hang on, you get a lot of support I'm sure. I wish you the best support and I hope your grandfather is not suffering too much... *hug*

October_Night · 03-23-2007, 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shyantra

As some, if not all, know my gramp has lung cancer. My gram is asking the doctors how long he has left. My gramp and I were extremely close.

And it tears me to see him like this, even though he didn't want me to. Now I received a birthday card from them. And tears want to come out but I don't know if I want to let them out. *tears slide down the cheeks* Too late.

I'm soory to hear that.
Have good cry, it helps.

DarkHeartedDemoness · 03-24-2007, 06:59 AM

I'm here.

Call me.

I'm at work today, but it's the weekend, so no one really gives a flying fuck if my cell phone is constantly playing the Super Mario Bros theme song. Seriously, call me.

thosewhomourn · 04-03-2007, 06:33 AM

I so so sorry that your heart is hurting right now. My grandfather died 4 days ago. You've heard it from several people, but crying really does help. It releases the emotion. I love it when someone I trust just holds me when I cry. It's okay if a card makes you cry b/c it means the love you two share is genuine and deep. For me, it helped to remember my LoLo as he was when he was well and the sweet things he did for me.

Shyantra · 04-03-2007, 04:45 PM

The doctors gave me an update on his progress saying he would last for another 3-6 months, but I got news today saying he won't last the rest of the week.

LaKeesha · 04-03-2007, 04:51 PM

I am really sorry for your loss. I know there is really nothing anyone can do except make the passing of a loved one easier. Unfortunately, it helps little because it is part of life. I drove across the state of Florida to help out a friend who's mother is dying of cancer. They can't afford home care and it is very hard on my friend. I am doing what I can.

MollyMac · 04-03-2007, 04:59 PM

Shy-

The one thing I know is the one thing I will tell you about prognoses... they aren't dependable. They are simply numbers, and not even numbers steeped in math, but the best guess of a doctor (an artist of a scientist). Don't reduce your time with him to numbers, do not wait it out.

I hope that your time, no matter how little or how much, will be spent well, being with your grandfather as only you can, appreciating each other.

That being said-

(hugs)

There is nothing anyone can say to make it better, I know. But know that love lasts, no matter what.

Shyantra · 04-03-2007, 06:39 PM

I just don't know what to do to help him.

The other day he started getting up by himself and now I get a message like this. It shattered my hope that he might be getting better.

MollyMac · 04-03-2007, 08:19 PM

Sometimes, all you can do is be there and bet the person he loves. It sucks, but there are no magic wands. Life turns on a dime, believe me. And it turns for good as well as bad, keep that in mind. Be there, show up, smile a little, cry some, what he needs and wants is (i bet) for you to be happy. Let him see you happy and be happy with him/

Shyantra · 04-08-2007, 07:12 AM

He just died last night. :'(

Valerius · 04-08-2007, 07:17 AM

My condolences go to you. I'm sure he was a good man to have raised a woman like you.

Lucretia_my_Reflection · 04-08-2007, 08:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shyantra

He just died last night. :'(

*hugs* poor dear