I am going to court soon...

[Crying_Crimson_Tears]

I have to go to court for my ex-boyfriend's trial.

First will be a deposition.

Now I am not so worried about that, it's when the trial happens and I have to be in the same room as him.

The stress from this is causing me to have blackouts and horrible flashbacks and nightmares.

I am not handling this well at all.

[Wrath]

As corney as this may sound just be strong
Dont acknowledge his presence dont even look at him....you have done nothing wrong so dont give him the power to inspire fear in you. Trust me what ever he did he wont do in front of others mainly in a court room so you will be quite safe.
The stress over it cant be helped it a part of why things have come to be this way it will most likely be with you for quite some time.
Try doing things thet put you at ease if you have a hobby do it befor bed do the things you find true enjoyment from and you dont have to think about also try not to drink liquor and cut down on caffine intake if you drink soda's coffee ect
I'm not sure how well it will work.....
My dad was a wife abuser and since my mom had us I dont think she realy had time to stress over court or if she did she just hid it realy well..
Good luck

[Anarasha]

I agree. I recently went to court, and I was really nervous too.
I made it through it by the support of my family, and it really helped not to acknowladge the existance of said individual.
I am sure you will be okay, and when you have gone, you can always come back and rant some more to us ^^ I will be here to listen at least.

[HumanePain]

I wish you strength, serenity and calm. Remember you have the support of family and friends, so speak the truth if asked, and even though he was your boyfriend once, don't feel as if the truth betrays him, but rather that it helps him, to get the time and treatment he needs. Remember that and you will be able to look him in the eye with compassion. It is not your fault, he placed himself on this path, so tell the truth and know that it is for the best.
:hugs:

[Starke von Oben]

http://www.associatedcontent.com/art...how.html?cat=7

This should prove useful

[Mir]

I think you're fucking weak.

[Crying_Crimson_Tears]

Thanks to all who are supporting me. I really need it.

[Anarasha]

I am behind you 100% =)
I agree with HumanePain. Be strong and don't let him intimidate you.
Now, I do not know what he did to you, but no matter what happens to him, know that he had it coming.

[Crying_Crimson_Tears]

The story is, he killed his mother.

Who I was very close to. I called her mom, she was basically my mother too.

I don't know if he's psychotic or if he did it with intent, but he was the only one home, so I believe he did it. It just makes me so sad, because he was such a great kid and a very loving boyfriend to me.

And I am scared I am going to mess up some how, or look at him and start crying and get sent away, like back to a psychiatric facility.

[Wrath]

Originally Posted by Crying_Crimson_Tears

The story is, he killed his mother.

Who I was very close to. I called her mom, she was basically my mother too.

I don't know if he's psychotic or if he did it with intent, but he was the only one home, so I believe he did it. It just makes me so sad, because he was such a great kid and a very loving boyfriend to me.

And I am scared I am going to mess up some how, or look at him and start crying and get sent away, like back to a psychiatric facility.

Sounds like a match made in Heaven.....
Fucking Christ there is a thing called way to much information.....Some shit is better left unsaid

[Anarasha]

Wrath - That was fucking insensitive...
CCC - I understand what you mean now... I am absolutely speechless.. It may seem shallow and cliché, but let me know if I can do anything for you at all.

[Wrath]

Originally Posted by Anarasha

Wrath - That was fucking insensitive...

Honestly those were my thoughts to that ------>

The story is, he killed his mother.

Who I was very close to. I called her mom, she was basically my mother too.

I don't know if he's psychotic or if he did it with intent, but he was the only one home, so I believe he did it. It just makes me so sad, because he was such a great kid and a very loving boyfriend to me.

And I am scared I am going to mess up some how, or look at him and start crying and get sent away, like back to a psychiatric facility.

Because its true for me....I honestly felt bad befor reading this...
Now?
How is she going to mess up if she tells the truth? And how would crying and getting emotional ,wich anyone would probably be, end up with her going " back to a psychiatric institution"? If her mental state cant handle a court hearing she can get a doctors diagnosis saying shes not capable of giving testimony in such a setting and i'm sure she would be given different means to do so by.
As much as she may be getting "mentally un-hinged" at the moment there are means to prevent whatever dissaster she's going threw.....Such as asking and or begging her current ,wich i'm sure she has, therapist for some better stabilizing drugs

[Renatus]

Wrath please, this has been a long process, and we here have been supporting her since the day her BF's mother was found dead. It has been a tough process for her, she even went to the "lony bin" as she called it, for 8 days immediately after his arrest. *hugs crimson* cookie?

[Anarasha]

Wrath - What would be wrong with a single nod of recognition, a confirmation of support? Do you have to stick your foot in it completely? Do you think she needs to know that she can just "get some stabilising drugs" or the like?

Crimson - Indeed, I'll bake you a whole batch of cookies and mail them if you want? ^_^

[Wrath]

Originally Posted by Renatus

Wrath please, this has been a long process, and we here have been supporting her since the day her BF's mother was found dead. It has been a tough process for her, she even went to the "lony bin" as she called it, for 8 days immediately after his arrest. *hugs crimson* cookie?

Wrath - What would be wrong with a single nod of recognition, a confirmation of support? Do you have to stick your foot in it completely? Do you think she needs to know that she can just "get some stabilising drugs" or the like?

Crimson - Indeed, I'll bake you a whole batch of cookies and mail them if you want? ^_^

I am pissed. People with obvious problems need to seek real help from a real mental health profesional not people on a forum. She is in obvious need of mental help.
And she posted that crap if she dosent like my opinion she need not read it.
"He was such a loving boyfriend, but I believe he killed her" Jesus
The better part of my kin has spent time in the "loony bin" For those who dont get the help they certainly need from said istitutions it royally pisses me off because she fears them far to much .
Do you think people dont love you or want you arround? Are you aware by delving in to delusions that it only hurts yourself and others? What if you do harm to yourself or someone else you think that will make you happy? It wont. weather it be assholes on a forum or people you see everyday they love and would miss you far more than not getting the mental assistance you need.
Since ive grown up with either the mentally unstable harming someone else or waching the ones you love kill themselves its not a pleasant thing for those left behind to deal with.
Fear of getting stable or spending time in a "loony bin" is not acceptable when the alternative is so much worse.

[Renatus]

Originally Posted by Wrath

I am pissed. People with obvious problems need to seek real help from a real mental health profesional not people on a forum. She is in obvious need of mental help.
And she posted that crap if she dosent like my opinion she need not read it.
"He was such a loving boyfriend, but I believe he killed her" Jesus
The better part of my kin has spent time in the "loony bin" For those who dont get the help they certainly need from said istitutions it royally pisses me off because she fears them far to much .
Do you think people dont love you or want you arround? Are you aware by delving in to delusions that it only hurts yourself and others? What if you do harm to yourself or someone else you think that will make you happy? It wont. weather it be assholes on a forum or people you see everyday they love and would miss you far more than not getting the mental assistance you need.
Since ive grown up with either the mentally unstable harming someone else or waching the ones you love kill themselves its not a pleasant thing for those left behind to deal with.
Fear of getting stable or spending time in a "loony bin" is not acceptable when the alternative is so much worse.

Have you yourself ever spent time yourself in a mental hospital? It's hardly theraputic, I remember the times I spent in a mental hosptal, all it did was make me afraid to go back. The United States mental health system is EXTREMELY poorly funded now days. I remember a nurse I talked to while I was there told me how they used to have the money to take the patients to pools to go swimming and movies. Now days they dont even have the money to get a functioning Nintendo 64, or even a decent library, they had mostly picture books, in the adolesant section of the hospital. All mental hospitals these days do is give you the bare necessities to keep you alive. Oh I should mention I was at the best mental hospital in the area, so if you were to go to one of the other ones the conditions would only go downhill from there.

[Wrath]

I remember a nurse I talked to while I was there told me how they used to have the money to take the patients to pools to go swimming and movies. Now days they dont even have the money to get a functioning Nintendo 64, or even a decent library, they had mostly picture books, in the adolesant section of the hospital.

As far as im concerned those things are not necessities of life . Its not a stay at the Viking nor should it be treated as it is.

All mental hospitals these days do is give you the bare necessities to keep you alive.

Everything else is earned by being a functioning member of society. Otherwise the bare minimums is all you need and most people are lucky to get that.

[Renatus]

Originally Posted by Wrath

As far as im concerned those things are not necessities of life . Its not a stay at the Viking nor should it be treated as it is.



Everything else is earned by being a functioning member of society. Otherwise the bare minimums is all you need and most people are lucky to get that.

A mental hospital isn't supposed to be about the bare minimums, it's supposed to be about treatment, and therapy. I've seen and heard about jails that provide more services than mental hospitals, not to mention my family had to pay for me to stay at the mental hospital. Tell me, does it make sense for a person to have to pay for less services than one would get at a jail for free? Maybe if the hospital stay were free I would understand it better but it wasn't. The mentally ill are not criminals, and most of the time have done society no harm, yet they recieve worse treatment than rapists.

Should the mentally ill start going on crime sprees to get decent care?

Also what the hell is "the viking"?

[msg_themoon]

Mental Hospitals Are The Shit!

Now the only way they helped me out was by giving me a routine, and my being there involuntarily. I had a blast at that place. I played chess with a guy in a wheel chair who tried to kill himself because his ex wouldn't let him see the kids anymore! They fed me! Gave me Bed! Shower! Toilet! It was a good place to think and be alone. The medication didn't help but I fought against it. Plus they say it takes about 2 weeks for the meds to work. Three days after I got out I attempted suicide with the medicine they gave me. It was amazing! Sure I didn't die because I passed out on the bathroom floor. Had I only made it to my bed in time! Anyways After another 3 weeks of three different mental hospitals I think I was finally okay. Only because of the plain rooms and same old boring routine. Now I am in a better place. The main problem they were supposed to fix was the suicidal tendecies, but now I don't believe there's anything wrong with suicide and if I want to do it I can go ahead and do it even if I am so happy I want to do it. The depression is gone, but there is still anger and hatred towards others, which can only be solved by homicide, but that's a little too much!!

Testify!

Mentally crazy people are crazy!

I rode in the back of a squad car with one to court.

P.S.
Since I am tall with long black hair and have high native American Indian features, whenever people, newcomers, saw me in the mental hospital they totally thought it was One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest! I should've ripped that water fountain off the ground for our escape!!!

[Wrath]

A mental hospital isn't supposed to be about the bare minimums, it's supposed to be about treatment, and therapy. I've seen and heard about jails that provide more services than mental hospitals, not to mention my family had to pay for me to stay at the mental hospital. Tell me, does it make sense for a person to have to pay for less services than one would get at a jail for free? Maybe if the hospital stay were free I would understand it better but it wasn't.

Your paying for housing ,three meals a day,electricity,water and lets not forget round the hour nursing care. Thats what the bulk of money goes to. While it may not seem to be fair I dont allocate what funds go where.
If a family member has a loved one put in said place I do believe its their duty to find out what services and amenities are provided. If they are infact paying.
Jails have more things than most hard working people myself included i'd rater not be distracted by that...

The mentally ill are not criminals, and most of the time have done society no harm, yet they recieve worse treatment than rapists

.
While institutions may not be all happiness and light they are not there to provide people with "creature comforts". While I may agree with this its not for comfort of living these places are there. I Didnt mean to say she even belonged in one,I am not as eloquent with my words as others may be regardless, but fear of going to one is no excuse for not seeking help from a psychiatrist. Help wich she needs.

Should the mentally ill start going on crime sprees to get decent care?

Honestly I do believe they do that already then in court claim to be mentally ill or on drugs at the time or drunk ect.....
Perhaps state to state plays a difference in what type of care is given but in the instances I have witnessed i know I hardley had a flat screen tv or playstations at home so yes they did seem better off than me and they got three meals a day when I was lucky to get one Oh and lets not forget they had a washer and dryer where I had to wash my cloths out in the sink because we couldnt afford a laundromat...yeah it was quite horrid.
As I said state to state most likely plays a part but in three different states they seemed better off where they were than most of the people I knew in their own homes.

Also what the hell is "the viking"?

I should have said the Hilton but its the same thing here.

[Anarasha]

Really Wrath, you did not answer the question. Have you ever been at a mental hospital in America? If not, you cannot speak of it.
Luckily, mental hospitals in Denmark are both free AND of decent service. But not everyone has that.
I honestly understand if CCC doesn't wanna go back there.
And do you really believe that it will help any on her traumatic experiances that you just tell her that she's a delusional, mentally unstable troubled dramaqueen in denial? No. So try to show at least some bits of a heart.

[Wrath]

Really Wrath, you did not answer the question. Have you ever been at a mental hospital in America? If not, you cannot speak of it.

Yes I have I just wasnt commited to one so yes I did answer the question if you read them.
And the ones I have seen were rather nice and better than most peoples real homes as ive stated befor.

I honestly understand if CCC doesn't wanna go back there.
And do you really believe that it will help any on her traumatic experiances that you just tell her that she's a delusional, mentally unstable troubled dramaqueen in denial

?
Someone has to I'm not about to coddle someone because pooh their life aint happyy and facing reality is just much to much for them to bare. If anything she will most likely be ripped a new one in court when they mention her lil trips to "the loony bin" think thats more healthy for her?...and if shes not in a stable state of mind it will rapidly go downhill.

No. So try to show at least some bits of a heart.

Sorry attention seeking mental cases arent worthy of a bit of my heart when they refuse to attempt to help themselves and just moan about their pittiful fears of stability.

[Renatus]

Originally Posted by Wrath

Sorry attention seeking mental cases arent worthy of a bit of my heart when they refuse to attempt to help themselves and just moan about their pittiful fears of stability.

Is it attention seeking to ask for help among those whom you have known and cared about for years? Now I know this is just the internet, I know we're not related, but frankly there are many times when I think of those of us on gnet here as a family, if that isn't enough reason to care about somone else I dont know what is, but I do know it is enough for me.

[Saya]

Originally Posted by Wrath

Yes I have I just wasnt commited to one so yes I did answer the question if you read them.
And the ones I have seen were rather nice and better than most peoples real homes as ive stated befor.

?
Someone has to I'm not about to coddle someone because pooh their life aint happyy and facing reality is just much to much for them to bare. If anything she will most likely be ripped a new one in court when they mention her lil trips to "the loony bin" think thats more healthy for her?...and if shes not in a stable state of mind it will rapidly go downhill.



Sorry attention seeking mental cases arent worthy of a bit of my heart when they refuse to attempt to help themselves and just moan about their pittiful fears of stability.

I'm sorry, but she is going through something that a lot of us won't ever have to go through. She isn't bitching about her parents not letting her dress gawffick or her boyfriend ignoring her text messages. You can't say its not too much to bear if someone you loved was murdered by someone else you loved, I hope you never find out either. Also, you don't know her personally so you cannot say she should go to a mental hospital anyway, for all we know she could be stable right now but just understandably very nervous about this. The only person to make that call is like, oh I don't know, a doctor.

If you feel so strongly about how people shouldn't express their problems on a forum, stay away from the WHINING forum, and even if you couldn't, there's a fuckload of other threads here that are made from attention whores trying to make mountains out of mole hills, like the previously mentioned "my parents just don't understand my desire to wear black lipstick" post we get at least biweekly.

[Crying_Crimson_Tears]

I feel as though I am stable. At least I am stable enough to know I needed my medications again.

I don't cut or think about suicide like this used to make me do. I am doing well considering...

I am just very nervous and would prefer not to go through this.

And I thank those who are supporting me, you guys ARE like family, and that helps a lot.

So thanks.