The "Three Simple Steps" Game

Ben Lahnger · 10-02-2009, 10:16 AM

Sort of like Lifehacker lite ... you get to put your recommendation for how others can do/improve/make something or do/improve/make something better. It can be serious or it can be funny. The only rule is, you have to present 3 simple steps. Here are a few examples I cribbed from somewhere else:

How to stop smoking the easy way!
1. Don't have a smoke for one whole day.
2. Repeat.
3. If you do have a cigarette, pretend you didn't.

How to find love
1. You must be at ease with yourself. If you have low self-esteem, try to improve it, by having a nice cup of tea.
2. Meet new people. For example, why not go out to a tea shop and have a nice cup of tea?
3. Oh well, you probably won't find love. Never mind, console yourself with a nice cup of tea.

How to make a cup of tea
1. Boil water.
2. Pour onto tea leaves.
3. Strain water of leaves into cup. Add milk to taste.

So ... I'll start.

How to look like your posting brilliant things in your favorite forum/blog/website
1. Search the google for something brilliant.
2. Copy
3. Paste

Your turn!

Victor "Rilvor" Leonard · 10-02-2009, 10:27 AM

How to defeat an Internet Troll:
1. Turn off computer
2. Turn off monitor
3. Go do something else

Geoluhread · 10-02-2009, 10:59 AM

I like this one =D

But how about if the poster above defines the thing, and the one who posts after says the three steps then says another thing for the poster below?

Ben Lahnger · 10-02-2009, 11:42 AM

Because there are plenty of "previous poster dictates what next poster can do" games on this forum ... and sometimes that can kill a thread. In this particular instance I'm almost certain it would kill this one ... and would also serve to stifle each new potential poster's creativity.

So, thank you, but I'm going to keep this one open ended.

Duane · 10-02-2009, 04:33 PM

How to find happiness

1. Stop looking so hard.
2. sit down and relax.
3. Ignore all the bad, and just live in the good.

Ben Lahnger · 10-02-2009, 09:04 PM

How to imitate a turtle:

1) Wear a sweater with a high collar. A turtleneck sweater would be, well, perfect.
2) Pull your head into the collar whenever anyone looks at you.
3) Move really slow.

Victor "Rilvor" Leonard · 10-02-2009, 09:13 PM

How to become a legal slave:

1. Apply for a job at Wal-mart
2. ????
3. Don't Profit

Anarasha · 10-02-2009, 09:56 PM

How to die slow and painfully:

1. Go find the most steroid-tense, hardworked straight guy you can find.
2. Call him gay.
3. Wait.

korinna5555 · 10-02-2009, 11:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Victor "Rilvor" Leonard

How to become a legal slave:

1. Apply for a job at Wal-mart
2. ????
3. Don't Profit

This would also apply to Target.

How To Write A Gnet Intro:
1. Put on asbestos suit
2. Copy/paste Sticky-ed Questions
3. Edgar Allan Poe

I place emphasis on numbers 1 and 3.

Ben Lahnger · 10-03-2009, 10:05 PM

How to juggle chain saws:

1. Start up three or more chain saws
2. Juggle the chain saws
3. Repeat step 2. ... Oh, never mind.

SweetJane · 10-04-2009, 10:22 AM

How to be a teenager in a Catholic household:

1. Sin
2. Repent
3. Repeat

korinna5555 · 10-04-2009, 10:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SweetJane

How to be a teenager in a Catholic household:

1. Sin
2. Repent
3. Repeat

Bahahahahahahahaha. As someone who was raised Catholic.. spot on. XD

Jaye Jang · 10-04-2009, 05:48 PM

How to become a politician in three easy lessons:

1) Smile 'til it your face hurts.
2) Kiss a million "rug rats."
3) Lie 'like a dog.'

SweetJane · 10-04-2009, 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by korinna5555

Bahahahahahahahaha. As someone who was raised Catholic.. spot on. XD

Haha, there's not a lot of us where I live. I thought it was funny that most of the kids were your typical 'good kids'... and then me and my two best friends would show up to catechism hung-over and wearing sunglasses.

How to hide you hangover-
1.Wear Sun-glasses
2. gargle mouthwash
3. pretend that sunglasses and mouthwash cover the smell of your booz-a-hol soaked clothes.

creature6 · 10-04-2009, 06:18 PM

How to Make a Vegetarian Packet Cake:

Ingredients

* Egg substitute (if vegan)
* Packet cake mix
* Vegan margarine (if vegan)
Steps

1. Check the packaging. There should be no beef fat, tallow, or other animal derivatives sourced from abattoir products if you are a vegetarian. If you are a vegan, check for eggs, milk, whey, and any other animal derived products as with the vegetarian option. You will also need to be cognizant of the additive numbers and where they are derived from.
2. Make cake according to package instructions. If you are vegan, you will need to substitute the butter and egg with vegan margarine and egg replacer.
3. Frost the cake. Check the frosting, as some sugar uses animal derivatives for refining. Get frosting from a health food store if you are not sure.

Ben Lahnger · 10-04-2009, 07:31 PM

Wow! I have no idea if that is a good recipe or not, but it sure stetches the definition of SIMPLE (as in 3 Simple Steps) quite a bit.

The easy way to serenity:

1. Find some bubble wrap.
2. Pop some of the bubbles.
3. Repeat as necessary.

CallMeDeth · 10-04-2009, 07:43 PM

How to mourn

1. Wear black and look downtrodden
2. Be depressed/tearful/angry at the world
3. Get over it!

or Alternatively,
3. repeat

creature6 · 10-04-2009, 07:46 PM

well that's the closest i can get to simplicity.

natural insomnia cures:

what to do Before You Go to Sleep.

1. Think cleanliness. If your environment is cluttered and not clean, then it will stimulate your mind into thinking about things. Whether you are thinking about cleaning up or are considering the things surrounding the clutter, it can lead to specific problems with sleep. You can combine this with a warm bath to help slow you down and to make sure that you feel clean when you are ready to rest. This will help to slow you down and will remove all thoughts of clutter from your body.

2. Think of your surroundings. One of the problems with sleep that you can easily tackle for easy insomnia cures is linked to noise and light. These both stimulate the senses and can keep you awake at night. Getting a darker covering for your window, turning off sound and using earplugs can all work to eliminate any problems you are having with the sound and light that are in your home.

3. Think quietly. No matter what the reason of insomnia is linked to, you can find a way to cure it by slowing your mind down. Most who have problems sleeping recommend not to keep different mental stimulants on before you go to bed. Taking time before you go to bed to slow down your mind such as breathing deeply, meditating or listening to music, can all help you to relax, calm down and move toward a state of rest.

Jaye Jang · 10-04-2009, 07:49 PM

Creature6, that recipe makes me want to run right out and buy a Twinkie.

How to become a diet guru:

1) Start off skinny.
2) Take pix of yourself (after first PhotoShopping the 'before' shots).
3) Creat a website 'revealing' how you "lost weight", and rake in the 'buckies.'

Anarasha · 10-05-2009, 12:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ben lahnger

The easy way to serenity:

1. Find some bubble wrap.
2. Pop some of the bubbles.
3. Repeat as necessary.

/agree! :D

Ben Lahnger · 10-05-2009, 01:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by creature6

well that's the closest i can get to simplicity.

Clearly that's an untruth, as evidenced by your latest post. You could have made either post simpler, or chosen to post a simple subject. There's a reason why I don't post "3 Simple Steps for Preventing/Detecting Breast Cancer" here ... because it's a subject that defies being distilled down to 3 simple lines of text.

Your two posts could either have been boiled down to 3 simple lines of text, or they aren't appropriate for this game in the first place. It's simple really. Everyone else gets it. Can't you play nice with others?

__________________________________________________ __

How to make a delicious snack to eat while watching sports:

1. Open a tube of Ritz crackers.
2. Slice a block of medium to extra-sharp cheddar cheese into 1 inch squares.
3. Stack 1 piece of cheese on each cracker and enjoy.

I_Zik · 10-05-2009, 02:17 PM

How to love the tentacle.
1. Place tentacle near base of neck.
2. Place other tentacles near the base of other peoples necks.
3. Try to not get disgusted when you realize that your universe just got banged out a few quadrilion quickies through your spinal cord.

creature6 · 10-05-2009, 03:58 PM

[quote=Ben Lahnger;569685]. Everyone else gets it. Can't you play nice with others[quote]
i always had trouble to understand easy things.i 'm feel more at ease when things look complicated and i understand them far more better.

i shall try my best.

creature6 · 10-05-2009, 04:01 PM

3 easy Steps to Breaking Bad Habits
Think bad habits like nail biting and knuckle cracking are hard to break.
Step No.1: Make It Conscious.
Step No. 2: Put It in Writing So It Really Sinks In.
Step No. 3: Bait and Switch.

Jaye Jang · 10-05-2009, 05:56 PM

Three simple steps to confuse trolls:
1) Put troll in round room.
2) Tell troll to "go play in the corner."
3) Repeat.