Reincarnation of the poetry thread

[maggot]

'The Fall of Dominion'

The people fought back when the guilty went free,
And clashed with the mighty, the powers that be:
The underground worked as a perfect machine;
The uprise was brewing against king and queen!

Like a rock sitting strongly in fissure or crack,
It would know in its soul that it wouldn't go back:
Like a rock on a hill, pushed hard to go down,
And fall in a lake with naught choice but to drown.

The walls were destroyed, and the swarm flooded in,
The king tried to fool them, to hide his chagrin;
The paupers saw through the clever man's scheme,
And they thusly closed in to end his regime!

There was no escape for the last of his kind,
The land was now free, and forever unblind;
With nothing to hold the populace in fear
They went to rebuild and control their frontier!


It's sort of a more modern day tribute to 'The Destruction of Sennacherib' by Lord Byron.

[HumanePain]

Whoa, Maggot! That was AWESOME!

[MollyMac]

why go home
uncomfortable silences
are miles out of my way
and I have other places
to be

the miles back
longer than those away
buys time for False Springs
better scenarios
home free

nothing there
no one i want to be home
and dread of the reality
the only thing that changed
was me

no one believes
no one would if I spoke
no suspension of disbelief.
no shared architecture
empty

[HumanePain]

MollyMac: you have written the individual evolution and eventual separation from the others in a deep way. Almost a declaration of independence. Cool.

[Ishan]

Cool stuff, Maggot ... feels weird callling someone "Maggot" ... :o

[Ishan]

It is easy to die, and painful to live.
Those who survive have much to give.
Of their good life they shall share naught.
Their amok rage is all they've got.
But spare their friends and foes alike
if in that sharing they spare a life.

-

A 19 year old son of a friend committed suicide last night ... I did not know him well ... but I know exactly how he felt when the trigger was pulled.

[maggot]

Thankies, guys!



Ishan, that poem is krieg.

Mind if a give a small amount of critique on it, though? There's just one small thing.
I mean, I know it's an emotional poem, so you may not want it. That's fine with me.
^_^

[raggedyanne]

Wow. Maggot is amazing. I feel inferior; again. My poems never rhyme. This one I wrote for class. I recently moved into this really preppy district, so I've been drawing on all my really 'disturbing' past experiences for all my assignments.


Dear lost one,
they laughed at her,
it’s was as if she had no ears,
her ears were just like everyone else's,
she could hear just as well as they,
their words cut like the knife into her skin,
she kept walking through the crowd,
laughing at something a friend said,
pretending not to notice their pathetic goading,
we heard her dropping hints,
we saw as well as they,
her scars should have told us something,
but they were just brushed of like rain off her coffin,
she had so much to live for,
we should have seen it coming,
we saw it and did nothing,
she’s is gone now,
her hurt was known only to a few,
they called her emo, goth, untouchable,
so much for friends,
she said so little mattered,
she laughed off her pain,
we ignored her,
now she is dead,
never again will we ignore,
no more laughing at the silent screams,
we lost her and will not stand to lose another,
we promised ourselves we would not be like her,
yet I seem to be taking her worn and boody path

dedicated to the bestfriend who never got her drivers license

[HumanePain]

Originally Posted by raggedyanne

My poems never rhyme.

They don't need to rhyme, this forum is for people to post about feelings too, so in that context it's ok. From the front page of Gnet's webpage:

"Please come visit. People get upset, write poetry about it, and post it here."

And besides, people learn too. Not everyone who posts here has a degree in Literature. One must begin somewhere. In your case I would suggest you write prose. You seem to have a flair for telling a story rather than flowery rhymes. I am the same way.

Keep writing, and best of luck to you.

[raggedyanne]

thanks; ever thought of being a motivational speaker? I have the flu so I've been at home writing all week. It's nice to know that being delerious is not always a bad thing.

[Ishan]

Originally Posted by maggot

Thankies, guys!



Ishan, that poem is krieg.

Mind if a give a small amount of critique on it, though? There's just one small thing.
I mean, I know it's an emotional poem, so you may not want it. That's fine with me.
^_^

Hey Maggot ...

Yeah criticism is alright ... my last couple of posts haven't been real poems though ... one was a protracted diatribe featuring a wealth of pain, and another was about a kid who just killed himself.

What are your thoughts on them?

and ... I'm about to post a new thing shortly, so critique that, too!

[asta_tintora]

Ah, well have fun with it.

This blessed nuptial, the wedding knell
sonorous voice signaling the last phrase,
“I do,” murmured the dove festooned in lace.
Wedding over, the illusion never fell.

Flounced creature, beast of white, crying one,
with your kohl ridden tears and racking sobs,
you are the blemish that otherwise robs
the honeyed aura of your new union.

Never fear, never fret, you don’t show yet.
Under the veil so pure, no one knows;
a tiny spark of life within you grows.
Embrace their ignorance without regret.

However; curiosity forever wins;
and cruel gossip always grows under supposed sins.

[Vyvian Blackthorne]

Hopelessly lost in this world of fake bliss
Everyone must feel like this
They think I’m happy but I deny it
So many people they don’t understand
The arrogance of their plan
For me, I feel such everlasting pain
The tears, how they fall-
They fall like rain
Alone there’s no one here that understands me.
When shall I be free-
In an accepting community?

Around, all around this world-the angels all gather.
My dread grows as the headman’s axe falls upon my heart.
It mutilates me, and darkly
My blood drips like rain upon the thirsty earth, filled with fusion.
I flee as death, (O sweet DEATH!) hovers to the surface.
All alone, my love falls upon blind, bright eyes.
This is my salvation.

Upon his arrival to eternal salvation and justice-
The man to whom we shall only speak of here- felt the plea for love.
In the garden surrounded by death fining angels lay her grave.
His lust, so darkly enchanted it was. Ye wanted to be near her grave.
Death, how sweet it was yet he did not feel it. He wanted to be not only near her grave but with her.
So many years, he felt this way and so many years no longer he stood.
With him, he kept a blade. Yes a blade.
‘my love,’ he spoke ever so softly. ‘My darling’.
The disembowelment stroke him ever so peacefully, as his blood soaked into the dead grass. Cold, uncaring eyes stared upon the blood from above.
The angels deceived him, and he burnt with the rest.
He was not with his wife, he wished so much.
Yet lust was forbidden in this external hell.

[raggedyanne]

rain drenches parched earth
laptop eminates soft glow
damn, there goes wifi

[Mir]

Uhh, was that a poem? All three lines or just the first two?

[Ishan]

Eternity began when it ended, and in that same moment the darkness was banished by the light. The paradox is there can be no light without darkness; the black gives birth to the light, and the light banishes the blackness.

Our dark natures as humans are much the same. In the perfect shell of our evolved bodies do we find a beast. It is frightening to know that we can slip so easily into the role of the carnivorous savage. This makes the emergence of a genteel creature so gratifying. Few among us will achieve the perfection of eminent spirit that knows no hostility and suffers neither a boastful air nor condescension.

For the remainder of us, a great struggle is at hand. We may either disguise completely that horrid animal that lives within or we may permit the savage and the cultured natures to coexist. It makes many tremble, for the verity of such a life is difficult to reconcile.

I pity those who can not find their way to live this way ... for the rest of us ... we call this place Il Terra Gotico - The Gothic World.

Welcome.

[james"bloody tears"]

all my beatifull works

ID RATHER BE ASLEEP


Id rather be asleep
at there the dreams are sweet
id sleep all day
id sleep all night
but unfortanitly theres reality
this world I wake in
my grim reality
the truth I dont want to see
id rather be asleep
at least there the dreams are sweet-me

RAZORS EDGE


Weve all walked a Razors edge
that slim line between love and hate
Weve all fallen from time to time
to feel love or to feel hate
Weve all been cut by this Razors edge
to hate and love weve fallen
this Razors spilled our blood
just who will fall first
Its made us feel hate
made us hate our friends and despise our enemy's
Its made us feel love
love for those who hate us and for those we hate
its made us see another side
a side we dont want to see
o' Razors edge please let us be-ME

UNTITLED SONG(A WORK IN PROGRESS)
/I've senn the world fall down around me twice before/ And it's all for you. its all for you/ And I dont know what to say but its all okay ,its all okay/ and daer god I dont know what to do, but run away.

/And now we're face to face, you macthed me pace for pace/ caught me in your grip agian. This time I cant run away/ It's still okay I wont run away, this time i'll stay/

you shot me down turned me around, and now your making me decide/ I cant run away,its not okay, dear god what do I do?/ I dont want to hurt anyone, I dont want hurt.

nows one of those times I need a second oppinion./I need a vioce of guidence/ Who to turn to, to ask what to do?

I can't run away, it's not okay, dear god god it's not okay, what to say, I have to stay/ make it right, not to night, maybe later, I'll fix it then/ Then never comes I need to fix it now/ fix it here, fix it now , I just need to fix it/

BLOOD ON THE WALL

Your life is a joke
you power hungry maniac
you think cause we just sit and take it were weak

Ill show you weak
is your blood on the wall weak
your bleeding there
whos weak now

your bloods on the wall(2)
whos weak now with your blood on the wall
your bloods on the wall

can't you see it you little bitch
those stains are yours
those marks will go away
but what about these, these wont go away
but I bet you do

your bloods on the wall(2)
whos weak now with your blood on the wall
your bloods on the wall

The crimson carpet a bitter reminder of who stepped up
Im the one who made you bleed
I put your blood on the wall

Its all my fault your bloods on the wall
dont forget who put your blood on the wall
I put your blood on the wall.-ME

VOICES THAT DONT STOP

I hear the vioces
There not in my head
theyre to loud for that
I can see them now
Please make them stop
No! No! Get away! Get away!
Theres silence now
I dont now what to do
help me again
Tell me they aint dead
NO, theyre just drowned out.
This new noise is vioces
quit vioces
Why dont they speak!!!
END THIS SILENCE
I CANT TAKE IT ANY MORE!
No! Not like that
quite it! end this cycle
and now im dead
i hear nothing ever again-ME

FEAR ITSELF

I've seen her face a thousand times
I've slept with her on a hollow night
I've heard her voice inside my head
she stole my life
she made me run
because of her i can not sleep
she has made me as jumpy as a man on springs
she has me peering around corners and
looking over my shoulder
she has woke me up in cold sweat
she has made wary of others
she has effected my every move and
haunted my every thought
she is a demon i can never escape
I nightmare i cant wake from
she is fear itself, and she has me -ME

[Ishan]

Those of us who feel great passion also feel great pain.
We who know tremendous love know, too, tremendous rage.
I, to invoke civility, feel first some savagery!
And when the fear of lost hope overcomes my common sense
Will there become an act of class to contain the smite I rent?

Strike! Strike, man! Feel release and the letting of blood.
Race to all places good and dank and rage like on a drug!
Feelings that gnash upon the souls and hearts of self and friend
At last be known and absolved when rage is fully spent.
Quiet soon I be, and we may rest a moment then.

[raggedyanne]

the wind is like my thoughts

blowing wispy, then disappearing

the sea is like my indecision

going one way, the rushing back

the wind is like my sadness

always felt, but never seen

the sea is like my temper

changing with the tide

[Rasputin]

Tis! the scriptor dies!
(aka: The Writer's Requiem)

Tis! the scriptor dies!
cut off by hate but not his faith
Accomplished is his sacrifice
For his written work is done

The pen laid in him alone
The black ink had spilled and flowed
The waxing moon is risen on
and his revenging days now roam.

The days of Death and mourn is set
and all may live through him set free
his fiends lost their mortal pow'r
Tis destroyed by infamy.


A Writer's Hope

My hope is built on nothing less
than my own blood and my own pen
I dare not trust my unknown fame
but Inspired me by love and pain.

Through you o Endless love I bow
and other ones have broken vow
and other ones have broken vow

When midnight veils its lovely face
like my love with unchanging grace
through my own pen and paper lies
and life's written by fate and time

Through you o Endless love I bow
and other ones have broken vow
and other ones have broken vow

[bleedingheart344]

I'm sorry I'm not posting a poem, but I am actually aiming to cure me of my writer's block. I didn't feel like starting a separate thread for this, but I just cannot seem to get any good ideas, or if I do, cannot get them onto paper. Any advice guys? I just need inspiration!

[raggedyanne]

just put down sentance fragments until you think you have something.


Throughout a bleak and woeful city
the prossesi to park looms weary
a twilight romp through dusty allys
hardly justifies disgruntled cabbys
bones show through gripping hands
each meter is one of many last stands
silver clinks against green steel
when you return late despair you shall feel
to pay a towman for fees unneeded
driving home you've been defeated

[Shyantra]

In the middle of the night
In moon's beautiful glow
I wait for thee
But you no show

As the moon wanes
My worries grow
Worry that your love has left me
In the ground, to never sow

I cared or this love
With my whole soul
It breaks my heart
To see you not show

In the night I will come
But never when light shall show
For I do
I will have to go

My love, why have you let
Just like a scared doe
To protect you
I shoot my bow

Seeing you lying there
As your blood on the grass flows
I pierce my bosom
With the same arrow

On top of thee I lay
Until comes farmer Moe
Who buries our love
Near a river flow

[HumanePain]

Shyantra, that was cute! Even with the typos.

[HumanePain]

Originally Posted by raggedyanne

just put down sentance fragments until you think you have something.


Throughout a bleak and woeful city
the prossesi to park looms weary
a twilight romp through dusty allys
hardly justifies disgruntled cabbys
bones show through gripping hands
each meter is one of many last stands
silver clinks against green steel
when you return late despair you shall feel
to pay a towman for fees unneeded
driving home you've been defeated

Whoa. Heavy. Let me guess: a homeless person pushing their grocery cart around downtown?