Wanted: Communications Specialist

[triggerhappi26]

I can say it is the age, I've had 4 relationships in my life, the first to a girl who was the same age as myself it lasted 2 months, the second being to a 27 year old woman that relationship lasted roughly 6 months and the only person in my family who knew of that one was my Nan. The 3 rd was to a boy only 2 months younger than me, we lasted 16 months and had a rough break up my mother did know him very well in fact and they got along fine.

She never judged on my choice in partners male or female and has been (relatively) supportive in all my life choices.

As for my current bf, I didn't know that this would happen, he was a friend of a friend, we talked, it became almost like a teacher and mentor to a student. But as things grew we found solace in each other, a safety and warmth and an intense attraction. He didn't convince me to be with him I simply felt that I never wanted to be away from him, that just seeing him smile, making him happy could bring me such joy, at the same time he cared for me. I am loved and I love him. It's not a psychological mess because I have an ass of a father, I don't care about my father he doesn't mean anything to me and he hasn't since I was 6 years old. He's just some guy, not a motivational thing for me to go seeking an older man.

[Saya]

Originally Posted by triggerhappi26

feminine form of skeet - Squaw.

Thats not quite right, "squaw" is a racial slur for native women, yeah we use it for white women too but its a pretty racist thing to say.

Originally Posted by Ben

Al-Anon/Alateen of Newfoundland and Labrador - WEBSITE

Adult Children of Alcoholics Worldwide - WEBSITE
(while I couldn't find Newfoundland specific meeting info, there are some internet resources listed)

No worries, she's in BC right now!

[triggerhappi26]

well it's just copied from urban dictionary I couldn't come up with a decent definition.

[Saya]

Oh I know, just annoys me when people say it, racism against natives is just way too accepted here.

I don't really think of skeets as wiggers either, just dirty hicks who ride dirt bikes everywhere, have dirty looking mustaches and can't speak properly XD.

[Ben Lahnger]

Well, I wasn't really worried about the boyfriend that much, but that whole three paragraphs sounds like denial. If she's so supportive, where was she when you were in the hospital?

I think you missed my point.

[triggerhappi26]

She was with her boyfriend.

[Ben Lahnger]

Point, meet triggerhappi26.

[Catch]

Originally Posted by triggerhappi26

I suppose.

Should I slow down my plans for moving in with my bf?

Move in with your bf. That would be great. Work towards a positive future. Dwelling is good. That's when people work through their issues, but that's no reason to put off opportunities that may not be available later or add stress to a the relationship lasting forever. Sure, you have to get rid of all the baggage to be really happy. In due time.

[ape descendant]

Er, how is moving in with one's boyfriend qualify as " opportunities that may not be available later "? If that opportunity ceases to exist, its usually due to a breakup, in which case living together can be quite the hindrance to happiness.

[Frenn]

This is when quantify happiness. Is happiness now (a) worth the cost of moving(b), as well as breakup sadness (c).

now we apply the formula

a=b+c

if this is true, go for it.
For the rest of the population that falls into the statistics, it doesnt add up, as value 'a' depreciates over time in a generally negative exponential fashion.

sayings like "the grass is always greener on the other side" and "Don't try to cover the whole sky with the palm of your hand" may apply here

[triggerhappi26]

Well things didn't go well with my mom at dinner.

Things aren't going well with my bf either at the moment.

[ape descendant]

That makes me rather sad for you.

[triggerhappi26]

Its fine really.

[triggerhappi26]

Well things are better ish with my bf but my mom isn't taking my calls.

What do I do now?

[Ben Lahnger]

There isn't an answer for that. If you want to keep the boyfriend and that's what your mom objects to, there's nothing you can do to make her "see the light." You can't make her change her mind if she doesn't want to.

Sad to say, you're just going to have to accept the fact that she may not talk to you for a while.

[triggerhappi26]

I was worried that would be the answer but I get that too.

[Catch]

Whatever. Living on your own with a boyfriend generates positive social turn around. People respect people who are on par with their peers.

[All Shall Be Judged]

Originally Posted by triggerhappi26

I was worried that would be the answer but I get that too.

What do you think this place is, an oracle? You actually waited for an answer, worried that the internet might tell you the obvious, before accepting it?

I recommend joining a cult. They will offer love, support and positive affirmation. Often, people have trouble with forsaking their families in favour of their new lifestyle, but apparently that won't be a problem here.

You're welcome,
The Judge

[triggerhappi26]

I was hoping for some better advice plain and simple it's just too bad there's nothing more I can do.

[M.Valdemar]

Originally Posted by triggerhappi26

I was hoping for some better advice plain and simple it's just too bad there's nothing more I can do.

All advice aside; What would you LIKE to do?

[triggerhappi26]

I'd like to still keep some family.

[M.Valdemar]

In my experience (and I hope yours too), family keeps.

If it doesn't keep, then it isn't family.

[Catch]

Originally Posted by triggerhappi26

I was hoping for some better advice plain and simple it's just too bad there's nothing more I can do.

He'll like you more after moving in.

[Solumina]

Shut up Catch

Moving in will cause a lot of problems to come out, this doesn't mean that it will cause you two to split, it just means that it is not something that should be done without careful thought and consideration.

[Ben Lahnger]

Not to mention Catch completely missed the fact that the thing she was worried about here was the relationship with her mom, which is non-existent for the moment, and Catch's advice was useless in that regard.